The Nightmare of Escaflowne
by UnbalancedNinja
Summary: ..."I'm worlds away..." Dark passions, temptations, and desires lead Gaea into a new fate which can dominate both her and the Mystic Moon.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I do not own Escaflowne! However, I have made new characters in this fiction that weren't in the anime. I was too lazy to research Hitomi's mother's name and her brother's name, so I made it up. The mother's name is the same as the Japanese voice actor. Hitomi's brother's name in Japanese means first son. Figured that worked. Anyhow, here it is!

* * *

**The Nightmare of Escaflowne**

**Nightmare One: I Can't See You**

"Van! Stop! Stay your sword! She's dead already! You can't change that!" Cried a desperate voice with tears streaming down the face. Intoxicated by revenge and malice, Van ignored the shout and drove his sword deeper into the man's left shoudler. The victim was already pinned against the wall, gasping for life as the sword went farther into his flesh. Van grimaced and his palms clenched tight onto the hilt of his blade.

"Van!" he heard the voice behind him cry again. He turned around with a stern look in his eyes and spat onto the ground. "Shut up, Merle! Hitomi is DEAD because of him! He deserves to die!" The man coughed up some blood and gave a haughty smirk. "Kill me, Van? I'm already dead, dear brother." Van jolted his head back to the impaled Folken and stood in awe-struck horror as the body melted into shadow, leaving no trace except for the bloody sword stuck into the wall. He ran to where Folken had been and clutched the sword, still bewildered on what had exactly happened. The hilt was cold to the touch, almost freezing, and he could feel that seeping into his heart; sending goosebumps all over his body. He pulled it out of the wall and the excess blood splashed onto his tunic. He just stood there, completely lost in a trance staring at his regal sword.

Merle was speechless, but she couldn't cry anymore. Just seeing Van like this made her despair; she hated how dark he looked, how... how evil. "L-Lord Van..." she barely uttered. He didn't move, he was like a stone statue at this point. Heavy-laden with sorrow, Merle just curled up into a ball trying her best not to cry or scream. She couldn't believe that he had snapped at her, and even looking at her like he would have killed her if she got in his way. Didn't they grow up together? Been through many hard times together? Didn't she help him out after his mother had died? And... and... didn't she love him?

Van knelt down and placed his hands on Merle's head. "Oh Merle." Her ears perked up a little and she made an attempt to smile. "Yes, Lord Van?" His hand clamped hard onto her hair and he pulled her towards him. "If you ever get in my way again..."  
"Lord Van?"  
"I'll definitely kill you."  
Merle blinked her eyes and breathed heavily. "W-what?"

Van paid no attention to what she said and walked away from her with his back turned. Merle's insides burned and her vision was almost blinded from all of the tears now pouring out. She lifted her arm to him, still crippled and screamed. "LORD VAN!"

Van woke up sweating, finding himself in his bedroom. Castle Fanelia had recently been rebuilt and it had only been two years. Two years since Hitomi went away. He grasped his bedcovers and scanned the room only to discover Merle staring him in the face just a few inches away from his nose. He blushed and shoved Merle off of his bed. "Hey!" she scolded him. She rolled back onto her feet and noticed that Van was lost in deep thought. "You... you were dreaming about her again, weren't you, Lord Van?" He shook his head. "No, I..."

"Stop it, Van! Stop denying it! Of course you were! I can tell. I can always tell what you're thinking."  
"I know Merle, I just... I just miss her."  
"It's been two years! Get over her!" she said giving him the look of death and placing her arms on her hips. He looked at her and just sighed. "Two years, huh? Ever since that day... She's still alive, right?"  
Merle snapped her head back in response to such an odd and emotional question from Van. She closed her eyes and waved her finger in the air above her head. "How should I know? She got spirited away back to the Mystic Moon, after all. That stupid girl probably got herself into trouble the second she returned."  
For the first time in many years, Merle saw a look of deep concern come across Van's face. Immediately, she jumped back onto his bed and sat on all fours. She smiled at him and continued to speak, "Of course she's alive, Lord Van! A girl like her... a girl like her will be just fine. Even if she is a clutz."

"Oh, I see," Van said, still basically oblivious to his rare emotional side.  
"You still love her, don't you Van?" Merle asked, looking away from his eyes.

* * *

"Hitomi? You sleeping again?"  
"Huh? Wha?" she said, coming out of a daze. "Oh, hey Yukari. I was just..."  
"Just staring out of the window in class? I know what's going on," Yukari said as she smiled. Hitomi blushed and gave Yukari an angry look. "I was not! That, that was two years ago! Besides... I'm pretty sure he's not thinking about me anymore anyways."

Yukari frowned. "Hitomi! There you go again, acting like your old depressive self. This is our last year at school, you know. You haven't had a boyfriend since Van, and all of the cute guys here are being snatched up!" Hitomi pouted and sank her head into her arms. "Yeah, like Amano." The words slipped out of her mouth without her even thinking until it was too late. She lifted her head up only to have it smacked hard by her best friend. "What did you just say?" Yukari looked harsh, like a murder had just taken place.

"I... I don't know," Hitomi responded in a solemn, depressed voice looking away. Yukari raged and held Hitomi by her collar. "Like hell you don't! You still have the hots for him! You going behind my back? He's MY boyfriend! Not YOURS!"  
Hitomi started to tremble. "Well... I don't know! He reminds me of Allen and, and... Van's gone, so..." Yukari slapped her friend again, this time even harder. "What's your problem, Hitomi? Who is it? Van? Amano? Allen? Just so you know, one of those three is already taken. You always this fickle? I thought you said you loved Van!"

Hitomi cowered into her seat and muffled her voice inside her arms. "I'm confused is all." Hitomi raised her head back up again and actually shed a tear. "Yukari, I'm sorry. Amano reminds me of Allen. Allen reminds me of Gaea. And that reminds me of Van. And I liked all three of them! I guess I still do... It's not like I can go back! Van kept my pendant and I'm pretty sure he doesn't care about me now. Probably out on another idiotic war or something..." Yukari hated it when Hitomi cried because it always made her cry and she thought this girl had actually become more cheerful. Was probably wrong about other things too. Seeing how school was over for the day, she guided Hitomi to the track field. Hitomi had rejoined the team a few months after she came back, but now it all felt so very strange. "Yukari... Why did you take me here?"

"This is where it all started, right?"  
"But this is where Amano was going to... kiss me..."  
"Yeah, I know. That's why I brought you here, stupid. I want to get this cleared up." They sat on a bench and Hitomi gazed at her feet falling into a blank stare. "You know," Hitomi said, breaking their awkward silence, "I've hardly thought about him for these past two years. I mean, sure I did after I returned, I thought I loved him. But he's... he's in another world, right? It's not like I could wait for someone who would never come! I tried to forget, but... but... he still has a part of me and I can feel my heart tugging. I'm pathetic."

"I'm pathetic, I'm pathetic, I'm pathetic!" Yukari said, mocking Hitomi. "That's all you ever say! That you're pathetic! If you're so pathetic, how come I just stood Amano up for our date tonight, hmm? I wouldn't do that for anyone you know." Yukari winked, but now the tears were starting to run down her face this time. "I don't think you're pathetic! And..." she paused for a moment before continuing her sentence, "neither did Amano..." She looked at the ground, moving her foot around.  
"Yukari?" Hitomi asked, concerned.

"That's why I brought you here, Hitomi. I wanted you to know that. I was... I was probably second-place anyways. It was two years ago, but I can't ever forget that look of excitement he had in his eyes when you made your run. He truly wanted to kiss you that night, I could even feel his intentions from the other side of the track. And he hasn't... I don't think he has ever looked at me in that way. Yeah, he loves me, but... Sometimes I feel like I'm just second place." She hugged Hitomi and waited for her response. "Oh Yukari! Thank you."

The two held each other and cried on each other's behalf until Yukari's phone rang. She jumped off the bench and checked the number. Amano. She answered it without hesitation. "Hm? Oh, sorry Amano! I had to help a friend with a sudden crisis. Huh? Yeah, I guess she's okay now." she glanced over at Hitomi and then looked away. "What? Now? Oh, yeah, I know I didn't show up, but... Yeah, but she still might need to... Alright, alright. I'll ask her. I'll call you back to let you know, okay darling? Yeah, see you." She sat back down and held Hitomi's hands. "Hey girl. You gonna be okay? Amano wants me to meet him, he sounds a bit confused on why I missed our date. I don't want him thinking anything strange about me."  
"Did you...?"

"Huh? No way! I didn't tell him it was you! With our luck he'd probably rush on in and make matters even worse! Don't worry, okay? I won't tell him what happened. I'll just have to make something up," she winked again and Hitomi smiled. "Yeah, I'll be fine. You go catch up to Amano, I'll turn off the track lights and everything else." Yukari took a bow and ran off out of sight, waving goodbye before she faded from view.  
"Yeah, that's right Yukari... I hope you have fun with Amano tonight. It's not like I can go out with Van whenever I want or anything..." _Pathetic._

Hitomi walked back to her house alone, taking one slow step after another. She didn't know if it was normal for her to be acting this way; it had only been two years but it had felt like so much longer. It was true that she hadn't _really_thought about Van but then again, he had always been on her mind; they had been in love. He was her first love, at that. She desperately tried to forget him, however. It seemed futile to love someone who was literally worlds away. Besides which, he had her pendant so there was basically no chance she could go back, and if he could or even wanted to come back he probably would have by now. She threw her hands up in the air in frustration and let out a deep breath. For some reason, Van had been on her mind constantly today, like he was calling her or something. "That's not possible! He's gone!" she screamed, holding her head trying to clear out all her thoughts. She reached the front door to her house and stepped inside. "Hey hun! You're back a little late tonight, everything okay?" her mother asked. She smiled and answered. "Yeah, I just had a long day is all. Just feeling a little tired."

"HA! You're **always** tired, Hitomi! No wonder why you've never had a boyfriend!"  
Hitomi got angry and nearly punched her younger brother. She let it go and just sighed. "You're lucky I'm tired, or I'd hit you."  
"Psh. Like I care. You're a girl. Everybody knows that girls can't hit." Hitomi growled and scared her brother away. She stormed up to her room and locked the door behind her, trying to find a way to relax her nerves. She put her back against the door and slid down to the floor. "Why can't I get you out of my mind, Van? It's hard to love someone who isn't even here... I can't even see you, you jerk..." She embraced her thighs and burried her head into her knees for a few minutes until she finally got ahold of herself. "There you go again, Hitomi. Acting like the stupid typical High School girl. Depressed. I had been over this, but–" Her head lifted up and caught notice of something very strange on her bed: Tarot cards.

Confused, she ran her fingers through her hair and stood up slowly. "What on earth? I thought I put these things away!" Hitomi had given up fortune-telling almost as soon as she returned back to earth, her role in the Destiny War made her rethink her past decisions. She had been tempted many times to just throw the cards out but there was something about them, like an invisible chain binding her to them; gracefully but forcefully constantly calling out her name. Besides, _they_ were the reason she even met _him._ They were all stacked neatly in a deck in the middle of her bed, save for one card face down to the right of the deck. She knelt to the floor and did nothing but look at the cards for a few seconds before she shook her head trying to focus back into reality and logic. "How did?" she asked with a quizzical look in her eye, "How did they even get here?" Instinctively, she reached out her arm to the card and didn't notice until her fingers touched it. She pulled them back immediately, like she had just touched a flame. She cradled her right hand into her stomach, confused and afraid of what might happen if she turned the card over. Not to mention what she would actually _see_ on the other side. She blinked and reached out her hand again, but this time it felt like 200 pounds was on top of it. The fingers touched the mattress, literally centimeters away from the bottom edge of the card. "This, this was just all fake anyways, right? I... I..." She closed her eyes and turned her head away in fear. The card was lifted and placed on its back, revealing the picture on the front. She opened her eyes and shifted her sight back onto her bed, more or less ready to see what the card would say. It couldn't be real anyways, right? Right? Her eyes opened halfway and remained there for about a second before she finished. "Well, let's see what this has to say. I can't believe that I am even doing th–" Her sentence was cut short the moment her eyes laid gaze on the revealed card.

"A... A Dragon..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Nightmare Two: A Fateful Mistake**

"A Dragon, you say?" questioned a shadowed figure, standing alone behind the trees of the forest.

"Yes, my Lord. And," the man said trembling with excitement, "I know who he is."  
"Is that so? Well, we are in one of the forests of Fanelia. Plenty of Land Dragons out here. Could have been one of them."  
"No, this one, he's different. We have a special bond together, oh yes we do," the man said, stroking his cheek and giving a wide sinister grin.  
"Different? Well, assuming you are who you say you are, you could be right. Then again, you also failed and helped towards the fall of Zaibach."  
"I AM right! I'll kill you!" Dilandau screamed, drawing his sword in anger. The hidden man unleashed his weapon and met steel with steel. His broad scythe forced back Dilandau's sword and pierced through his shoulder. He dropped to his knees, paralyzed from the pain and feeling his warm blood river down his skin. The man stepped out of the shadows unfurling his large blood-red wings. "Fool, you are centuries behind me to even raise your sword." He pushed the scythe deeper into Dilandau and then extracted it, sending a searing pain throughout his entire body. Dilandau shot a fierce look at him and spoke. "W-who are you anyways?" he managed to say, grappling his wound.  
"Who am I? An angel. An angel of death."

* * *

Van practiced his skill with the sword as he fenced with Allen under the starlight of a beautiful midnight sky. The sparks flew in the air and the two clashed back and forth, trying to overpower the other. No matter how hard Van swung, he couldn't get that dream out of his mind; "I'll kill you," he had said. He could still see the sorrow in Merle's eyes after he said those words. The sound of her weezing could be heard with every clang and scratching of steel. Allen was visiting from Astoria, happy to see Van and excited to see how Fanelia was recovering. A sense of familiarity always came whenever their swords would clash together; they had the same teacher and shared some of the same memories after all. But then again, with their past history, sometimes that made them formidable enemies instead of friends. Especially with Van. His sword sparked when it was halted by Allen's. The two stood there shaking, but Allen noticed an intense look in Van's eye. He pushed him back and sheathed his sword. "You've improved greatly since our last match, Van. I don't sense any hesitation in your strikes, but something's still on your mind." Van jumped back and also put away his blade. The starlight illuminated the courtyard and glistened on Hitomi's pendant around his neck. "Nothing's on my mind!" _Liar!_ he thought.

"Is being King this difficult?" Allen asked with a wide smile. Angered by Allen's obvious insult, Van placed his hand on his sword handle.  
"Stay your hand, Van! Have you forgotten? I must answer steel with steel, even if you are the King. I've sworn to protect you, but if you come at me, you will lose." Van relinquished his clutch and scowled. "Keep to your own business, Allen."  
"Yeah? Well, he's right, you know. Thinking about _her_ all of the time," Merle said under her breath stalking behind a bush in the court.  
"It **is** my business, Van. I swore to protect Fanelia and her King. Besides, if you keep acting like this, you'll get yourself killed."

"I'll act however I want, Allen. I'm the King," Van said, harboring some malicious thoughts. He couldn't understand why, but he had been on edge ever since that dream.  
"You're also stubborn and immature."  
"Immature?" Van repeated, raising his eyebrows and crouching into a striking stance. "You shouldn't talk! I wasn't trying to romance some girl half my age!" Allen stood stupefied and the hair on Merle's tail shot up. "Lord Van..."  
Allen gave Van a serious yet sad look. "You're still angry at me, Van? That was two years ago. And she did choose you, not me."  
"Yeah? And now she's gone!"

Merle circled around herself before curling onto the grass. "Oh Lord Van... Just shut up. Who cares if she's gone? I'm still here..." Allen studied Van for a few seconds and then threw his head back and laughed. "My oh my. Who would have thought the King could have such emotions?" Van looked at him and didn't respond. Emotions? Since when was the last time he had felt any of those? His eyebrows raised for a second and he remembered. The last time he had these types of feelings was when Hitomi was here. Yeah, sure, he had felt other emotions throughout his life. Ones like fear, anguish, joy, and quite often selfishness. He even knew what love was, at least, he thought he did. He loved his country with everything he had and more, and even his companions. Merle of course, was one of them. They were always together in good times and bad, but had always viewed her as a sister, not a lover. He figured she probably felt the same way about him, why would she feel any different? "Speechless, Van?" he heard Allen ask.

"What? No... I've just been acting strange this past week."  
"You think it's good or bad?"  
"Hard to tell."  
"Well just cheer up, Van. Whatever it is, you musn't let it conquer your duties as King."

"Hehe. I know what will cheer Lord Van up," Merle said with a devilish smile. "I'll just sneak up behind him and bam! Heheheeh." She scampered out of her hiding place behind the two swordsmen and ran straight towards Van. "Lord Van!" she exclaimed as she pounced a few feet away from him. Startled, Van turned around and pushed the blurry object onto the ground, drawing his sword to meet his attacker. The sharp tip of the blade rested only an inch away from Merle's face and the look on the both of them was confusion and fear. By the time Van noticed what was going on, Merle had already begun to cry. Her sobbing forced the horrible image of his dream back into his head. "W-what? Are you? D-doing?" Merle asked inbetween breathings, eyes almost useless because of her tears. He froze in place, still having the sharp end of his sword pointed directly at Merle.

"VAN!" Allen shouted, reviving Van's mind back into reality. At once, he dropped his sword and his hands twitched, unable to explain why they would even hold a weapon so close to Merle's face. He couldn't explain why he even did that. He had **never** done that before. True, Merle seemed to always surprise him with her jumping and clinging, but he wouldn't ever unsheathe his weapon to attempt a counterstrike, it was always a welcomed surprise. Even when he didn't want her to, she'd still pounce on him so fast that he couldn't react. There was no reason at all that he'd attack Merle. Not a single one. That voice rang inside his ear, "I'll kill you. I'll kill you. I'll kill you." Perhaps there was a reason...

Crying with a burning pain, Merle raced away from him, leaping into the nearby forest. He was still at a loss for words, at a loss for, well just about everything at the moment. The royal sword lay on its side near its master's feet, but he could not even move, much less care about retrieving it. The instant Allen touched his shoulder, Van pulled back and fell down, unable to regain balance. His breathing was heavy and his heartbeat fast, but after a few minutes of incredible silence, things were starting to get back to normal, or so it seemed. He stood to his feet and looked at his friend. "What just happened, Allen?" The Knight knew about as much as Van did. "I was going to ask you the same, Van. That was no way to treat a lady, especially one as close as her."  
"I don't know what happened, Allen! I just acted on my own, and that dream I had last night..." Allen looked over Van but then scratched his head. "What dream?" Van was silent.

"Is everything okay?"

Amano poked Yukari on her arm until she answered his question. "Huh? What?"  
"Is everything okay? I've only asked you about ten different times," he said, smiling.  
"Sorry, babe. I think I was spacing out. I was just lost in memories." She had barely looked at Amano the entire day and now the sun was starting to set, almost seemed like their day off was practically worthless. She promised him that she'd go out all day with him today, but something was definitely amiss. "You know, Yukari, this date won't be much fun if you're just going to remain silent the whole time. Something's bugging you." He reached out for her hand and embraced it in his warm and soothing touch. Yukari connected her fingers with his but she still seemed distant, like far off in another world. She eventually locked eyes with him and spoke. "Hey Amano, I was wondering..." Amano went on high alert. What was she going to ask him? She had been silent all this time and now she's holding his hand tight. He gulped. "Wondering what?"

"Do you..."  
His eyes widened and started to sweat.  
"Do you love me?"  
Amano crashed his head onto the table they were sitting at and exhaled a very deep breath. He was actually relieved.  
"What kind of question is that? Of course I love you! We've been going out for two years, silly. What sparked this?" He moved in closer and wrapped his arms around her. Yukari wasn't usually the type of girl to show any signs of doubt. "H-Hitomi. No! Wait! It's um..."

Too late, she said it. He held onto her tighter. "Hitomi? What's she have to do with any of this? I'm with you, remember?"  
"You sure about that? She was talking about you," Yukari said, pushing him away.  
"Ah, so that's what's on your mind. I'm still her friend you know. Both of you are wonderful friends. No idea why you're worried about this, but the only girl I'm lookin' at right now is you. Forget all the rest."  
"So I'm not second-place or anything, right?"  
"Second-place? Who told you that? I don't care if you're halfway across the galaxy and worlds away! I'm not going to forget about you!" He touched her cheeks and brought her face to his. "And I won't stop loving you."

* * *

Hitomi brushed her hair in front of the vanity mirror in her bedroom. It had already been a week since her last emotional breakdown, but Van still refused to be shoved out of her mind. Her mind wandered and wandered, but always came back to the very place she wanted to escape from; him. Why did she even care? That idiot was too far away but now he was far too _close._ "You jerk," She spoke out loud, as if Van would actually hear it. She kept glancing at her bed, expecting the cards to be there again, but nothing was there. "Yeah, of course," she sighed. Since that happened, it totally freaked her out and she placed the deck of cards into a tin box, locked it, and placed it on her top bedroom closet shelf, the farthest back she could could reach. A Dragon, how absurd. It was just luck that she picked that card up. But then again... how? It didn't make any sense, but chances were that her brother was just being stupid and decided to put the cards there in the first place. He always loved messing around with her things. Figured he flipped through them and saw that card, "Oooh! Cool! A Dragon!" he probably said. Still though, its appearance and her memories... They all seemed like a bit too much to just be written off as coincidences, especially now.

She put the brush down and tapped the desk a number of times before finally standing up and walking to the closet. She first checked her bedroom door, yeah, it was still locked. The sliding glass pane on her closet revealed to her all of her clothing, shoes, school books, and, and... There it was; that stupid tin box. Should she open it? That's why she went into the closet, right? "You've got to be kidding me..." she said, rolling her eyes. She tossed the box onto her bed and made her way to her study desk. She cleared it off without even thinking and then set the metallic object onto its surface. She undid the lock and extracted the cards onto her desk. The metal case was set neatly on the floor and she paid attention to the full deck of Tarot cards. _This is so childish, when are you going to grow up, Hitomi?_ she thought to herself, still unsure if she even wanted to see those cards again. "Gah! I wish that I had just thrown this out! Wouldn't be so tempted to..." _Wish._ That word echoed in her mind, taking the voice of her grandmother along with it.

_"Hitomi, did you know that humans have an amazing power?"  
"Really Grandma? What is it?"  
"The power of dreams. Whatever your dream and whatever your wish, if you wish hard enough it'll reach the stars and their powers will make them come true."  
"Honest, Grandma? So does that mean..."  
"Yes my dear, humans have the power to change their own..."  
_"Fate," Hitomi spoke aloud, remembering that conversation from long ago.  
"Were you serious back then, Grandma? Can humans actually change their fate?"

"I know I can change it," Van said, knocking his arrow onto his bow.  
"If I wish hard enough..." He let his arrow fly. "It will reach the stars." The arrow completely missed its target and Van opened his eyes to see where it had landed; at least a few meters off. That's what one gets when practicing archery blinded. Agitated, he threw the bow and quiver behind him. That was his fifth arrow, all had missed. He flicked the beautiful red stone on Hitomi's pendant and took a breath. "Dousing, huh? Why won't it work now?" It didn't cross his mind that he never practiced this technique after Hitomi left. That was probably the reason the stone didn't shine, maybe only _she_ could pull this off. Every arrow that flew had Merle's face pictured onto it. That was the second time he saw the same thing, but it had only happened once. "Merle, I'm sorry."

He wanted to go out and search for her, but after she saw him like _that_... "It's probably best just to leave her alone, that's why she left anyways." He took up the bow again and restrung it. She'd be fine, she was a Cat, she'd have no problem surviving out there. And in any event, she would never stray too far and Van knew that she had no desire to see him for at least a little while. He was still pretty shaken up about it himself. On the next arrow, he could see a very faint and fuzzy image of a woman's face inside his mind. The red stone shimmered and something equivalent of a second-sight entered into Van's vision. He fired the arrow and it hit. Dead center.

Hitomi touched her top, near the heart area. She felt a quick stinging pain and then nothing. It almost... It almost felt good, as strange as that sounded to her. She twitched her head and returned to her senses. All of the cards were out, positioned into its Celtic ten card spread. She reached for her pendant as she had done all of the times prior and was shocked to realize that it wasn't around her neck. At first, she looked around the room frantically for it, but then cooled down and remembered where it was; where it had been for the past two years. All the cards were staring her at the face and she was down to the last four to complete the reading. The first one was flipped over, the Devil. Hitomi was surprised.  
"The Devil? But I..." all of the temptations and desires she had raced across her mind. There was Amano. There was Allen. And of course, there was Van. She knew she loved Van, but the other two... _Oh God, they're so hot!_ she thought to herself. "I want... I want..." she slapped her face to wake up and shook off all of the ideas.

Second card. The Lovers. "That makes sense, I guess," she told herself. Almost instantly, all of her memories from Van came rushing back inside her head. The times they had spent, the wars, the... The betrayal. _Her_ betrayal. Just as she was getting close to Van, she turned around and latched herself onto Allen. He even kissed her first, she was never the same since then. It felt like it would have if Amano had done it, she thought. True, their fate had been toyed around with by Dornkirk, but that was all. She hoped. But she also hoped...  
"Gah!" she screamed. Just then, the visions of Yukari and Amano were seen. She smiled as she saw the two together, being very happy. But this card combined with the previous, as much as she wanted Yukari to be happy, she kept pushing her out of the picture and clinging to Amano's arm just like Merle would Van. And then Amano shifted forms from Allen, Van, and himself. It was all going just way too fast. She held her head and moved it around. "No." It was the only word she managed to say.  
The third was flipped over and a look of horror swept over Hitomi's face; she knew this card. Knew it far too well, at that. "The Tower," she spoke, actually shedding a tear. The meaning of this card had never changed for her, it had always been distant separation. It was true even now. She was away from Van, too far away. And from the rest as well. She turned over the final card.

* * *

Yukari lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. "I'll never forget about you," she repeated, "Even if you're worlds away." Worlds away. That sounded so unusual to her, almost cheesy but in the heart-stopping romantic way. She was fanning herself already just thinking about it. They had been dating for two years, and loved every second of it. Hitomi on the other hand, had her concerned. At first, Hitomi was extremely happy when she came back, but after a while she started to become depressed again. Confused, even. Yukari even wondered what Hitomi's _exact_ thoughts about Amano were. **Her** Amano.

* * *

"No! This can't be right! This card! It's..."

"Wrong! This is totally wrong!" Van said in angst. He ripped the pendant off his neck and clutched it in his hand. It was warm, but that was about it. It only shone once this night and when it had, he could barely even make out Hitomi's face. Merle's kept appearing, too. He really wanted that scene to go away; it was so horrible, but he also had complete dominance in the dream. Total control and loved it. Scary. Truly scary. One last time, he forced himself to picture Hitomi, but for some reason he couldn't see her. It all appeared...

"Blank."

"What? What does this mean?" Hitomi squealled. "The spare card shouldn't be here! Not again!" She felt a weird sting in the middle of her chest, crazy thoughts swarmed all around and caused a massive headache, making her very dizzy. She threw the spare card down and it landed on top of the Lovers.  
"Oh just screw it all!" Hitomi said disgusted, trying to ignore what happened and claim it was only the confusion in the moment. "Just screw it all, Van. Okay? It hurts so much that I can't see you. I just want... I just want you to fade away into the back of my mind." Her face turned red and she pounded the floor. "And **STAY **there!"

* * *

The pendant in Van's hand heated and scorched his palm. It jumped out, and he sheltered the seared skin onto his tunic. "The-the hell?" Van said, fixating his eyes on the burning red stone that was now violently shaking on the ground. A large pillar of smoke arose from its center and he heard a screaming disembodied voice howling in the wind. "Stay away!" the female voice boomed. He stood silent for a moment until he bent down and picked up the pendant. It turned black in his hands and he repeated those words.

* * *

"Stay away! I don't even know you!" Amano shouted through the phone.  
"But you said... I just wanted to..." Yukari said, almost in tears.  
"I don't know who you are, and I don't _want_ to know who you are! Never call me this late again, ok?"  
The voice on the other side was silent and after about a minute of Amano's shouting, he noticed that the phone line was now beeping off the hook.


	3. Chapter 3

**Nightmare Three: Even if You're Worlds Away...**

A blinding column of glorious of light dissipated from afar as Denieos stood on a mountain, gazing out at sea. A smirk came across his face and spread his wings. He flew the opposite direction of where the light originated and landed in a secluded area away from almost any conceivable threat. Dilandau was there waiting for him, along with a small army of renegade Zaibach soldiers. "Lord Denieos, was that from the Mystic Moon?" Dilandau asked, barely containing himself with excitement.

"Most likely."  
"Is it... her? That wretched girl?" Dilandau asked in anticipation.  
"Not sure, it's been ages since I've been on the receiving end of a Jump. Well, it doesn't matter in the least. Van's still alive and he holds the Key to Gaea's final battle; a war that will span across both worlds, just as fate would have it. Escaflowne."

* * *

"What? Where am I?" asked a young woman still holding her head in a daze. "Was I drunk or something? I don't remember being here..." The last thing she remembered was the conversation she had with Amano. It didn't seem real, though. And then after that, there was nothing. Like a brilliant flash of nothingness. _I don't know who you are!_ "What?" _Never call me again! "_Is this... No..." _I'll never forget about you, Yukari. Even if you're worlds away. _Yukari looked up into the sky as if she'd find some type of answer and when she did, she screamed out her lungs. There it was, right above her head: Earth.

Merle perked her ears at a semi-distant sound, like the call of a large bird. She had been away from Van the entire night, purposefully avoiding him the best she could. Van never raised his sword to her before, why would he even dream of doing it now? He was just probably on edge for some reason, he hadn't been acting like himself for over a week. "Hitomi, this is all your fault," she said. "And you know it, too." Still curious, she continued to search for that loud sound she had heard just a few minutes ago. "I wonder what went wrong? I hope everything's okay, whatever it is. Maybe I should turn back." She stopped and placed her finger in her lips to think. "Yeah, maybe I should." Just then, she heard another sound but this time it was much closer. It sounded like a cry of pain, almost as if somebody was getting ready to die. By the time she went to fetch Van, this person (if it even was a person), could very well be dead. She scurried to the location of the sound and saw a figure lying on the dirt, curled like they had been frozen solid, trying to find their last bit of warmth. She walked up closer to the body and recognized that she was not from Gaea. In fact, she'd seen these types of clothes before.

"Hitomi... If that's you..." As she got closer, she noticed that it wasn't Hitomi at all but the girl still looked strange. Well, 'strange' according to a Cat. She poked at the figure until it woke up. Almost immediately, Yukari screamed from the sight of Merle. "Ouch! I have EARS you know!" Merle scolded, holding them down. "It talks!" Yukari stuttered, backing away from Merle. "It? Whaddia mean 'it?' Of_course_ I talk! What's your problem?"  
"But-but you're a..."  
"A Cat?" Merle beamed proudly. "Yep! You're looking at a special one, too! I'm gonna marry Lord Van someday and become Queen of Fanelia!" She licked her paw and looked at Yukari who was still perplexed to say the least.  
"Lord Van? Hey, wait a minute! But he's Hitomi's..." Merle's hair stood on end and she rushed into Yukari's face, meeting with her forehead. "Hitomi? Who are you? How do you know that girl? Tell me!" Merle was now pouting, looking very jealous and irritated.  
"Hitomi? Who are **you?** And **where** am I?" Yukari demanded.  
"Where? What are you, stupid or something? This is Gaea."

"What?" Yukari still wasn't registering the initial shock.  
"Ennaah!" Merle exclaimed in annoyance, holding her head. "What's your deal? Seriously?" Yukari was silent and Merle finally noticed that she had been staring at the Mystic Moon. "So..." Merle said, acting calm for the first time in their 'conversation', "Who are you?"  
"Yu-Yukari," she said, still hesitant and confused. Her eyes were dry from all of her crying and for the first time since she appeared, she finally noticed that the only thing she had was the outfit she usually slept in: An undershirt and very loose hot-pants. She looked herself over and sighed frustrated. Merle laughed. "Ha! Yeah, you're dressed pretty weird, aren't you?" Yukari blushed. "Shut up! I was getting ready for bed and..."

Merle was curious and cocked her head, "And?"  
"Amano..."  
"Amano? That proves it! You DO know Hitomi! That's the moron she wouldn't shut up about when she came! Where is she? She here?" Merle moved all around, pushing Yukari out of the way as she hunted for Hitomi. It was like Hitomi was the harmless mouse and Merle was the tiger. She gave up and shot Yukari an icy glare. "She better not be!" Yukari frowned at the odd Cat creature before hinting a very tiny smile. She was frightened out of her mind, but at least this 'thing' wouldn't eat her. This girl or whatever she was could probably tell her what was going on, apparently they had a common friend.

"But I'm worlds away..." she said to herself, _And Amano lied..._

_

* * *

_

Van walked into the forest, wearing the black crystal pendant around his neck, despite its unusual transformation the night before. Hitomi's voice kept ringing in his ears, but he couldn't understand why. All he had been seeing this past week were the faces of Merle and Hitomi and frankly, he was getting pretty sick with it. Their voices wouldn't shut up, either. After he had heard Hitomi scream at him through the pendant, he didn't know what to think. He didn't _want_ to think. Everything the past week had been so awkward and at the same time, felt very familar. It was as if all his memories were blending together in an unseen destiny; the same feeling he would always get when Hitomi did one of her readings. Dornkirk's machine had done that as well, but both were gone. Long gone.

Before he knew it, he discovered that he was heading towards the ancient ruins of Fanelia. He felt a presence drawing him closer and closer to the middle. He had originally ventured out to search for Merle; he didn't like it that she was gone for this long, he really wanted to find her. Instead, he found something else. This area was usually guarded by the Land Dragons but ever since the chaos Gaea had been through with the Destiny War, they were rarely seen. This place reminded him of when the castle was burned down, but this wasn't that. This place had been abandoned for many generations, but it still looked all the same. Debris always looked the same. Folken had met him after the city burned down, and all of this just reminded him of stuff he didn't want to think about. In the corner of his eye, he noticed a dark shadow come into view and heard the sound of fluttering wings. "Folken!" he shouted, turning around weapon drawn. There was nothing there. Maybe it was just a bird. _You idiot, your brother is dead. He died honorably. Put away that sword! _He thought to himself, _Just put it away._

"Wait, Van. Are you sure?" he heard a voice, but none was around. Was it his?  
"You should never turn your back on your enemy. Lord Van."  
At once, he dropped to his knees feeling intense pressure all over his body. A burning pain crept inside his skin, sweat drops gravitating towards the old white-washed tiled ground. "Th-this iss.."  
"Bloodlust."

The black pendant resonated into a dark midnight blue glow and pressed itself onto Van's chest. It grinded, boring its way down into his heart. It felt cold. Very, very cold. The black crystal directed a dark beam of light upwards interlocking with a red shine; a dark blood-red shine. Van turned around and glared at the figure who stood before him. He spat out blood and hugged his stomach in pain. Who was this man? He had...  
"You've noticed my wings, Van Fanel? You're correct," Denieos said, flapping the dark red feathers. Van agonized in pain and Denieos grinned in enjoyment. "What did you expect would happen when two Atlantean Stones pulsating the same killing intent resonate together?" Van was sweating drops of blood now, the pain was actually tearing at his soul. "You crave it, Van. War. That flaming passion is written all over your face, heard inside your screams. I've gotten past this pain, you won't believe how wonderful it is." Denieos touched the red pendant around his neck and that sent Van flying onto his back, writhing in agony. "Y-You–" Van said, blood coming out of his mouth.

"I am Denieos, last of the true Atlanteans. And this..." he said, raising his arm sending Van into a violent spasm, "Is the true power of one's wishes as a weapon. What made Atlantis great. Show me your wings, Fanelia. What the form of a worthless half-breed looks like." Denieos extracted Van's wings out of his back by force and his blood settled into the white feathers. Van coughed, trying to find his breath and also something to say. "Disgusting color!" Denieos said, throwing Van back onto the ground summoning away his wings. After flailing about in pain, Van finally stood to his feet and unsheathed his sword, rage building inside his eyes.  
"Oh-ho! Angry, Lord Van?" the haughty Atlantean asked.  
"I'll kill you!" Van replied, blade pointed at Denieos' heart.  
"Is that your wish? It's far too weak."

Van charged at Denieos without hesitation and to his surprise, the tip had actually penetrated through some of his enemy's skin. "Why are you here?" Van shouted, making no sense about anything that was going on. "To finish what Dornkirk started, and to fulfill the final desire of our race."  
"Final desire?"  
"Destiny, Van. Everything that is created must eventually be destroyed, don't you agree? Destiny is never yours alone."

"You can't change fate! I've already tried!" Van yelled, still flinching in pain.  
"Already tried? What **is** your desire, then? Of course you can change your fate, stupid half-breed. Bastard child. Destiny is always entwined with those around you. Your choices can either change theirs or even yours." Van looked at him confused, but interested. If there was a way he could change fate just like Hitomi, he would.

"Listening? Good. Atlanteans created this useless world as a tribute to peace. Their awesome power eventually leaked out into the populace and everyone warred for it. The power WE should have kept and ruled with. That is why we fell, Van. Fools who govern by peace and never use the mighty strength they are given SHOULD fall." There was complete silence after that sentence, he wanted the words to sink into Van's thick-headed skull. "So then, to gain our power back, this pathetic realm called 'Gaea' must go away. Forever. Sadly though..." he grabbed Van by his neck and lifted him off the ground. "I don't have the Key." he squeezed tighter. "But you do. The Key to open the Door between realms. Escaflowne. He's a grand armor, a relic of our past. The only problem is..."

Denieos slammed Van's head into a cracked wall. "To forge their lore on both worlds, they consummated together with humans and Atlanteans. A new race was born, as a symbol of stability between the two of them. Half-breeds. Worthless creatures. Only their impure blood can awaken Escaflowne and unlock the Door. And ultimate power." The black pendant around Van's neck shone at those words and alluded to his intentions. Denieos laughed. "Does the temptation of that ultimate power control you, Van? Consume you? That crystal around your neck is screaming for it; for it to be used the way it should." Van's eyes widened at the very thought. He couldn't deny the fact that he had been attracted to this strength, especially now. Not to mention the mysterious apperance of one who claimed to be the last of the 'true' Atlanteans.

Van dropped to the ground and within an instant, he brandished his sword and jabbed it into Denieos' throat. "No man, no beast, and no power can control me," he said, lunging forward.  
"Of course not, that's why I can clearly see that murderous intent inside of your eyes."  
Van was taken aback at first and taken completely off guard, but when he came to his senses to shut the fool up, nobody was there and his sword rested inside of the ancient wall. He moved his palms upwards on the hilt to remove his weapon, but it felt freezing cold. _Again. _"No power controls me!" he said, grasping Hitomi's black crystal.

* * *

Ever since her reading, Hitomi tried to figure out what happened. Did she really tell Van to back off? Did she really have all of those dark temptations and passions inside of her? As soon as that spare card touched the Lovers, she knew something felt strange; she just had no clue what it was. And no desire to, until now. She shook off the thought real quick and continued her walk in the mall. Whenever she either had a bad day or couldn't think, she would always go here. Which was quite often, usually. Most of the time she'd hang around with Yukari here, but she didn't even know where Yukari was. Everytime she tried to call, the operator would tell her that the number was non-existant. With enough crap on her mind, she turned off her cell and tried her best to think of something else. Yukari was probably fine, anyways. Chances were that she just had her phone off during a date with Amano. She would do the same. And much, much more. Again, she shook her head to throw out those crazy ideas, but it was a lie to say that a part of her didn't actually want them.

Hitomi doubted that she still held the power to control one's fate. That was such a stupid idea, anyways. Gaea was a magical world, so of course her visions would play some role there. It was another time and another place. However, she _did_try recently and part of her desperately longed for it. She felt like she was slowing digging deeper and deeper into her soul and unearthing her darkest secrets and desires. Some she didn't even know about, but those only made them all the more appealing. Whatever was happening, she wanted more of it. A LOT more of it. She walked head down, unaware of her surroundings with all of the thoughts swarming around her head. Maybe she was controlling her destiny, maybe somebody else was. With all of this turmoil going on in her mind, she accidentally bumped into a stranger. A stranger?

"Woah there, girl! Slow down, okay? This isn't the track field." Hitomi looked up and discovered that she was being held in the arms of Amano and blushed turning her face away, but not relieving herself of his touch. "Amano? What are you doing here?" she said in a voice barely above a whisper, amazed that he had already stole her breath. Or was it her thoughts of him? Yes, _those_ thoughts.  
"What am I doing here? It's a public place, why shouldn't I be here?" With Hitomi still in his arms, he pulled her closer to his chest and tightened his arms around her waist.  
"A-Amano..." Hitomi said red in the face and enthralled by his looks, his body, oh that body...  
He moved her in even closer so that now theirs chests met and rested on top of each other. Her heart raced tremendously fast. The only other person to hold her like this was "Van."  
"Who?" Amano asked.

"Oh, nobody..." Hitomi answered kind of distant and shocked she even denied it. She brought her arm up to his hair and ran her fingers through it, but then she pushed away escaping from his hold. This wasn't right, she knew this wasn't right. She loved Van, she knew she loved Van, but now... Something inside of her cried out for more even though she fought against it.  
"Where's Yukari?" she finally said.  
"Who's Yukari? Amano asked. Just then, reality set in.

_Be careful what you wish for, Hitomi, _she heard a very quiet and soft-spoken voice whisper into her ears. Her voice.

"Who's Yukari? What do you mean 'who?' She's my best friend! And your girlfriend!"  
"Girlfriend? I don't know who she is. Are you feeling okay, Hitomi?" He stroked her cheek and surprisingly (although not really), she placed her hand overtop of his.  
"Of course I'm okay!" she nervously said, "At least... I think I am..."

_Careful what you wish for, Hitomi._

He pulled her into himself again and she showed no signs of disagreement. They were close together now, too close. Any closer and he'd...

_Hitomi..._

Amano closed in and met his lips with hers. It was a long passionate kiss and without her noticing, she engaged along with him. She wanted him to stop, but it felt so good. So intoxicating. Hot. For a second, nothing else mattered and nobody else existed. It was all she thought it'd be and then some. That is, until he was finished. Tears streamed down her face, washing away parts of her make-up. She now knew what that blank card meant, and the others too. She had made Amano forget about Yukari somehow, but with this next kiss that Hitomi going to give him, Amano would never forget about her.

_What are you doing, Hitomi?_

Hitomi shoved Amano up against a wall in the store, alerting the attention of many customers around them. They were all watching. Good.

_Hitomi!_

She forced her mouth on his and kissed him with great intensity. She could see the Devil card rise into her mind, but that only excited her, like she was drawing dark energy from it. She left Amano breathless, speechless, and very pleased.

_Hitomi, what have you done?_

"Shut up! Who cares?" she thought to herself, combating her own warnings. "If these desires feel SO incredible when fulfilled, I'll keep having them."

Hitomi gave a seductive smile and fondled Amano. " And Van, for all I care.._._" she thought, giving into her cravings and dark fantasies, "You and Yukari can just stay worlds away."


	4. Chapter 4

**Nightmare Four: The Drowning**

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Hitomi's fling last night was nothing short of outstanding. She had him in her arms and shoving him up against the wall in the heat of the moment was wild. She could never kiss Van like that because Merle was constantly in the way, but he had captured her nonetheless. He made her feel loved alright, but _this_ was on a totally different level. She was feeling hot. Sexy. She still had no idea as to whether or not the cards played a role in her decision or something else. Maybe even somebody else. She changed her fate before, but could not shake Van out of her head. He was getting annoying, and not in the: "Hey! Stop it, silly!" way either. It was more like her screaming as loud as she possibly could, "Just leave me the hell alone!"

Her reading had definitely revealed to her all of her hidden fantasies and they were so wild and now she felt so wild; like an untamed lion. What was even better was that Yukari had been forgotten by everybody except for her. Or was it? True, all of her dreams were coming together but Yukari was her best friend. How could she forget or betray her? Well after what she did, 'betray' was the least it could be called. Perhaps all of her dreams were colliding together into nightmares, ruining everything. Still though, if this is what it felt like to be 'ruined', then she'd tear down the entire building. It was unclear if that this was in fact her destiny or her decision, she had changed destiny before so it could have even been a combination of both her longings and fate. Despite what was going on, and for whatever reason, Hitomi was diving in with all her soul and didn't care if she drowned.

"Hey baby!" she said over the phone to Amano, wrapping the shower towel around her. "You up for another round?"  
"Ha! Another round? Is that all I'm good for?" he said, teasing her.  
"Hmm... Well I don't know, maybe? That was HOT yesterday. Wouldn't mind doing that every day," she twirled around and made herself look enticing, even though Amano couldn't see her. "And if you're lucky... Maybe something hotter." She made sure that she sounded as provactive as she could over the phone before hanging up. Something hotter? Did she really mean that? As if she **would!** Ha! As if she **wouldn't.** What about Van, though? She was falling fast into her forced destiny and completely loving it, but Van was still on her mind. _Shut up, Van. Please, just shut up already!_

_

* * *

_

Van thought he heard his name in a far off distance and looked around the forest. Nobody. He was still on edge after his encounter with Denieos, so maybe all of his senses were still heightened. He hadn't been this exhilarated in a fight in a long time; since his battle with Dilandau. He could still picture it in his mind, too. There he was in his Guymelef Escaflowne standing above the already battle-worn Adonis. Escaflowne's sword was drawn and he only needed one final blow to end his enemy's life. He almost fell into the black at that point; he would have if it wasn't for Hitomi. She called out to him and broke his trance allowing him to escape the dark. Now it all seemed so familiar just like it did back then, but he was actually giving in to the idea this time. "Ultimate power." he spoke aloud, holding the necklace in his hands. He had stayed out in the forest the entire night exhausted. Pain was no problem for him, he had felt a lot of it in his life and at times even enjoyed it because it only made him stronger in battle. This had been different, however. Denieos cut right into his soul and it was something he had never felt before. Amazing. Painful. Perfect. Basically every sense had been triggered throughout his body when the two crystals resonated with each other.

The one he carried was now continually producing a black flame inside of its casing. He could literally see a moving fire within the crystal, but it was cold to touch. The memory of Hitomi came back into his head and he could see her crying, wanting him to stop the fight before he killed Dilandau. He probably would _have_ it she didn't stop him. She was coming back inside his head now because for the second time, the temptation of a dark power captured his fancy. "Yeah, but you aren't here to stop me this time," he said, regretting the fact. He could not understand it at all, even though his thoughts had been constantly on Hitomi these past few weeks, she seemed a lot more distant now. Every time he would think of her was like another distance apart. Well, there was that _one_ obvious distance, but still, why did he hear a screaming voice come out of her pendant? Eternal love was just so easy to claim when you can see the person, but after such a short time as two years when that person isn't even there, it starts to sound less and less possible. To him at least that kind of logic made plenty of sense and now he felt himself caring less about Hitomi. He knew that was her voice shouting through the stone, so why should he even bother? He could feel something else going on, like a twist of fate but he couldn't quite place it. That didn't happen anymore, ever since Dornkik was killed by Folken.

_Destiny is never yours alone, Van,_ Denieos' voice echoed in his head. Was his destiny actually being guided by someone else or was he guiding his own? The necklace felt heavier now, twice its original weight. He knew that if he kept wishing to get stronger, that stone would only become heavier and make him fall but just like Hitomi, he was beginning to drown under his own temptations. Lost in thought, Van almost didn't hear the sounds coming from behind him. When they met his ears, he turned around to see a delightful surprise; Merle was coming into the castle with another woman, walking side by side. "Merle!" Van said overjoyed that she had finally returned. He was stunned at first to see another young woman by her side, and especially at what she was wearing. Van's attention was momentarily focused on Yukari, but he snapped out of it within a few seconds. "Merle! Who is she? Looks like she's from–"  
"The Mystic Moon, yes Van," Merle answered timidly. She wanted to slice her tongue off before she said her next sentence, but it came out all the same. "And she knows Hitomi..."  
"Hitomi?" Van shouted in surprise.

"Merle, what's wrong?" he asked after noticing her speech and manner was that of a frightened mouse. A Cat acting like a mouse? Something was up. "Merle?" She was still silent, refusing to even look at him which was very rare because by now she would have had jumped on top of him and licked him a good number of times. He walked up to her and she actually stepped backwards away from him. Yukari, watching the entire scene play out, was beyond confused. Wasn't this Van guy the 'good guy'? Whatever they were doing, she knew better than to engage in the conversation.  
"Merle? What's wrong?" he stepped closer. She cringed and shouted, "Stay away! You... You... Won't attack me, will you?" the tears were still in her eyes.

"Attack you?" _Merle, if you ever get in my way again..._ He recalled directing his sword at Merle inches away from her face. Definitely wasn't something a brother would do. _Just a brother, Van? _He hung his head in shame remembering what he had done. "No, Merle. I will never attack you again. I was startled while still thinking about the fight. No excuse, Merle. That shouldn't have happened." He opened up his arms and wrapped them around her, something he hadn't done in a long time. "Do you forgive me?"  
"Oh Lord Van! Of course I will!" she said ecstatic that Van was back to his old self. Since his arms were already around her in the form of a hug, she didn't have to cling as a response to his words. She was actually calm now, maybe even blushing, she didn't know. She lifted her arms up and gave him a hug back. Van had let go but Merle still held him tight and everytime Van tried to push her off she put him in a stronger vice-grip. "MERLE!"

She looked at him and just laughed. "Oh, I'm sorry Van. It helps to breathe, doesn't it?" she said with her face beaming with joy. Van rolled his eyes but was still happy Merle had made it back to the castle safely. Yukari was getting a bit impatient. "Umm, hello?" she said annoyed but also still very uncertain on what to make about this situation or any of the others she had recently been through. "Oh! Yeah, and who are you?" Van greeted. He found himself looking at her again, trying to figure out why someone would wear such strange clothing. "What are you looking at, Lord Van?" Merle threatened getting jealous already. "Yeah! What **are** you looking at _Lord_ Van?" Yukari repeated mocking him. Van blushed. "What? No! It's nothing like that!" A few seconds of awkward silence passed until Van spoke his next few words. "So, you know Hitomi?"

* * *

"You really hate that woman, don't you? Denieos smiled at Dilandau.  
"Hate? Far more than that! I despise her! She's the reason Zaibach fell!"  
"She's the reason? No, you were just weak. Her wish is strong even now."  
"Even now? She isn't here! How?" Dilandau was now getting irritated, although that was never hard to do.  
"How? She has more influence on Gaea than she realizes. Especially over Van. I can tell he's confused and vulnerable. It won't be too long before he comes around. And as for her..." Denieos displayed a wide grin, "She'll be our catalyst. Her unique power to see the future and change her own outstands me, I can feel the darkness in her soul. She's probably the only one left besides me who possesses this power and she's just a lowly human."

For all this time, those two and the small army with them hadn't seen any battles and Dilandau craved for blood. "What do you expect us to do with this many people? And I'm so thirsty..."  
"Thirsty? Well then, I have the perfect mission for you. Remember that column of light a few weeks back? I'm sure that person is somehow connected to Hitomi. Capture her and burn down the city if you have to."

"Oooooooooooh!" Dilandau smirked. "So, where is this vile woman?" his hand clutched the hilt of his sword.  
"Heh. I've been following Van very closely. Currently she's in Fanelia but if we burn down that city, he'll never come around. We need another place to prove how awesome our power is and force him to grab it to defend his own nation. I'll make it so that she is transported to Astoria."  
"Astoria? So her and Allen Schezar," his eyes twitched in excitement. "Well, well. This will be quite the party. Let's have some fun."

* * *

Hitomi could have sworn that she heard her name being said somewhere close but searching all around only proved to make her look like an idiot. She was on a date with Amano in the Union Square Cafe right there in Tokyo. She had never been here before and everything seemed very fancy and professional. She thought that she'd wear something jaw-dropping for their first date out, although technically their making-out in the mall could have been considered a first date. That was a bit different though, besides, she was only wearing shorts and a T-shirt. Something she always wore aside from her regular school and track team uniform. She was clad in red, from top to bottom. The dress she was wearing had actually been a brand-new buy for her. It was a very tight and short red dress. Any farther and it'd be indecent to wear out in public.

Of course, that's the exact reaction she was aiming for. Her lipstick was also a bright red color and the same with her high heels. The only thing not red were her silver circular earrings. Amano nearly died seeing her like this but after the shock had set in, he presented a sheepish grin. He also dressed up to impress Hitomi but she by far outdid him. He only had the typical tuxedo but Hitomi didn't care. For all she was concerned, he could look hot in about anything. Probably hotter without.

"Hitomi? You looking for something?" Amano asked as he noticed her frantic searching. She focused herself back onto Amano and just smiled.  
"Nah, I just thought I heard my name is all."  
"Heard your name? Who would call your name here?" he said poking fun at her.  
"Hmmm, well I don't know. I'm pretty sure I can name a few boys," she said winking at him.  
"Just a few? I'm surprised the whole world isn't after your beauty," he said, now stroking her cheek and she pressed his hand against it.

"Boy, that was so cheesy but it worked," she gave him a quick kiss afterwards. Just then, she became lost in thought; Amano never acted this way towards her before, why would he now? If this kept up, she'd be completely enamored with him. It was no wonder why Yukari wanted to date him, and every other girl on the campus basically. Yukari. Hitomi changed fate so that Amano would forget about her and even if that was incredibly selfish, she never intended for him to forget about Yukari. _But he did you twit, accept it! _she thought to herself. Could she really go through with this though? Nobody seemed to remember her anyways. Well, that wasn't entirely true. She remembered Yukari and so did her friend's family. Hitomi walked to her house the other day to figure out where she was and tell her about her concern, but her family said that their daughter wasn't home. The story was that she had applied for a college out of country and went to check it out for a few weeks. That sort of made sense, they were getting ready to graduate after all. However, it was very unusual for Yukari or Hitomi to never tell each other even the slightest detail of their life and now she left literally without a trace.

She could acknowledge that her reading had some effect on this, but she still had no idea where her best friend was. She kissed Amano again and told him to wait, she had to leave for a little while. Like any girl does on a date, she entered the ladies restroom and tried to get her thoughts together. It wasn't like she was cheating, right? Amano didn't even remember Yukari, so technically he was still available. And Yukari was nowhere to be seen so she couldn't know about this, either. She was checking out some colleges and there was no way she could take Amano with her, so it would be better if Hitomi got to him first before some other girl. If all of this was true, then why did she feel so guilty inside? This was a huge change for her and she was surprised that she acclimated so quickly, but there was still something piercing her heart trying to warn her. After a minute of frustration she thought she knew what that was; Van. _I thought I told you to leave me alone you jerk!_A jerk? She's the one to talk after stealing her best friend's boyfriend. _Hitomi, I thought I told __**you**__ that it's okay! He doesn't remember her, you're not cheating._

"Heh, even if I was, it's not like Yukari or Van would know about it anyways," she said fixing her short hair in the mirror_. __Are you sure about that one, Hitomi?_ "Yes! Of course I am! I'm positive!"

_Beyond any doubt?  
_"Any doubt? Well maybe just a little..."_  
But it feels good, right?  
_"A whole lot more than that."_  
Then you should go for it. All the way.  
_"All the way?"_  
You might as well, girl. He's practically asking for it by now anyways._

Hitomi straightened her dress and made sure it was fixed to do the job it was designed for, reapplied her make-up and walked out the door.

* * *

Yukari was still exhausted from her abnormal trip but she heard her name echo inside her mind and tried to find out where it was coming from. Nothing. Well, she was still a bit freaked so it was understandable that she'd still be on high alert and nervous. If being transported here against her will wasn't enough, it seemed that everybody she had met thus far kept asking about Hitomi. "Yeah, sure. Just keep asking me questions about my home and best friend that I was just taken away from. That'll help me cope with the stress," she said to herself almost silently. After she told them what she could, Van told his servants to give her new clothing and find the most extravagant guest bedroom; she was a friend of Hitomi, and that earned his respect. Yukari had no idea what was going on, but at least she could now feel safe and was finally out of her old clothes. She was feeling pretty awkward wearing that in front of anyone except for Hitomi. Not even Amano was allowed to see her in such short clothing. He probably would have a few years down the road, however.

She was now dressed in something that was almost good enough for a princess, but it was such an odd design. The top half of it was worn like a long sleeved shirt and the bottom like a skirt. The outfit was a beautiful mixture of blue and white and was surprisingly comfortable to wear and walk around in. She crashed onto her new bed and gazed at the wonderfully carved ceiling and ornate chandeliers. She closed her eyes and was about to take a quick rest to regain her strength when she heard a soft tapping at her bedroom door from the other side. "Umm, it's okay? You can come in..." she replied, still very shaken up from the whole life changing ordeal. Her eyes widened as the person stepped into her room.

"You're beginning to look like a princess already, Milady," Allen said taking a bow.  
"Amano!" she said silently to herself. This man looked exactly like him. Uncanny, even.  
"Are you ready?"  
"Ready? For what?"  
"Oh, my apologies. King Van has decided to move you over to my country to keep safe."  
"Okay... Do you... Do you know me?" she asked, almost certain this man was Amano.

Allen paused for a moment and then just shrugged his shoulders. "Know you? I know that you're a friend of Hitomi which makes you a friend to us all, but I don't know you all that well."  
"I don't know you!" Amano's voice screamed into her ears and mind. "Oh, really?" she said acting all depressed. So that was it, then. This man looked a lot like Amano, but he wasn't. Why did she continue thinking about Amano anyways? He yelled at her over the phone breaking his promise by saying he didn't even know her and now she was far, far away. "Just... go away." Yukari told Allen, starting to cry. She didn't want to be reminded of that phone call but now it was too late, it would never escape her memory. She sank her head into her hands and cried, drowning in sorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

**Nightmare Five: Such a Burning Passion**

Denieos looked to the sky and set his vision on the Mystic Moon. "Your wish is becoming very dark, Hitomi; and your soul is still heavily bound to Van's. The black Stone around his neck is proof enough of that. Extend your reach Hitomi. Go as far as you can to fulfill the destiny you created. For both Gaea and Earth as well. You're almost there..."

* * *

"What did you say?" Yukari snapped at Allen, still mad at him for some reason.  
"Oh, we're almost there," he responded giving her a smile.  
"Good! I want out of this bloody carriage!" Yukari was still very upset and part of her even believed that this Knight was Amano. The ride had been brutally long from Fanelia to Astoria and they were still traveling the dirt road. Allen had decided that a stranger would feel better inside a carriage instead of flying around in a Levi-ship. At this point however, the latter may have been a much better idea. He saw that she was sweating and eyes shifting everywhere looking for some type of escape.

"Yukari? How are you feeling?" he asked very concerned, thinking that her recent arrival still had her drained.  
"How am I feeling? I'm pissed off, okay? I got zapped here in the middle of the night **against** my will and..."  
"Yeah?"  
"You lied to me Amano! Don't even know WHY I'm still in this thing with you!" Yukari held her tongue.  
"Amano, is it?" Allen said laughing. Yukari was now red in the face.  
"What are you laughing at you sleez? Just back off and leave me alone, okay?"

Allen, knowing that this conversation was becoming very hostile, took a deep breath and exhaled. "Interesting. That was the name of the man Hitomi spoke of when she came here. At the time, she had no idea that you liked him. He must be some guy, huh?" he touched her shoulder, but she actually threw it off and bit his hand. "Shut up! How can you even say that after lying to me? Breaking my heart and everything! I had fallen madly in love with you! I should **kill** you or something!"  
"Yukari, please. Calm yourself down. I am not Amano. I'm just Allen Schezar." She frowned at him still in disbelief, but began to rethink about what was going on. "But you look exactly like him! This some type of sick parallel universe?"  
"Yukari, no two people look the same unless if they are born that way. I may appear similiar to this 'Amano', but I am not this man."

Yukari did notice that the two had differences, but Allen's appearance still reminded her of Amano.  
"Yeah, well... I still don't like you," she told him making a fist. Allen remained silent and just shrugged. He was only trying to be nice to her, give her proper respects because of Hitomi and he had no intentions whatsoever to make a mistake like he did with Hitomi ever again. Ever since he saw his beautiful sister Celena murdered in front of his very eyes by the Zaibach empire, he tried to fill that hole in his heart with another. Her death was gruesome at least. He still had nightmares seeing her severed body on the floor with her blood pooling all around her. Even with Marlene, even though that love was forbidden, it was a memory he could not shake. That's why Millerna reminded him of her. It took him a while, but he was finally able to let go of all of that and was happy that Millerna had finally found true love and happiness in the arms of Dryden. Hitomi taught him many things about desires and futures and after all of the mayham, he wasn't about to walk through that door again. The horses finally stopped at Astoria's lovely gates and Allen exited out first, opening the door for Yukari. Annoyed, she closed her door and walked out on his side of the carriage in protest; she didn't care if this man wasn't Amano, he looked similiar enough to be him and that alone earned her hatred.

She brushed him off and walked far ahead of him into the city even though she had no idea where she was going. Noticing this, she stopped and waited for Allen to guide her to the location, annoyed and angry that she had to even admit that she didn't know where she was. "Just shut your mouth and show me where to go, okay?" Allen sighed and did the best he could to guide the young lady to the castle where they'd both meet up with Millerna and Dryden. Yukari scowled at him the entire walk and wished that she could look at someone else; someone who didn't remind her of a lying playboy.

* * *

"Van, I love you," Hitomi said, reaching out to grab his hand while they were close together on his bed.  
"Hitomi, I've never felt anything like this before; not even with Merle. I am in love with you. So much so that I can't stop thinking about you! I want you, Hitomi. I just want you to stay here with me and only me. Forever."

* * *

Van recalled that night with Hitomi two years ago and all of its majestic splendor. She had already been on Gaea for a little over a month, but he had fallen for her. Of course, that was a very foreign idea and feeling for him, being battle-ready almost his entire life and finding no reason or logic for emotions other than the ones displayed in battle and those of honor and protection. Companionship was needed too, but he was always cold since his childhood. That night however, was when everything changed. This was the first time he loved someone in this manner, the only person that could come close was his mother and father but this love was obviously different, unusual. He loved her and now he could love all of her, every single part. No one else had ever seen her like this and it was beautiful. She was beautiful. It was a very special night, a night that had been reserved for him and only him. Their heated passion that night only left them with newfound love that was supposed to last an eternity.

He had always scoffed and laughed about the absurd idea of a 'true love' whenever the bards sang of it. Love wasn't for a warrior like himself, he had to focus all of his studies and time into combat, not with some woman who'd hassle him with stuff he never knew or cared about. Hitomi was different. She blew him out of whatever shell he encased himself around and replaced it with her own body. They gave themselves to each other on that night and ever since then, Van still felt connected with Hitomi even if she was far away, but now he didn't know what to think. He heard her voice telling him to back off and her pendant changed to black, trying to pull her memory out of his mind. For some reason, it felt like she didn't want any part of him and he didn't know why. He was also beginning to care less about her but it didn't make any sense; she was still engraved into his mind and would always have a very special part of him.

When Merle heard about Van's sending Yukari to Astoria, she was curious and wanted to know why. She ran to his door and bursted inside the room to only find him sitting upright on his bed head down to the floor lost in memories. She knew exactly what was going on, but desperately wanted to ignore it. "Hey Lord Van," she said, climbing up onto his bed and latching herself onto his back.

"Where's Yukari?"  
"Hey Merle. Yukari? I sent her away to Astoria to be protected. She reminds me of Hitomi and..."  
"Lord Van!" Merle shouted, punching him and jumping off of the bed. Van didn't register her punch and he was still lost in his memories.  
"I'm confused, Merle. Not myself. This pendant around my neck is all I have left of her and... I can't take it off. It won't let me. **I** won't let me."  
"Van, this isn't like you..." Merle couldn't take it anymore, she hated how depressed Van had been ever since Hitomi left. Merle was also angry that Van had never noticed her blatant advances. Why was she always the one left out? She had always loved Van, but he ignored her and went straight to Hitomi. Hitomi still had him even now, but she was so far away. She decided that this was her only chance and she had to take it. In the very least, she needed closure and not being able to tell him how she felt all these years hurt like nothing else; such a terrible pain she couldn't describe. She had to know, she wanted him to say those words. She gulped and looked at him timidly, but immediately perked up and went for it.

"Van, you know I love you, right?" There. She said it. Now she had to wait for his response.  
"Well yeah, of course you do Merle," Van agreed, totally unaware of what she actually meant.  
"No! I mean I LOVE you!" she said blushing and holding her arms to her face.  
"Merle?" Van said, worried if she was falling ill.

Her tail stood on end and had her arms at her sides staring at Van in annoyance. "Get a clue already, Lord Van! Nobody knows you better than I do! HOW many times have I clung to you? I've even licked you! But I've never been able to..." Merle lowered her head and looked at the floor, "...Kiss you."  
"But I–"  
"Still love Hitomi, right?"  
"I don't know, Merle! No matter how hard I try, I can't forget that beautiful night we shared together! She was it, Merle. I wanted to spend my entire life with her. All of her." He paused for a moment before continuing to speak, "But now it is totally strange, I feel like she's fading away from me but I can't shake her out of my head. Part of me wants to move on, but another is still lying there with her in the bed. I can't forget something like that..." Van hung his head and Merle saw that his cheeks were red from embarrassment and also from his reminiscing. This only made her more frustrated than she already was.

"Yes you can!" she yelled, not really believing it herself. "Who is it, Van? Hitomi or me? I can't... I can't keep fantasicing about you in my dreams if when I wake up you're still there holding **her** hand! They feel so good when I dream but when I'm awake it's like you're..." Merle was trembling and crying at this point, barely able to keep her voice steady without it screeching. "It's like you're worlds away even when you're standing right there in front of me!"

Now she was distraught and very afraid. She had just confessed her love to him finally after all this time and now he stood there looking at her in bewilderment like she was a total stranger. She couldn't take the pressure much longer. "Say something!" she cried with a very raspy voice and tear-filled eyes. Van studied her and couldn't believe that she felt this way for so long. He always thought of her as a sister and one can't kiss their sister. He remained silent processing all of this new information, it was quite a shock especially since he was starting to lose Hitomi.  
"Lord Van..."

He finally came to his senses. "Merle, you've always felt this way? I never knew."  
"Never knew? I couldn't have been more obvious unless if I had..." Her entire face blushed madly which only made Van feel more out of place. He did feel sorry for her, however. He held his childhood friend close in his arms with a friendly hug hoping to console her, and he had no idea what else to do. He was never good in delicate situations like these. She grabbed onto him like they were falling off a cliff and hoping for rescue. If they were falling, she wanted him to spread his gorgeous wings and fly her away. Far, far away.

"Merle, I can't stop thinking about her," he said, trying his best to 'break it easy.' It was true he couldn't stop thinking about her, but now those thoughts were all scrambled; something told him that Hitomi was choosing her own path and taking someone else along down that road instead of him. Still hugging, Merle clenched tighter. "It's been two years, Van! Just shut up about her! She's gone! You even said so! But I'm still here, dammit! I'm even in your arms right now!"

He couldn't turn back, now. He couldn't even let her go, but he didn't know what to say. He couldn't return her feelings in this way, to him she'd always be his little sister. "Merle, thank you for finally telling me how you feel." She grinned after hearing him say this. "But Merle, I can't. I love you, but I only love you as a sister."

The shock of his statement left her breathless, she didn't even know what she should be feeling: rage, sadness, joy... She was an emotional wreck. She forced all of her doubts back into her mind, trying to believe something she had always longed for.  
"Of course you can! I love you! And I know that you love me too, Van! So here it is!" She pulled Van close to her and landed a kiss on his mouth. It all happened so fast that Van didn't know how to react or even have the time to react. It was so awkward, and he pushed her away gently, trying to get out of it. When Merle finally realized this, she knew right away that she had made a terrible mistake; she had finally gotten that kiss she wanted for many years but it was worthless now. It didn't feel right, not at all, something she thought wouldn't happen once her lips met his. There wasn't anything in that kiss, it was literally like kissing her own brother and now she heard everything Van had tried to tell her.

She looked at Van and could actually see pain in his eyes, the kind that was screaming out saying, "Merle! What have you done? I tried to tell you! I didn't want you to feel this way!" She turned her back to him and sobbed. "V-V-V..." she couldn't even speak his name between breaths. He walked up to her and turned her around trying to tell his best friend that everything was still okay. She shrieked and scrambled away from him. "I...I forced myself...hic... on Lord Van... hic... He tried to tell me and I... I..." With tears streaming rapidly down her face, she rushed out of his room in agonizing pain. This was her fault. Van was trying to tell her, but she wouldn't listen. She hadn't listened to him for years. What kind of sister would do that to her brother anyways?

* * *

Yukari was brought forward to the thrones of Millerna and Dryden. Allen guided her there and signaled for her to bow on her knee as a sign of respect. She did no such thing. Why should she? She didn't even know or much less care who they were. Out of a sense of honor, Allen force Yukari down so she also could bow. She wanted to kill him right then and there, she never even gave him the right to touch her. She was about to threaten him when Queen Millerna jumped ahead of the conversation.  
"So Allen, this is the girl from the Mystic Moon? She's kinda cute, just like Hitomi," Millerna winked at Yukari and that enraged her even farther. Who were these people and why was she being looked at like some kind of weirdo? "Yes my Lady. She's the one," Allen responded gracefully. Yukari had enough and refused to be silent while everyone around her was talking about her like she was a rarity or freak. "SHE? Stop talking about me like you know me! You **don't** know me!" _Of course not, Yukari. Remember? He's the one who said it..._

"It's like everyone here treats me like I'm an outcast or something! I don't even wanna be here!" She screamed standing up and pointing her finger directly at Millerna.  
"Yukari, that is no way to address the Queen of Astoria. The King as well. Be more civilized," Allen warned her. She slapped Allen's face, something she had wanted to do since she saw him.  
"Like I even care! She's not MY Queen! And by the way, just so you know, I was dragged to this stupid planet against my will! All you losers keep talking about Hitomi so she's obviously been here before! Honestly! What's the big deal?" she stood there panting out of breath from the recent outburst. She was usually a lot more reserved than this, but such a life changing event would have probably made anyone act exactly the same way she did. The guards drew their swords preparing for Yukari's assumed attack and Allen reached for his in defense. Dryden, who had been silent the entire time, stood up and motioned for everyone to put away their weapons. "Yukari, is it? Believe it or not, I'll have to agree with you." Yukari's head jolted backwards in amazemenet.

"You have every right to be angry after what had happened to you. Hitomi was also here, that's true, but it's not like this happens every day. The Mystic Moon or 'Earth' has always been connected to Gaea in many unknown and mysterious ways. By your coming here it means there's a reason for it. Whether it be for the benefit of Gaea or her ruin."  
"Well this isn't beneficial for me at all, if you haven't caught that hint yet. And as If I could ever bring a world to ruin. What a stupid idea."

At that very instant, the castle walls exploded surrounding the insides with flame. It was as if Yukari had set off a time bomb by saying those words, the timing was just way too perfect. Dazed with a massive headache, Yukari searched the room only to find that she was on the floor bleeding; just like everyone else. She was on her side and couldn't move forced to see the horror of guards and servants around her running in circles trying to put out the fire that was swallowing them whole. The attack happened so fast that nobody had the time to instinctively shelter or protect her, or anyone else for that matter. In excrutionating torment, she looked around hoping to find somebody alive. The sight was hideous, fire and blood all around. She coughed and gasped for air when she saw Millerna on the floor, blood pooling underneath her body. Before Yukari's vision faded, the last thing she saw was a bloody gore-covered bone sticking out of her leg. "Hi-Hitomi..."

* * *

"I want to move on too, Merle," Van said to himself, unable to look away from the door where Merle ran out from. "It's... I can hear her screaming at me telling me to just fade away but how can I forget her? I think that I still..."  
"I hate you, Van."  
"What?" he thought he heard her voice in his thoughts and felt a sharp puncture to his heart as it was echoing her words.  
"You heard me, Van. I said that I hate you." _Although you probably can't hear me anyways._

_

* * *

_

Hitomi pushed Amano onto the couch and jumped on top of him. They were alone at his house. It was the typical high-school girl fantasy where her boyfriend is all alone with no one to bug them. His family was out for the weekend so that meant she had him all to herself for the entire time. She could probably get away with anything and she planned to. "I don't want to forget about you, Hitomi." she heard Van's voice ringing in her ears as she was rubbing against Amano. _Van, shut up. I'm trying to get in the mood._ She ran her arm from Amano's chest up to his face and kissed him.

Van looked at the pendant and again at the door Merle ran through.  
"Hitomi, what are you saying?" Van spoke aloud, unable to comprehend why the pendant was reacting and how he was hearing her voice.

Hitomi furiously kissed Amano all over his neck and lips and it irked her that Van's voice had been constantly interrupting her date for the night. She placed her finger on Amano's lips and told him to hush. She curled up close to him and sighed. _Van, can't you see? I've never felt this hot before, even when I was in bed with you. That night was amazing, Van, but now I don't care. You've been gone too long and I don't care what I changed in our destiny._ She stroked Amano's hair and ran her fingers down his chest. _I don't care, Van. I just don't care. This is mine now. _**_HE_**_ is mine now._ She held Amano even tighter._And whatever part of me I left with you doesn't even matter now. Unless if you can come over here and do what he's about to, he'll consume the rest of me._ She caressed his muscles, slowly doing whatever she pleased. _And when he does, Van, then you can just fade away into the back of my mind and stay there!"_

"I want this burning passion so bad that nobody's gonna put this fire out. Not you, not Yukari, not even fate," she whispered softly.

The pendant around Van's neck rumbled and pulled him down straight to the floor. The weight was monstrous and its pain the same. A burning sensation spread throughout his body and rendezvoused right to his heart. He could not even begin to describe the anguish he was feeling right now and when the pain subsided, a loud screaming deafening voice circled all around him. **"STAY AWAY!" **he held his ears but her voice was too loud to be ignored. "This is what you want, isn't it, Hitomi?" he said.  
"Why do you keep asking? Just shut your mouth already. You sound exactly like..."

"Van."

He turned his head to where he thought the sound was coming from still missing breaths from the pain. "Hitomi..."  
"Yeah? Whaddia want? You gonna talk or are you gonna strip? I'm waiting baby."

_And I don't care what happens afterwards. This is it, Van..._

"Well this pretty much proves it. Hitomi, I..."  
_Van, I..._

"Hate you!"  
_Hate you!_

_

* * *

_

"Yes, I hate you too, Lord Van," Dilandau said as he piloted the Adonis to the center of the city, admiring the burning castle.


	6. Chapter 6

**Nightmare Six: To Have and to Hold**

Queen Millerna opened her eyes and immediately winced in horrible pain. She was bound and gagged inside a dirty stone cell onboard a Zaibach Leviship. Her groans of pain were muffled by the rag inside her mouth, but it still hurt all the same. She felt it in her abdomen where a giant bruise had formed. Her medical knowledge was good enough to know that she had internal bleeding around that area. Her regal white dress was tattered and bloodstained from the blast, but most of it remained to provide her with at least some dignity; as much as possible being tied up within an ugly cell. Her pain was crippling and she couldn't remember what happened, where she was, and why she was even there. She twisted all around from the pain and fear of what was going to happen to her. She chouldn't slide out of her ropes and doing so only stretched and burned, giving her even more strain on her wounds.

A soldier clad in black and midnight-blue Zaibach armor entered her cell and the look on her face was shock and fear. "Get up, you little whore," the man said to her, pulling her up by her hair. "Lord Denieos wants to see you."  
Millerna felt like she was being torn asunder. The stretching pain coming out of her hair and the constant pounding in her chest was enough to make her sweat. Her feet were unbound so that she could walk, but the top half of her body around the waist, shoulders, and arms were still tied tightly together with itchy ropes coiling around. She was being led by a leashed collar on her neck and that humilated her to tears.  
"What are you crying for, woman? I can hear your noises from underneath that gag so just silence yourself before I do!" Millerna shut herself in, trying her hardest to refrain from crying. Her suffering was growing intense and it gave her goosebumps all over the skin just to contain it. She was tugged during their walk and at times was even pulled down to her knees. When they finally reached Denieos' seat, she was thrown to the floor right at his feet.

The gag was removed and at his sight, she found it hard to believe. Impossible. "Van?" she asked, catching view of his dark red wings.  
"Van? No, that half-breed is worthless. I am Denieos, the last of the true Atlanteans; and you are on an old Zaibach levi-ship."  
"Zaibach?" she screamed in terror.  
"There are still quite a few of them left yes, but they are no longer in power; I have complete control over their supplies. That is not the reason I brought you here, however." Her pain was still tremendous and her legs squeezed together trying to subdue it. "What for then? And where's my Dryden!"

"Dryden? That fool along with Allen were probably killed in the explosion. Nothing but nuisances, really." He knew that the King was still alive and didn't really care if Allen was or not, but he knew that if he could break Millerna now, it'd be so much easier to use her and toss her aside. He had his own plans with Dryden anyways.  
"**YOU LIAR!" **Millerna screeched. "Where are they? What happened? Show me him! NOW!" Already on the floor, and still bound, she was cringing in sorrow from his words.

"What happened? Show? Very well." Denieos signaled some men and they wheeled in Yukari, who was strapped to a metal bed, having a bone protruding out of her leg cushioned by bloody clothing. She was totally exhausted from the pain and Millerna could tell from her sweating that she would die if she wasn't healed. After that, Millerna then remembered what happened and the screams of absolute horror and suffering came back inside her head along with the burning sensation of the inferno the castle had become. The memories made her scream. She recalled Allen's and Dryden's lifeless bodies crushed by the rubble and seeing Yukari unconscious, lying on the floor with her bloody twisted mishapen leg. Denieos had enough of her wailing and landed a punch onto her face.

"This girl is important to the rebirth of Atlantis, but she is of no use whatsoever in that sorry state. I know of your outstanding medical skill and this is the only reason we left you alive. Fix this girl's leg." Denieos smiled, "But of course... If you'd rather join your husband and your old lover now, that can always be arranged. True, this girl will also die but who cares, right?" Millerna was speechless, Yukari was the friend of Hitomi so she felt compelled to heal her but at the same time she didn't want to. Yukari was apparently the key to something important and these men weren't all that 'friendly.' She was hurting, too. They killed her husband and best friend. She was totally devastated. "Queen, are you going to just lay there and cry and let your friend die?" Denieos said, provoking her.

Millerna snapped out of her trance and tried to swallow her pain. She didn't know if she could do it, her anguish was substantial. "Do it, woman! I don't care how much you hurt!" Denieos yelled, kicking her in the face.  
"Untie me first," Millerna said, giving in to his demands. She had to save Yukari, as a friend of Hitomi, this girl had already won her respect. The soliders undid the knots in her ropes and she stood up slowly, still aching from intense physical and emotional pain. She walked over to Yukari and smiled. She gathered up all the strength she had left to get this accomplished.  
"How you doing, girl?" she asked, hoping to relieve Yukari of some pain with kind words. Yukari remained silent. The agony of her broken leg all this time had been too much. She was running out of energy and sweat drops of blood ran down her face. Millerna knew she had no choice; she couldn't bear the thought of another friend being killed. "Bandages. I need bandages," she told all those around her. She removed the dirty ones that were already on her and received new ones.

The task would be difficult, even for her. She only had make-shift materials and it looked like Yukari's bone needed to be reset. If it had been any closer to the knee, she wouldn't have been able to do it. Still, one false move with the limited resources she had could actually end Yukari's life. Then they would both be killed. She took in a deep breath to calm her nerves as best she could and then exhaled. The breathing hurt, but it helped her focus. "Yukari, your bone needs to be reset. I can do this, but it is going to hurt. I need you to stay still."

Yukari looked at her and scowled. She was **already** still, idiots had strapped her to the cold metal surface.  
"Oh, sorry," Millerna said, realizing it.  
"Just...t.. get it- o-over with, already!" Yukari stuttered. Millerna smiled and positioned her hands on Yukari's leg making sure they were at the right locations and and pressed down a little. The pressure made Yukari squirm, and her eye twitched.

Millerna then forced the bone back into socket and Yukari writhed and screamed in agony. Squeals and shouts of torment escaped her lips and thrashed around, but her restraints kept her in place. Her tears mixed in with her bloody sweat and she wished that she could just die. Millerna wrapped the fresh bandages around the leg and put it inside a cast they were able to produce. Her bleeding slowed around the leg, but that did not comfort her misery. She panted and wheezed, body still trembling from the intense pain. She was completely exhausted and her throat was parched from heavy breathing and screams. She was still crying, gasping for small breaths of air. It was like she had been running on the track field for days without rest carrying along with her that severed leg. Her eyes were filled with extreme sadness and affliction and Millerna had to turn her back and look away.  
"That's a bit gruesome, Queen Millerna," Denieos said smiling. "Effective, however. Take her away. This 'Yukari' is far too weak right now for her to be of any use." The guards did as they were told and Denieos turned to Millerna.  
"Dilandau, take her away also. I don't want to see this half-dead woman again until we reach Fanelia with our good news."

"Dilandau?" Millerna squeeked. He came out of the shadows sword drawn and grabbed Millerna by her neck.  
"Surprised to see me, hot stuff?" He asked with an evil grin. "That was so much fun, Queenie. Killing Dryden and Allen felt just so wonderful. Ahh. Especially Allen. I can remember their pleading faces, begging for mercy and wanting to know if you were still alive."

He looked her up and down. "Ha, well you won't be alive much longer, I'm afraid." Dilandau licked his chops and released his hold on her. She dropped to her knees desolate and broken mourning over the loss of her loved ones. Heart-broken, her physical wounds only made the anguish worse. She had blocked all of it out while she was working on Yukari's leg but now the procedure was complete and her thoughts and emotions couldn't stray from the obvious traumatic realtiy Dilandau revealed in her catastrophe. The pain was so bad that stomach bile was thrown from her mouth. It burned like acid, like she just drank a vial of it and then vomitted it back up again. This happened repetitively and after some long hellish minutes, Dilandau forced her up to her feet. "Pathetic weakling." He recklessly threw her into some soliders and ordered them to take her back down to the cell.

"Denieos, I enjoyed that so very much but why did we injure that worthless woman from the Mystic Moon if we need her? And why capture the Queen instead of the King?"  
"Well you're the one that led the charge and attacked the castle. So technically it's _your _fault. She was needed to heal that girl and she'll have another purpose as well."  
"But why not Dryden?"  
"Because, the King will have much more influence over his people alive with a threat and his wife in our hands. She won't be alive much longer anyways; only using her to awake that idiot Van Fanel. Also, something tells me that Dryden knows a lot more than he shows."

* * *

Van twirled the pendant around his neck wishing for some answer. He had received word that Astoria was attacked and her castle demolished. He sent his Guymelefs and soliders to join the fight, but it was too late; everyone had been killed. He was lucky enough to even rescue Dryden and Allen from the burning wreckage. Surprisingly, their wounds were minor compared to what they could have been. They both had some cuts and burns on their bodies, Dryden had a broken right leg, and Allen's arms were broken as well. Millerna could have put a better splint on them, but since she was nowhere to be found, he used his own doctors to cast them. They were talented physicians, but Millerna was a genius when it came to medical studies. "If I only had Escaflowne..." Van said looking over his two friends lying in their beds. _You are weak!_ Denieos' voice whispered into his ear.  
"The King is never weak. That's why he rules his people," Van said, fighting against the thought.  
_Yes, but without power, he can't be strong. You lack the will to soar to great heights._

"I lack nothing. I will spread these wings to reach that height and gain back my power." The Stone released a black aura above the necklace and for the first time, it felt soothing. He sighed and then shook his head. He had tried many times to take off the necklace but after each attempt it only became heavier. This Stone refused to budge and now he was beginning to enjoy the feel of its dark energy. "No! I'd soon eat my own wings to tame those desires than to be engulfed in that evil torment once more!" He ran his fingers down the necklace and began to pet the Stone. "Still though, the power would be worth the loss..."

"What would be worth the loss, Van?" Dryden asked, awaking from his sleep. A stinging pain shot through his leg. "Ah! What in the... What happened, Van?"  
Van was glad that Dryden's leg forced the subject to another location. He'd rather talk about what happened Dryden instead of talking about what was happening to himself. "Your kingdom was attacked, Dryden. Most everyone in the castle were killed. Only you and Allen were saved." Dryden grabbed Van by the collar of his shirt. "What did you say? Only ones? You fool! Millerna was more important! You should have saved her instead of me! Where is she?"  
"I don't know."  
"What?" the shock left him with none other word.  
"Her body wasn't found. Neither was Yukari's. They're probably..."  
"Hold your tongue, Van! Don't you DARE say it!" Dryden threatened, refusing to believe his wife was actually dead.  
"Dryden, they say that Zaibach attacked. You know how brutal they are!" _Zaibach? Nah, couldn't be. It must have been __**him.**_

Dryden looked at his friend with concern. "Van, there's something you're not telling me. You know more than what you're saying."  
"No I'm not. I guess they could still be alive, but what are the chances of finding them?"  
"Hitomi could," Allen said coughing, rising up in his bed.  
"Yeah? Well I don't care about her anymore. She dropped me first."  
"Is that why her pendant is black?" Van remained silenet and decided to ignore Allen's question. "Van?" Allen asked again.  
"Shut up, Allen. I don't have to tell you anything. She hates me now, why'd you even bring her up?"  
"Well, that Yukari came here. There must be a way Hitomi can too. She had power."  
"Yeah? And it screwed us all up! Changing fate and messing with our lives! She can just... she can just stay where she is and never come back."

"Never come back? What are you talking about, Van? You know far too well that the _both_ of us need her." The Stone glistened a deep purple and dropped him to his knees. Sweat covered his face and he spat out a small amount of blood. The ethereal voice converged as a cloud of red mist and particles combined with it forming as a body. The shadowed figure 'stepped out' of the cloud and revealed his identity. It was like he slashed the air wide open and it bled until he appeared in full view.  
"Denieos!" Van yelled, still grasping his chest on the floor. His vision became dizzy and his head felt like a monstrous hammer had just fallen on top of it.  
"Hello, King of Fanelia. That Stone is still thirsting for blood, I see." Denieos gloated and laughed floating from up above.

* * *

Hitomi sat at the park table with her legs crossed and propped on top of it. She was still in her school uniform with the short skirt and was going meet up with Amano after class had ended. Her pose was quite provocative but as long as he saw her, she didn't really care; especially after what happened the past weekend. She thought Van was the only one but now, Amano was amazing. Even if someone had set the bed on fire, it couldn't have been hotter. She gave herself totally and fully to him and at the same time she also knew that she betrayed both Yukari and Van on that night. For some reason, however, that had only fueled and excited her passion. She was still aware that she had changed fate again and even though it wasn't where she originally wanted it, she wasn't about to leave.

At first, when she did that reading she really wanted Van to come back. All her thoughts and hidden secrets of the heart confused her brain and changed all that up, so part of her _did_ want this. It was confusing but it didn't matter now that she had Amano and forced herself to believe that she hated Van. Maybe that was true, but a night like the one they shared would be impossible to forget. Amano found the table Hitomi was sitting at and joined her. He looked at her exposed legs and raised an eyebrow.  
"What? It's not like you haven't seen them before, lover," she said winking at him.  
"Yeah, but I don't want them to." he told her, pointing at all of the passing people in the park.  
"Hah! So what if they do?" she laughed, spreading her legs out wider, "Probably be more fun that way."  
"You can't possibly mean that, Hitomi," he said with his fist tightening.  
"Hm? Well yeah, I was only messin' with ya, baby. A girl can dream though, can't she?"

The look on Amano's face turned cold. "The only person you're gonna be dreaming about is **me!** Understood? I'll make your life a living nightmare if you don't!" He stood up and threw her off the table by her legs. He knelt down with her and forced his hands on top of her breasts, holding her in place. "You understand me, girl?"  
"Ooh Amano! Role play? In public? That's sexy. You're making me hot."  
"Role play?" He punched her stomach and spit came out of her mouth. He then forced his legs on her pelvis and pushed down hard. "I'm being serious here, Hitomi. You wanted me, you have me. And nobody else will have you!" he smacked her across the face.

Nobody saw this, or they were too scared to do anything about it. Whatever the reason, it was happening and Hitomi was stunned. Could it have been the cards? Was it possible that she had missed part of the reading? She didn't want this, none of her did. This wasn't Amano at all. He had never acted this way to her or Yukari and the both of them knew him for years. Whatever she changed, it had all gone wrong; horribly, horribly wrong. She began to cry looking up into Amano's angry eyes.

* * *

Denieos levitated above the castle floor, flapping his blood-red wings looking below at Van and those around him. "Van! You know this man?" Allen said surprised that Van knew this person by name. "Yes, Allen. He is the final true blooded Atlantean and he's probably the one who attacked Astoria."  
"Oh! So you know, huh Van?" Denieos said floating down until his feet touched the floor.  
"Van! You traitor! You knew about this?" Dryden yelled, getting out of bed and standing on his broken leg with a crutch.  
"Traitor? Never!" Van said, defending himself.  
"Hmm, well I'm not too sure about that one, King," Denieos said mockingly. "You had the chance to stop this all along, but you refused to do anything about it. So in a way, this is all your fault."  
"Van, what is he talking about?" both Allen and Dryden asked.

Van was still bent down, but he managed to stand up and unsheathe his sword. Denieos held out his hand and materialized his black scythe into it. "That Stone telling you to kill me, Van?" he smiled and twirled the scythe around in his hand.  
"Maybe," Van replied clenching the hilt.  
"Then obey it. Discover how envirgating it feels."

Van's hair stood on end and he charged at Denieos, clashing blades together in a dramatic scene. The two forced each other back and forth until Van had Denieos cornered with sword against his neck. "What did you do with Millerna and Yukari?" Van asked pressing the tip of his weapon into Denieos' throat. Denieos pushed Van back and nicked his arm with the scythe.  
"Nobody commands me, Van. Especially a lousy half-breed even if he is a King."

Van shot a scornful look at Denieos and attacked again. Denieos flew around him and pressed his scythe against Van's chest. "You are worthless. You pose no threat to me at all, Van. I'll force you to awaken your dark power." Denieos dissapated and reappeared in front of him and unsummoned his scythe. Denieos spread out his arm and made a circular motion creating a blackish-red portal. "This is the power of one's will, Van." Millerna and Yukari were thrown from the twisted hole and landed on top of each other.  
"Millerna!" Dryden excalimed while Allen was thinking the same thing.  
"Dryden...Allen... you're alive..." she said coughing and cringing from her growing wound. Denieos grabbed her by the hair and lifted her up into the air, flying to the ceiling. Upon seeing this, Van sheltered Yukari in his arms, protecting her from whatever would come next. She blushed, but was too exhausted to know what was going on. She only knew that this man was defending her from the other.

Millerna shook all around, kicking the air with her legs trying to escape. She squealled in pain. "Can you save them both, Van? Without using the power you desire but refuse to touch?"  
"Let her go, Denieos!" cried Dryden, fearing for her life. Denieos ignored him.  
"Fly, Van. Use those ugly white wings and see if you can stain them red."  
Van unfurled his wings and Yukari was breathtaken from the sight; they were so beautiful. He held his sword in both hands and took to the air, rushing to where Denieos was. His sword was aimed directly at his enemy's face and he was going to make the connection. "I'll kill you! This time for sure!"

"You will never," Denieos said, pulling Millerna close to his chest. Van's rage exploded and his sword pierced through flesh, blood splashing onto his wings.  
"Van! What have you done?" shouted Dryden who was in tears. Yukari just sat there, not knowing what to think or even say. Van looked at his target and saw that he had ran his sword through Millerna's stomach along with Denieos'. The Atlantean smiled. "Very good, Van. Your virgin wings are now soiled. I look forward to our next meeting." His body transformed into a black shadow and melded into the air, disappearing from the castle. Millerna remained on his blade for a few seconds until the fresh blood slipped her body off its sharp edge.

She crashed onto the tiled floor leaking a pool of blood from under her. Dryden raced to his wife as fast as his broken leg would allow and held her body in his arms. Allen looked at Van displeased and angry. "Van! You murderer! Traitor!" Van hovered in the air, unable to move from his current position. He was frozen in fear and grief.  
"Millerna! Wake up!" Dryden pleaded holding her head close to his chest. "Answer me! You can't die! We were just recently..." he held her tight and weeped over her dead body. "Married," he said, finishing the sentence. All his memories of her rushed back into his head and some he had even forgotten. It made him smile but now it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He recalled that glorious day when they were finally wed and repeated those words. "To have and to hold..." he wailed in horrible sorrow. "Until... until... Death do us part."


	7. Chapter 7

**Nightmare Seven: Descension and Desire**

Something was pressing hard against Hitomi's heart and mind, but couldn't for the life of her discover what that feeling was. Yesterday at the park was fun, just sitting at the table with Amano and enjoying the sceneary and fresh air, but something was still amiss. It was as if a traumatic even had occured that day and her brain refused to let her remember it. The odd thing was, she knew that she didn't know something. It was burning her, actually eating at her soul and she hated that; she was flaring with anger and frustation. Enough to just rip apart the teddy Amano bought her, but instead she hugged it close to her chest. Looking back at it, she did her best to recollect the events leading up to now. She fell on top of her bed and went into a blank stare looking at her ceiling. She could remember the park in full detail except for certain parts.

She smirked when she noticed Amano looking at her propped legs with a smile. "Settle down there, Cassanova. You can't have me _all_ of the time," she had replied, giving a very sexual turn of the head and a wink. It was a blur after that, but it didn't really matter; that part of the memory was still great. Later on in that evening Amano wanted to take her out for a 'swim' in the ocean and as wonderful as that sounded to her, something was still pushing against her very being nibbling at her thoughts. She was reliving that same moment now and something had to be wrong. No matter how hard she tried, she was not able to determine it and in all honesty it did make her feel a bit vulnerable.  
"Nah, babe. Take me home instead. Mom will kill me if I don't study and if I get bad grades and fail, you won't be able to see me at school or on the track. You're in most of my classes and still run." She stroked his hair and gave him a pat on the head with a beaming smile. "Never see you again? Well if that happened, I'd just have to kidnap you and throw you into the car."  
"Oh really, now?" Hitomi cocked her head and placed a finger on her lip. "Well tie me up first and I'm all yours, baby."

Hitomi rolled over to her side on the bed and fanned herself from just thinking about the memory. She looked at her door and frowned a few seconds later, having the next scene play out in her mind. "Mom says you're late, Hitomi!" her 7 year old brother said shooting foam balls at her. So what if she was out late? Spending the entire day with Amano was worth any punishment. Especially after _that._  
"Shut up, Ichirou! I can do whatever I want, alright?" She grabbed her younger brother and lifted him up. Ichirou was surprised at the strength of his sister. Who would have known that a track runner would have strength like that?  
"Hitomi! Put your brother down!" her mom yelled.

"Yeah, yeah... I was about to anyways. Little punk's too heavy." She threw him down and he stood to his feet looking at his dear sister with confusion.  
"Hitomi! I really hate who you've become this past month! You're always staying out with that Amano and dressing like some kind of hooker being all indecent!"  
_A hooker? Yeah right, mother. I have a lot more respect than that and besides, I don't care what he sees me in._

"Stop smiling, girl! You've changed completely! It's a wonder how you've even managed to keep your grades up. I'm worried about you, Hitomi. I'm afraid that if this continues, you'll wake up in some man's bed confused and regretful!"  
_Heh, well I __**did**__ sleep with him, Mom. You're wrong though, I don't regret it at all. You don't know anything._ "Leave me alone! I'll do whatever I want, Mom! You can't stop me anyways."  
"Oh I can't, huh?" her mom replied with her hands on her hips.  
"Psh. It's not like I'd actually listen. For the first time in my life, I'm feeling hot. Sexy hot. I love it, it's so euphoric."  
"Hot? Ha! Hitomi, you were _always_ ugly!" her brother remarked. Hitomi scowled at him and threatened with a fist in the air.  
"Ichirou, I swear... If you say one more word, I'm gonna kick your ass, so be quiet."

Ichirou grinned and decided to be a wise-guy. "One more word."  
Hitomi raged. "That's it!" She threw a punch across his face and his nose started to bleed. He looked up at his older sister and started to cry. It was then Hitomi felt a small sting in her own face telling her that something very similiar had happened to her earlier that day and she still couldn't quite place it. She pulled back in disbelief of what she just did and her thoughts raced everywhere.  
"Ichi... I... I..." Her brother ran upstairs and locked himself in his room in fear. Hitomi looked at her mother and they both remained silent, still shocked from the event. Hitomi turned towards her mother and spoke softly. "Mom, what just happened? I'm feeling so angry..."  
"What happened? You hit your brother! That's what happened! What the hell is wrong with you?"  
"I don't know! Something's been bugging me making me mad all day!"

"That's no excuse, Hitomi! You know what? That's it! You're grounded for a week, young lady! You're only going to school and the track field. You're lucky I'm even letting you stay on the team!"  
"What did you say?" Hitomi asked fiercely, raising an eyebrow.  
"You heard me, Miss Priss."  
"For a week, huh? Whatever, Mom. I'll just get Amano to take me out of here. I'll take him somewhere too, heheheh."

"What's so funny now, Hitomi?" Natsumi asked, wanting to make sure her daughter had actually understood her situation. Hitomi rolled her eyes and let out a breath.  
"I don't care. Amano's in most of my classes anyways. And he's still a team captain."  
Natsumi squinted. "Yeah? Well that may be true, and I can't stop that but I can do this..." she placed her hand out. "Give me your phone."  
"WHAT? I won't be able to talk to him! Come on now!"  
"Hitomi, I really don't care. You hit your brother. You will not be dating that man for at the very **least** one week. Go to your room, I am seriously disappointed in you."  
"Yeah? Well... You're not so great either, Natsumi."  
"Hitomi! Hold your tongue, girl! How dare you disrespect your mother like that!"

Hitomi walked to her room unfazed and locked the door. Well, now she was back into the present after finally recalling all of those memories. Yesterday was a long day and up until the time when she got home, everything was wonderful. He was still worth it, though. All of it. She kissed the teddy bear Amano had bought her and pressed it against her chest; but that nagging feeling was still there.

* * *

That feeling wouldn't go away, her name was still being shout inside his ears with a deafening clang. "Millerna! Millerna! **MILLERNA!" **Dryden wanted that feeling to go away, but it couldn't, at least not right away. It had only been yesterday since his wife was killed and he still pictured Millerna's dead, lifeless body in his arms. He couldn't shake off her blood on his body and the shock filled him with dread from seeing her eyes wide open, but unable to see. She had just been laying there, with terror frozen in her eyes and her mouth halfway open trying to convey her last words to her beloved. As much as he shook her, she wouldn't speak to him, _couldn't_ speak to him. He had waited desperately for her to finally touch his cheek and whisper into his ear, but all she could do was lie still. With a heavy heart, he placed his hands over her eyes and closed them shut, realizing that they would never open again. Van saw Dryden sitting on the bed staring at his shaking arms and walked over to him. "Dryden..."

"Van! You murderer! Millerna is dead because of you!"  
"I did not! Denieos put her in the way! I couldn't stop fast enough! I wasn't...strong enough!"  
"Van, if my arms weren't broken from the blast, I would kill you myself," Allen said, staring out Van with utmost malice.  
"This is high treason, King Van. Killing the Queen of Astoria. I'll make sure you are swiftly punished," Dryden told him, throwing a punch into his face. Van stood there like nothing happened and ignored the punch. "Dryden! I didn't have any time to stop! Come on! It was a tragic accident! How do you think I feel? I saw her die by my hand!"

Dryden and Allen looked at each other and the atmosphere remained silent until Yukari spoke. "Hey! Van protected me by sheltering me under his wings! He was trying to defend you guys too!" she stood to her feet and crippled back down in pain from her leg. Van caught her before her head hit the floor and their eyes locked. He smiled and Yukari blushed.  
"You shouldn't be standing on your feet just yet, Yukari."  
"I... Yeah, I know. Just get off me already," she said, wanting him to stop holding her. Then, to her surprise, he picked her up and carried her to an empty bed. "Hey! What are you doing! You some type of sicko? Get off me! Get off me!" she yelled, pummeling him with slaps. Van set her on the bed and walked away.  
"Don't be stupid, girl. If you want to keep that leg, you shouldn't stand on it."

Dryden snapped back at Yukari while Allen's gaze was still frozen on Van's face. "Yukari, watch your mouth. Don't you even dare to defend this bastard after what he did! This isn't any of your business anyways, just stay out of it."  
Yukari shot back a cold look and that enraged Dryden even more. "You've got something to say, woman? It'd be wise to shut up and not defy the King."  
"You're not my King, and I can say whatever I want. Besides, it's not like Van _wanted_ to kill her anyways. Give him a break already!"

Dryden raised his sword to her throat and that shocked even Allen. Van gently lowered the King's sword away from Yukari and turned to her. "Yukari, be quiet. You understand nothing of this world and need to learn your place. Even if you have no allegiance to him, you should still show respect."  
At that word, Dryden took his sword and slashed Van's back. His balance was still off and the stroke weak because he was holding his crutch in the other hand, but his message was very much clear. "You speak of respect, Van? Show some yourself! You deny that you killed my wife?" Allen as well, walked up to Van reinforcing the King's question. His sense of honor had been sullied by Denieos and now by his friend.  
"No! I don't deny it! I killed her! But that wasn't my desire! He threw her in his way! I could NOT pull back! Didn't even know what happened until her blood splashed onto my face!" _Desire. What __**is**__ my desire? Could it be..._

"An accident? Well Van, I may have acted rashly. This is all still very new to me and need to think. Her loss is killing me inside my heart, Van. What else was I supposed to say? I saw it happen in front of me! I must go..." He turned his back to Van and hobbled with his crutch. "Van, you may still be my friend, but I have no idea what's going on. I do not trust you until my heart and mind are clear."

Allen spoke to Van once Dryden had left. "I too, have acted rashly, King Van. This trial is hard on all of us and I'm sure none of us can think logically. But until this matter is resolved, we will remain allies, but if we discover that your true intentions were to murder my Queen, we will declare war and show no mercy." Van hung is head in shame.  
"So, Allen... Where will you guys go?"  
"Van, we'll need at least a month or two to heal our injuries and Freid was always a grand ally of ours, so we will take refuge there until we can get better. They have also agreed to help rebuild our country and help our people."  
"I can help too, Allen."

"I refuse. As much as it pains me dear friend, the King and I cannot take any assistance from you or your country. At this moment, the both of us are bordering on hate and friendship towards you. It'd be best to just leave us alone until you are contacted."  
"I see. Well I understand your position, Allen. Dryden would not listen to me so please give him my condolences. I am deeply sorry and I want to seek revenge on Denieos."  
"So do we, Van. I just pray that we won't also take that out on you."

When both the King and the Knight left, Van looked over to Yukari and sat on the bed with her. She turned bright red and and tried to push him off and back away before her leg made her wince in pain. For some reason, his pendant shimmered but this time, it actually felt wonderful. What was it trying to tell him? He had just lost his fight and even killed a friend. Why was it glowing and making him feel so complete? He touched the necklace and that caught Yukari's eye.  
"Van, that's the necklace Hitomi gave to you, right?"  
_Hitomi. Why are you even talking about her, woman? I want to forget about that person, I hate her now. I want nothing to do with her at all._ "Yeah... But that was over 2 years ago, and she's totally forgotten about me."  
Yukari raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Forgotten?" _I'll never forget about you, Yukari._ Amano's lying voice spoke inside her mind.

"Forgotten? What are you talking about, Van? She was a mess of feelings when I saw her, but she still had you on her mind. I believe she still loves you."  
"She hates me, Yukari. This Stone is the only thing left connecting us together and it's turned from red to black. I could hear her voice through it and now it's silent."  
"Her voice?" Van tightened his fist and looked away from her face. "Yukari, it was like I was there. I could literally see and hear her while she was with that man... I hate her now."  
"That man? _No way, could it really have been Amano? No, it couldn't. He...he..."_

"Yukari, I believe you know about him too. His name was–"  
"Amano," Yukari said soft-spoken.  
"Yes, so you do know him."  
"He's my boyfriend. **Was** my boyfriend. So Van, she...?"  
"I blacked out and haven't heard from her since, but she betrayed me. He was about to bed her."

"**WHAT?" **Yukari felt deathly cold inside, and the excitement also brought that searing pain back into her leg. With nothing else to do or even say, she latched onto Van and cried onto his shoulder. Van had no idea what to do at this point, it was so uncommon for him to have a girl other than Merle cry on his shoulders. The only other time was once with Hitomi when she strongly missed the Mystic Moon. All Van could do now was just hold Yukari in his arms and let her cry out her soul. He felt sorrowful as well, killing Millerna. He kept it to himself, however. Even if he had to become evil itself, he would destroy Denieos and avenge the death of his friend. Repentance from that sin would have to come from his own hands, even if they weren't all that strong.  
"I'm not that strong..." Van said, quietly.

Yukari lifted her head up to him wiping away her tears. "Van?"  
"I wasn't strong enough to save her," Van was still thinking, unknowing that he had spoken it out loud.  
"Huh? Oh, nothing Yukari. I killed Millerna and now I need to kill Denieos."  
Yukari brushed up against Van's side. "You didn't mean to kill her, right Van?"  
"Why? You think I did it on purpose too? Get out of my sight if you think that!"

Yukari sighed and actually scooted closer to him. "You saved me, remember? I saw that man's eyes. He wanted to end my life, he had already paralyzed me on the floor with those terrible eyes. That air of bloodlust all around him was enough to make me choke." She placed her hand into his to find some comfort, but he gave no response. "Van, when you stood in front of me and spread out your wings, you blocked all of that from me. I felt completely safe, like nothing could ever defeat you and harm me."

Van pushed her aside, but still remained seated with her. "Don't be stupid, girl. I'm far too weak to defeat that man. And now these wings are soiled with innocent blood. I shouldn't even have them now!"  
"Van, I don't care what color your wings are! Those are the wings that saved me! And..." Yukari turned her face away and started to blush. "And as long as I get to see them, I'll always like them."  
"Yukari, I thought that I told you that I am much too weak against that man. Stop acting like such a schoolgirl."  
"A schoolgirl!" Yukari shouted angrily, "I haven't left High School yet you jerk, of course I still am! But after being all yoinked from Earth onto this lovely place, it's probably too late to go back anyways. Bet anything they've already marked me down absent so many times that I've failed my last year."  
Van's thoughts were shifting between her and many other topics, so he barely even heard what she had said. Two of her words stood out, and it was like the Stone around his neck wanted to repeat them as well. "Too late." Was it already too late for him? For everyone?

_**That's right, Van. It's already too late, just give into your desires and soar up to new heights.**_

_No! I'd rather tear off these wings and swallow them whole before swallowing my own innocence!_

_**Innocence? Liars shouldn't be saying such things. You've wanted me for a long time now. If you eat those wings and discard your Atlantean heritage, you'll only fall from the sky and descend into weaker power.**_

_You're wrong! If I listen to you, I'll descend into something..._

_**Something much, much greater. And you know it. You've been listening to this urge for many years, ever since Folken left your land."**_

_But he died as an honorable man!_

_**Yes, but he still died. Van...Van... Oh Van...**_

"Van!" Yukari said shaking him out of his trance.  
"What?" he replied, staring her in the face.  
"Van, are you okay?"  
"Y-yes. I was just lost in thought. Seems to be happening a lot recently, I don't like it. Warriors should only think about their swords."

"Lost in thought? About what?" Yukari asked him, placing her hand into his again. Since the moment she had stepped onto Gaea, she had hated every minute of it and at times was even frightened but now, she was still deathly afraid given their current situation but there was something about Van that made her forget about all of that. She didn't know what it was, but she couldn't look away from him. Van smiled and this time around he accepted her touch and locked his fingers together with hers. She waited for his answer and nudged him the in the elbow a few times before he gave it.

"Thinking about you, Hitomi, Gaea, Denieos, everyone... I can't take it much more, Yukari. I want to access stronger powers and feel like I can protect those around me. As it stands, this sword is too dull to cut its enemies in two. I hate Hitomi, but you deserve my respect all the same because you are her friend and I can never forget those nights we shared together. It's too dangerous for you here, Yukari. You need to go back to the Mystic Moon. Escaflowne has been dormant far too long and I've finally decided to awaken him. With his power in my hands once more, I will be able to defeat all my enemies, but I don't want you to be a part of this war if it turns out to be that way. Escaflowne could probably send you back."

"War? Probably? What's this 'probably' stuff all about? If you're not sure it will work, then don't do it! Call this Escaflowne or whatever and win your battle, everything will be fine."  
"I refuse to spill the blood of another innocent, Yukari. As King of Fanelia, I order you to go back!"  
"Cha! You're not my King either, moron. What am I gonna do there anyways, hm? My bloody family never gave a damn about me and that's why I was always working as the team manager on the track field spending time with Hitomi and Amano. Both of them betrayed me and I don't want any part of them! Besides, with my leg this screwed up, I can't ever run again so everything about where I'm from will hurt me if I went back! At this point, I wouldn't mind staying here with you, Van. With all the others too, I guess. This world still haunts me, but something tells me I can count on you, right?"  
"But you can't...I'll probably end up killing you too.."  
"That's a bunch of crap, Van! With wings those gorgeous, you can't possibly be an angel of death. I like those wings." _Just his wings, Yukari? Come on girl, spit it out already. _"Yeah, I really do..."

"Like my wings? Only Merle and Hitomi have ever said that. They frighten most people. And now they've been stained red."  
"Red? Van! I told you! Those are the same wings that sheltered me from Denieos! I don't care what color they are! They could even be pitch-black and I'd still find them beautiful! I'd still find you beautiful!" She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands but now, it was too late. She went and blurted it out like a boy crazy student.  
"Find me beautiful, Yukari?" Van asked, holding her hand even tighter.  
"Well... You know... for a guy and all..." she said red in the face.  
"You've been here for a few weeks now Yukari, and I've actually found some attraction to you. I've been trying to get my mind off of Hitomi and whenever I saw you, she would just escape my memories. Even if you are her friend, it still has nothing to do with her."  
"Really? Well, I've been trying to get that lying backstabbing Amano off my mind and that Allen character reminds me an awful lot of him." Their eyes locked for a whole minute in silence. After it had passed, the two noticed that their faces were very close to each other; close enough to feel their warm breaths. "Van, we don't have to think about those two anymore though, right?"

_Destiny, Van. Reach out and grab ahold of it before she flies away._ "I don't ever want to think about Hitomi again, Yukari. She betrayed the both of us and that lingering memory is just too hard to bare. I want her out of my head. Forever."  
_You hear that, Hitomi? You stole my boyfriend so now I'm going to steal yours._ "Well then just forget about her, Van. Just forget all about her..." she placed her hand on Van's cheek and he did the same on hers. Yukari closed her eyes and they came together slowly, eventually meeting one another's lips.

* * *

Walking to school, Hitomi dropped hard to her knees like a bullet had just pierced her heart. Even though it was incredibly frail, there was still a link between her and Van, but now it felt like it had just shattered, every last possible piece of it. "What? What is this? Van, I don't care about you, why am I hurting for you?" There was something else behind her pain as well. "Yukari. What's going on?" She whimpered in pain until Amano saw her on the ground. "Ha! What's this, Hitomi? Practicing some brand new position for us?" Knowing he was trying to help, Hitomi stood to her feet and smiled trying to mask the burning pain. "Another position, Amano? We've gone through most of them already."  
"That's true."  
"Oh hey, Amano, I hit my brother last night and now Mom is grounding me for a week. Anything outside of school, I won't be able to see you. She even took my phone away. What are we going to do?"

Amano's calm and collected image shifted into the extreme opposite. "What do you mean, 'What are we going to do?' You're mine, and I'll have you. I don't care who stands in my way."  
"Ooooh, there you go again Lover. Gettin' all hot and stuff. You mean that?" Hitomi wrapped her arms around Amano's waist and kissed him.  
"Of course I mean that! I'll do whatever I want to you whenever I want!"  
"Whoa there, boy. That may be just a tad bit extreme. I have a life, you know."

The anger in Amano's eyes ebbed and he apologized to Hitomi. She laughed and they went along their way, but now her mind was filled with millions of thoughts and ideas about her, Van, Amano, Yukari, and everything else. Her day at school pretty much sucked, all her classes had tests so she didn't have much time at all to speak with Amano. Even after school, the track team worked her hard and whenever she would have a chance, she was too out of breath to even bother. He couldn't even walk her home because she knew her mom would freak. So with one final kiss for the day, they separated and she walked home alone. She didn't say anything to Natsumi or Ichirou when she came back, she only went to her room and locked the door. Ichirou was still very much afraid of her and relations with her mother weren't all that great now, either. Before she knew it, she found herself gazing at her Tarot cards, all still bound inside the metal box.

* * *

"_Can you save her, Van? Without using this power that you long for but refuse to touch?"_ Denieos' words kept repeating in his ear, making him feel weaker and weaker. It was because he had refused to use that strength that Millerna died. _You had no other choice but to do what you did, Van. Somebody was going to die anyways, that makes no difference at all.  
_"What are you talking about?" Van said to himself, now holding the pendant in his hands. "It made a huge difference. My greatest ally may decide to turn against me."  
_Oh really? Well then, what will you do about it?  
_"I don't know."  
_Stop being so stupid! Of **course** you know! Call me, Van. Wake me up from this deep slumber._

"Are you sure, Escaflowne? I banished you for both our sakes. I almost died because of you."

_Because of me? You fool, you didn't even know how to contain my power. That ugly girl brought you back into her peace-loving arms just moments after you finally tapped into my true power. I want to feel that again. You want to feel that again.  
_"That's a lie!"  
_No! **That's** a lie. You know that the darkest deepest part of you wants this immense strength. Together we can be unimaginable. You want to protect your friends, right? How about Yukari?_  
"Yukari has nothing to do with this! She's still new to this world!"  
_Ahh. True, but didn't she say that she didn't care what color your wings were as long as they were protecting her?_

"Well yes, but..."

_That's enough, Van! Release me! Blacken your wings and join together with me! Without me, you are hopeless. Wretched. Dead.  
_"I don't want to die, Escaflowne. I never have wanted. Even when things went wrong and the torment was too much to bare. I've always wanted to live on for the next fight. To prove my worth on the battlefield and defend my name. My country. My friends."  
_Yes, of course. That's why you killed one of them. What does that say of you, oh King?_  
"You said it yourself! I had no other choice! I couldn't stop myself! I didn't even know until it was too late!"  
_Hahaha! You're pathetic, Van. It will be too late if you can't stop Denieos. You think that's all he wanted to do? He wants you to gain this power for a reason, he wants you to fight him to see if you can stop him. You had it before, Van. Allow me to give you all of it this time.  
_"But Yukari might..." _Yukari? You worthless piece of crap! She has created an affinity towards you, those wings of yours mesmerized her and now she too is yours. She said she didn't care, Van.  
_"Even if my wings are black?"  
_Even if your wings are black. Even if all you can see is red, and all you want is to rise high above those who stand in your way.  
_"And Denieos stands in my way, doesn't he?"

_Correct. But at the same time he is also pushing you. I'm so sick of being trapped here, Van. Release me and call on my name once more.  
_"If I do, I would have succumbed to those desires, and Astoria might turn against me."  
_Succumbed? So you admit that you have had them, then?  
_"There's no use hiding it. You already know."  
_Smart. Who cares if Astoria declares war? They soon will know that you are right and once your enemies are defeated, everything will be restored._  
"Restored? Is that your agenda?"  
_Agenda? My fate is strongly linked with yours, Van. I can still taste your impure blood. Whatever your wish may be, I will follow it. Call me, Van. **CALL ME!**_

Van ripped the Stone off his neck, and hung it in the air by its string. If he did this now, there would be no turning back. If he refused the offer, he may never get the chance again. He was so close to Escaflowne this moment and if he walked away from this passion like he had always done before, it would fly away beyond his reach no matter how far he soared. "Escaflowne, you are right. Without power, I can't defend my people. Without power, I'll never be able to kill those who stand in my way. It's been a while since I last heard your voice dear friend, but now I'm listening. Escaflowne, awake from your frozen slumber and come back to me. Escaflowne, descend!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Nightmare Eight: Ready for the Pain**

At his summon, Escaflowne materialized from the air and came down onto the castle floor with bended knee, hailing its master once again. "**I've answered your call, my King,**" It's voiced boomed in Van's head.  
"Heh, that you have my friend."  
"**Are you ready, Van?**" Escaflowne asked, dark energy eminating around it.  
"Our souls are one, Escaflowne. You know the answer to that. I only want the power to protect those around me and to kill Denieos."  
"**Kill? Do you desire blood, Van?**"

"Only his."  
"**I see. If you say so. Will you give me yours one last time, then?**"  
"Willingly, Escaflowne. I need your power."  
"**It's a dark power, Van. I know you long for it but you will fall into my realm of hatred and malice.**"  
"I won't let that happen."  
"**I wonder.**"  
"Enough talk! Let me in. Now." Van demanded, having heard enough of their conversation.

"**That's what I want to hear. Very well.**" Escaflowne's organic chest opened up with clicking, snapping, and squishing sounds. Van closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was it, there'd be no turning back now. After he accepted Escaflowne again, he would gain the power to destroy his enemies. Just the idea of it was so enticing, seductive. He was already being tempted to just take all of its power, no matter how evil he would become. He knew he had to be careful, he was stepping inside forbidden territory as it was, and he didn't want to walk any farther than he had to. At least, he thought as much.

Van walked up to it and some short black and gray tentacles pulled him in. Escaflowne stood on its feet and retracted his flesh-like front armor back into place.  
"**Last chance, Van. I cannot use you if are hesitant and weak about this.**"  
"Escaflowne, I've already told you. You know my soul. You know my heart."  
"**Which is why I am worried.**"  
"Nothing to lose, friend. Take it. I'm ready for the pain."

Escaflowne remained silent as if it was trying to peer into Van's whole and discover his true intentions. The leg grips tightened and held him in place while the arm controls wrapped themselves around, eventually having the entire system mold its living self to Van's body strapping him in and giving him full mobility. Claw hooks lowered from both sides and lined themselves with Van's neck; the perfect area to draw blood and have all the veins flow into each other throughout the full body. The sharp hooks latched onto the neck skin and Van twitched a bit from the puncturings on both his left and right. Two small drills protruded out of the middle gap in between the claws on both of his sides. They rotated with blinding speed before entering Van's skin. He tensed up, bracing himself from what he knew would hurt tremendously. The drills bore into his neck and Van shook wildly with intense pain; greater this time than the first. The searing pain tore all through his body, feeling like every limb he had was slowly being ripped apart. His arms and legs twisted, causing sweat drops of blood drench his skin.

His eyes were as wide as Merle's toy ball she had when she was much younger. He held it in as long as he possibly could, but he had reached the peak of his endurance and suffering. Every part of his body was bending and being pulled, nearly dislocating all the bones. Any more, and he would probably die. Enough was enough and he could agonize no longer and let out a loud blood-curdling scream filled with pure torment and horror. The sound was echoed and magnified through Escaflowne and was heard across Castle Fanelia.

Merle and Yukari were alone, actually getting along with each other for one of the first times since Yukari fell from the Mystic Moon. She had already been here a while and after so long, Merle eventually eased up on her and realized that Yukari was not Hitomi, even if they were friends. Merle's ears perked up before the scream was audible and then it blared all over the castle. Yukari was frozen in terror. The two looked at each other in fear and bumps crawling all over their skin, sending cold shivers down their spines. Merle shot up and bolted out of the room with a flash and on all fours. "Merle!" Yukari said, unaware of the current situation and wondering why on earth she would run _to_ the sound. She propped herself up with her crutch and followed after hoping to find out what was wrong.

Merle knew; she knew _exactly_ what was going on. She was running as fast as she could, fretting all along the way. Hundreds of memories and worries raced all around her and she was far too nervous to expel them. Ever since their awkward kiss, Merle had tried her hardest to keep away from Van. After that, she knew that she was the one at fault. At fault for forcing herself onto Van's lips without even considering his feelings. He had been trying to tell her that he didn't love her in that sense, and he could see where she was headed and didn't want her to get hurt. She always wanted Lord Van to notice her, to _really_notice her and she had convinced herself beyond any type of doubt that Van wanted it also. Instead, it was a mistake. A very, very wrong mistake. She had felt absolutely nothing at all in the kiss.

At the most, it truly felt like a brother's kiss, which was undeniably disgusting and gross. She was broken at that point, but not because of him. She had never listened the entire time they knew each other, even though he had made it obvious over the years: They were siblings. Nothing more. Lost in thought, she heard Yukari's voice shout from the other end of the hall as she was trying to catch up.  
"Merle! Watch out!"  
Merle made a sharp turn and crashed into the wall. She rubbed her head for a second and continued on her way. She was about halfway to the main castle hall when a second monstrous and deep scream followed by a growl rang throughout all the castle floors. It was deeper and stronger this time, almost equivalent to thousands of soldiers being brutally maimed all at the same time. It stopped her dead in her tracks and Yukari almost tripped over her from the abrupt stop. Her balance was still very much off, walking around with a crutch the whole time and Merle's sudden change of pace almost made her fall over the crutch. That scream also frightened Yukari, but she had no idea what it was or where it was coming from. Before she knew it, Merle was gone and she found herself frozen to the bone in unknown fear, leaning up against the crutch. She tried to call out and tell Merle to wait, but her throat choked. After about one long minute, she was finally able to lift up her crutch and walk the rest of the distance.

Merle hated that sound, it rang of evil and she knew how close Van would come to that state after every single battle, especially while in Escaflowne. Even in the necessary fights she always hated how much enjoyment he found out of each killing, even if it had to be done. A death was a death, but he couldn't think that way in battle. He had perfected his technique and the way he fought and killed seemed like some type of sadistic art form. She could never stop him, either. He always claimed that he did it to protect and defend but his gentle heart that only she knew would be tainted one tiny spec at a time. Escaflowne brought out the very worst of him; it always had. In fact, that was the main reason that he sent it away in the first place. Actually signed a treaty with the bordering nations as a declaration of peace. If Escaflowne were to ever fall again, it would be considered a threat and quite possibly an act of war. All of this didn't make any sense to her, she thought she knew Van and now she was feeling that something could actually be wrong with him. Well, something _had_ been wrong with him. For a long time, really. Recently however, he had been acting very strange and the aura around him was being filled with a strong painful anger; like something dark inside of him was ripping away at his flesh trying to finally break free.

"Lord Van! Don't you even dare!" she said running down one of the last remaining hallways leading to where Van was. She could feel the heavy pressure of Escaflowne on her shoulders and it was forcing her to the floor, dramatically slowing her movement. Despite this, she endured and pressed forward, she had to know what was going on even though she hoped with all her soul that she was wrong. In the past, Merle could only cower in fear when Van entered Escaflowne because his heart would become more evil after every fight. She couldn't break him away from it, but Hitomi could. Hitomi _always _could.

Hitomi had pulled Van away from the darkness, something that she couldn't do even though they were childhood friends. There had been an exception only once, though. Escaflowne had swallowed both Van and Hitomi inside itself and Merle was able to bring them back with her crying voice guiding them back into the light. Still though, her feelings for Hitomi were at best very complicated and constantly switched back and forth from love to hate. She was very grateful Hitomi brought Van back and because of that, wanted to be her friend but hated her for accomplishing something that she couldn't and desperately wanted to do. Her friendship with Yukari started off rocky for this very reason, but over a short length of time they began to bond and get along better. Not _too_ well, but at least moderately. They had been talking about Yukari's kiss before this incident and even though Merle felt a little uncomfortable about it, she wasn't jealous. But now, making herway down the last hallway, she had no idea what to think. About anything. The atmosphere felt so cold and disturbing, an evil she wished that she would never see after catching glimpses of it in the past.

Dashing with tunnel-vision, her brain and eyesight didn't register the giant blur in front of her at first glance. When everything settled and her vision cleared, she almost wished that she couldn't see. Tears streamed down her eyes gazing upon a devlish black Escaflowne.

"LORD VAAAAAAANNN!"

* * *

She couldn't believe she was looking at it again, after all the trouble it caused in the past, even now. True, those cards had brought her pleasure and wonderful memories, but scary ones as well. Hitomi could still feel something deep inside of her very core, trying to tear its way to the top. There had to be some latent memory she couldn't recall, but that had to be impossible, right? She didn't know. Without that link she had forged with Van, she felt unchained and free to do whatever she wanted. It was so incredible, but now she wondered if she was taking it too far or if it was even right. Too far? That had to be an understatement; she had slept with her best friend's boyfriend and in doing so betrayed Van. Both at the same time. At the time, that fact alone pushed her forward and excited her during their act, but that annoying tiny pure part of herself that was left told her it had been wrong. That voice was only a whisper, but it was still audible and really didn't want to hear it.

How could something that felt so good be wrong? It was excellent, even. This was the contradiction that was going on inside all of her: If it felt so wonderful, how could it be so wrong? It didn't make any sense at all, but it was still happening and she couldn't get past it. Hesitant, she finally decided to unlatch the bindings around her cards and placed both hands on them. "I don't know why I'm feeling this way. Amano's so hot and I love the new me, so why is my old self now questioning what I'm doing? I changed my fate, but now I don't know what I've changed. Will the cards tell me what's going on?"

Denieos' deep and pressuring voice vibrated in Hitomi's ears, although she had no idea who or what it was. _"Do it, Hitomi."  
_She looked around the room, worried that somebody was spying on her.  
"_Who are you looking for, Hitomi?"_

"I don't know."  
"_What are you looking for, Hitomi?"_

"I don't know."  
"_Will you ever stop searching, Hitomi?"_

"How can I know?"  
"_You tell me. You wanted this."_

Hitomi didn't know who she was speaking to or even why she was speaking to him, but something compelled her all the same, locking her into a supernatural trance. "I've wanted many things."  
"_And do you not want this one as well?" _Denieos pushed, trying to alter her own decisions.  
"Yes, of course I do! But...but... Now I'm starting to doubt."  
"_And why do you doubt, Hitomi?"_

_"_I don't know that, either. It's just that something..."  
_"__Something twists inside."_  
Hitomi's eyes widened for a second at his statement. "Exactly. I hate how this feels. There's something I'm supposed to know, but I can't comprehend what it is." She ran her fingers up and down her cards on the table, now accepting this unusual conversation as a message from them. "What's the answer I need to know? This is tearing at my soul and hurts beyond what any words can say. It's like something is sucking the life out of me."

"_Hurts beyond what any words can say? How would you know? You know nothing of pain!" _Denieos shouted, making her very skin tremble. She held her head in excruciating pain as her pupils dilated and everything around her spun with incredible speed. Sweat excreted profusely from her pores and her insides burned, making her feel like she was in the heat of a mighty raging fire.

She tried to scream out to release some of the pressure, but she had been rendered mute and could only suffer in silence until it would be over. When it did subside, the headache she received from it hurt like a mace being slammed over and over again onto her scalp. For the span of half an hour, this continued and just the feel of it alone was enough to make her think of suicide. She was breathing heavily afterwards, like she had just been running for countless years. Her body was all tense and bumps crawled all over her fair and perfect skin. She looked at her body and studied it over and was shocked at her next discovery. "B-blood? What?" Her right arm had been cut and the small opening allowed her blood to trickle down.  
"What's happening to me?" She cried out.

At that, she looked at her cards and was filled with rage. "You! Is this what you wanted? Is it?" More cuts slashed through Hitomi's body and she fell over backwards, staining her blue carpet with her red blood. She was on her side now, but brought herself back up onto her feet, crouching the upper part of her body down towards the floor.  
"What did you want from me?" she screamed, knocking all the cards off the table. "This makes no sense at all! Why am I... Why am I in such..."  
"_Pain? You don't know pain."_

"Then what is this?" she yelled, her wounds bleeding out, "I hate this!"  
_"Is that all you hate, Hitomi? I know there has to be more."  
_More? Her teeth were chittering and her lip wouldn't stop shaking. Of course she hated more, she hated just about everything as it stood right now.  
"Leave me alone!"  
_"I can't do that."_

"Yes you can! I don't want any of this!"  
_"You are weak."_

"I want out!"  
"_You created this all by yourself, Hitomi."  
_

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Another gash sliced its way across Hitomi's cheek and she clenched her fist in anger. "Tell me!"  
_"You desire to know?"_

"Yes!"  
_"Then hate me. Hate everything. Move your own destiny."_

Hitomi's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she passed out onto the floor. Her body gave a few random spasms until relaxing into a motionless state. Natsumi came up the stairs after hearing her daughter scream and wanted to check up on her. She had no idea what was going on with Hitomi, with all of her rebellion and rude attitude. She just had no idea what to do with her. "Hitomi?" Natsumi asked as she slightly opened her daughter's door.  
"Hitomi, are you okay?" It took her a moment to notice, but Hitomi was face first on the carpet non-responsive and oddly shaped cuts all over her body. Natsumi's heart raced out of control and tears welled up in her eyes.

"HITOMI!"

* * *

Merle couldn't take it much longer; the past month had been a living hell for her, ever since that Escaflowne appeared once again. Every day Van was becoming so distant that now she didn't even know if she could still see him. That once gentle heart of his wasn't beating any longer and the heartbeat of Escaflowne had overpowered it. This was horrible and evil, _he_ was evil. She still hoped that he wasn't, that there'd be a small sliver of good left in him. It was hard to deal with and Yukari hadn't been much of a help, either. It seemed like she had been drawn into Escaflowne's spell along with Van. Maybe that was even true, the darker Van became, the closer Yukari came to him. She was already a cold individual and this only made the matters worse. Much worse. Sometimes Yukari would be her 'normal' self for the most part, although over the month there had been a few subtle changes in her behavior, especially when she was tagging around Van. Merle was convinced that Yukari was in fact hypnotized by Escaflowne; her affection, behavior, and everything else just couldn't happen overnight and seemed so unreal. Maybe even that Denieos character was behind the scenes on this, he had caused major damage already. She didn't know. Didn't know anything.

She actually wished that Hitomi was here now instead of Yukari, Hitomi could bring Van back. She always had before. 'Before' was the clincher, though. Merle first worried when Hitomi's pendant around Van's neck had been stained pure black, but she never found the courage to ask him about it. She never had a strong connection with Hitomi, but she knew Van far better than anyone and she could definitely tell something was wrong. Hitomi wasn't within his view anymore and if she was the only one that could help, he'd be doomed. It grieved her that she held no power over Van while he was in Escaflowne and everything she loved about him were shut off by that creature. Van wouldn't listen to her now, even his eyes seemed to hate her. Yukari refused to listen as well. She could, but didn't want to. Everytime Merle would raise concern about Van, Yukari completely snapped and attacked her. It was scary, something she had always feared when she looked at Van. She had to try one more time, though. No matter how murderous his eyes looked. She was so sick and disgusted by all of the abuse she received for a long while now, even before Escaflowne came back. Something was going seriously bad and she wanted to end it by any means necessary, she only hoped that she wouldn't have to take it too far.

Her only other option was to travel to Freid and tell Allen and Dryden if Van didn't hear her out. The major problem with that choice was however, Van had already broken the treaty and if she went there, she'd be the equivalent to a messenger of war. She was glad that Astoria and Freid had cut off ties to Fanelia for this long, but she knew the time was coming so something **had** to be done. Still though, even if it helped a little, she would take on that role just to help him out. She loathed how far away Van was from her now. Worlds away. Many worlds away.

She walked extremely slow to King Van's throne like a weighted ball was strapped around both her legs. At first glance, Van looked exhausted and that was probably from his spirit being drained by Escaflowne. "Lord Van..."  
Van awoke and looked down to her. "Merle? Is that you?"  
"Of course!"  
"Well what do you want then? You pesky Cat!"

Merle started to cry, his words cut deeply into her heart. "Van! I hate what you're becoming! I know! I know you far better than anyone! Better than Hitomi, Yukari, Allen, anyone! I know there's something wrong with you! And you won't ever hear what I have to say! Please Lord Van, tell me what's wrong!"  
"Know me far better than anyone? You keep saying that, and it's so annoying. Besides, there is nothing wrong with me, Merle. I am becoming stronger to protect Fanelia. To avenge Millerna."  
"But Van! Millerna is dead! You can't change that! You're losing yourself, Van! If you keep this up you'll...you'll..." Merle paused for a brief second before speaking again. "Stupid! You'll do something stupid! And you'll be killed! I couldn't live through that pain! It's already killing me!" her voice screeched, "Lord Van! Please!"

"Who are you?" Van replied in a stern and harsh manner.  
"Van?"  
"Who are you to tell me what to do? Just shut up, Merle. Shut up and get out of my way."  
"But Van..."  
"If you **ever** get in my way again, I'll kill you."

Merle fell to her knees in shock and sorrow, crying like she had never before. "W-what?"  
"You heard me, you worthless piece of trash. Get out of my sight. I don't want to ever see you again!"

Merle was left breathless, unable to even think or stand. This was NOT Van, but here he was all the same. Merle coughed violently and wheezed, crying during it all. Eventually Van had enough and motioned for her to be escorted out. After she had been tossed outside, she knew Van was descending too far and way too fast. Her only option left was to ask Freid for help even if it meant war, no one else could get through to him. More people would die because of this, because of her. If she didn't tell them, Van would go beyond saving and his powers would kill thousands. She knew what she had to do, but she wasn't ready for the pain.

* * *

Dilandau hadn't been this thrilled for such a long time, he lived for battles like these. The last rush he felt that even came close to this was his fight with Allen over two years ago, and his hunger craved another battle since then. Even before that, slaying Celena in cold blood and having it stain his armor was unbelievable. He never felt anything like that prior to the killing and that urge is what drove him to this day. He longed for war, no matter how senseless or necessary they were. His vampiric bloodthirst sustained him after every fight and now he found himself in a wonderful buffet. The enemy in front of him would not back down, even amongst the flames. His eye twitched in excitement and his fingers ran down the scar on his cheek, remembering what that person had done. "Keep them coming, _Lord Van_, don't hold back!"

"Like I would!" Van shouted, thrusting Escaflowne's saber into Adonis' side. Van was angry at Dilandau for even daring to attack his castle. First that annoying brat Merle, and now this guy. Merle left a week ago and Van didn't care where she went, he was engulfed into Escaflowne's will. Dilandau's sword pierced through Escaflowne's left shoulder and the wound ripped open Van's own flesh. Blood overflowed and it's gruesome strain only made the fight seem more real. More deadly. More beautiful. Just like Dilandau, Van was now craving the thrill of the fight. He pulled the sword out and forced Adonis back with a powerful gust of black wind howling from Escaflowne's palm. Van was slowly discovering more and more of Escaflowne's almighty power and that power was addictive, leaving him desiring for much more. He was fading away into the black, just as Hitomi wanted him too, and he didn't really care. Adonis spewed more fire all around them and the burning flames made Van remember when Fanelia fell and the horrible vision of seeing both his mother and father lying dead on the floor with large amounts of blood covering their bodies. This is why he wanted this power, so something like _that_ would never happen again.

"Like this fire, Van? Bring back any pleasant memories?" Dilandau taunted swinging the sword.  
"Of course it does. That's why I want to kill you!"  
"Kill me? Ha! You're so blind!" Dilandau's blade sliced through Escaflowne again causing Van to feel the pain and cough up blood.

"**Van, what are you doing?**" Escaflowne asked.  
"Trying to win, leave me alone!"  
"**Then why haven't you?**"  
"Because I..."

"Because you enjoy this battle as much as I do. That's why. You're just like me!"  
"I am not!"  
"Prove it, then. Every strike of that sword slowly turns the Key. Don't lie to yourself, fool. I know that you want to kill..."

* * *

"Everyone! He's going to kill everyone!" Dryden exclaimed after hearing Merle's news. It had taken her a week to travel to Freid alone and after waiting a month before her trek, she feared that it was too late for Van. Maybe even too late for Gaea. Since Van had exiled her from Fanelia, she was unable to get a ride to the city. Her heart was heavy because of it, too. She knew that the _true_ Van wouldn't tell her that. Ever. She was always by his side, even if he didn't want her there. She had been in grief since then, feeling like her brother and best friend had actually died in front of her own eyes, just like Millerna. Dryden's and Allen's injuries had time to heal and were much better than they were before. The hospitals that Millerna had established in both Freid and Astoria helped a lot and allowed them to heal faster then they would have naturally. It was very strange actually going to that hospital without Millerna there and just the thought of her would always bring back that hideous memory. That memory also brought questions into their minds about Van's true intentions. Especially Allen's, since he would always feel some sort of angst everytime they clashed swords. Allen was standing at Dryden's side as usual and the two of them scowled at Merle.

"How come you haven't told us this before?"  
"Because I couldn't. I tried to..."  
"Doesn't matter now, Merle. This is war."


	9. Chapter 9

**Nightmare Nine: No, I Don't Think This is Right...**

"Nobody else can have you! You're mine!" She heard his voice exclaim.  
"Don't toy around with me, girl!" A punch to the face was felt in her dream and she awoke touching the side of it. Hitomi looked around the room flustered, trying to determine what was going on. "What? Where am I? This is... Oh, yeah. That's right." She relinquished her grasp on the white bed sheets and exhaled. She remembered coming back into consciousness inside the back of an ambulance with her eyes shifting in fear of the unknown. She was about to raise herself off the bed they had her on, but she was gently placed back down.  
"Ma'am, you've lost a lot of blood. Please remain calm and stay still."

"Remain calm? Whaddia mean 'I lost a lot of blood?' What's goin' on here! I–"  
Hitomi was injected with a sedative to help ease her restlessness and also allowed the EMT's around her to properly care for her until they reached the hospital. This was two weeks ago after she heard that voice she assumed was coming from the cards. In retrospect, it didn't make any sense that she was _actually_ hearing a voice in the first place; her tarot cards never spoke audibly to her before. Those cards were always just for fun anyways, she never actually 'foretold' anybody's future with them.

All the times she used them was when she already had enough knowledge to convince a certain friend about something. She was usually right too, which made everyone believe in her. Since that first day she was whisked away to Gaea however, her predictions had gained a new power to them and were scaringly accurate everytime. That magical world allowed her to attain this skill and the power of her wishes amplified by her Pendant would cause both harm and good. Before she left Gaea, she gave that Pendant to Van as a parting gift and her wish at that point was only geared towards him, not in chaotic confusion like it once was.

Over the next two years, she longed to see him again but eventually stopped caring because she knew it would be impossible for her to ever be held in his arms again. That day when she took her cards out again, she truly believed that she left that fate-changing power behind on Gaea and it would cause no harm. Then again, at the same time, she knew she had changed fate before and wanted to know if it was possible again. In her state of confusion, she had caused all of this turmoil going on in the present time. It definitely felt amazing at first, and the nights she spent with Amano were fantastic as well.

"But I..." Hitomi said in her thoughts, grasping the sheets again. For the longest time she had been blind to her own prediction and intimate forbidden passions, completely forsaking the romance she had with Van. Her betrayal cut him deep and she could feel it at the time, but didn't care one bit. She still didn't really care _too_ much, but at least now she was thinking; thinking that something wasn't right at all. Her connection with Yukari had also been shattered and she hadn't even though about her up until now. That link they had was still there of course, it'd be impossible to truly separate those two out, but now that chain was only held together by hatred and animosity. It was the same for Van as well.

She wondered why she was even bothering wasting her time on these thoughts and issues, but they had become so unavoidable that she basically had no choice but to let them in. That conversation she had two weeks ago still made her feel a little ill at ease and somehow with that painful beating she received, she had acquired the knowledge of what had been holding her back this entire time: Amano. Perhaps that was the price she had to pay to understand what was going on. "Hate me. Hate everything. Move your own destiny." Those were the words that were spoken to her and she still had no clue what they actually meant. Hate him? Just who was he anyways? How did he even know what was twisting inside her heart? She did hate him, though. Pretty much hated everything that happened to her because of him.  
"Move my own destiny?" she asked herself. Didn't she already do that, though? Just what on earth was going on, anyways? "On Earth? Well maybe..."

Gaea. Could something _really_ be happening on Gaea that was having an effect on her here? All her thoughts were in a drastic state of confusion and maybe that's what that voice wanted. It was trying to make her do something. "Do it, Hitomi." That voice still lingered in her ears. It wanted her to perform another reading, that much was certain, but why and what would happen? She hated being spied on and being told what to do and somehow this thing managed to do both without her truly realizing what was happening.

"I see that you are confused once again, Hitomi," Denieos spoke, watching her through his Pendant.

She looked around her hospital quarter to confirm that nobody was peering in, taking notes of everything she had been doing and saying. Nobody. "Aaah!" She screamed, holding her stomach and leaning towards the middle of her bed. One of her eyes squinted while the other remained open and goosebumps ran down her skin. "B-burning..."

"Your hatred still burns, little girl. I can sense your wish. It beckons to be fulfilled."

A nurse came running in to meet Hitomi after hearing her make the noise. "Miss Kanzaki! What's wrong?" She asked, placing her hands on Hitomi to figure out the matter.  
"Everything..." Hitomi responded. Hitomi didn't really understand why she had just said that, but everything certainly did feel wrong in her heart.  
"Everything?" The nurse asked, trying to get more information.  
"I don't know..."  
"I'll get the doctor in here, then."  
"No, please don't. I don't want them to..."  
"To do what?"  
_I don't know what I want..._

Within a few minutes Hitomi's doctor came inside and looked her over with a quick glance. "The nurse said you were screaming and holding your stomach. Let me take a look at it." She felt around Hitomi's stomach and didn't see any indication of pain or internal bleeding. Hitomi grew tired of this doctor pawing around on her skin and flared up.  
"Hey! It's fine, okay! So annoying! Get away from me!"  
The nurse spoke calmly to Hitomi trying to let her cool down. "Miss Kanzaki, a few moments ago you were clutching your chest in pain and said that everything was wrong. Please allow her to find the cause." Hitomi shot the 'rude' nurse an icey glare and retorted.  
"I wasn't talking to you! I don't need you guys looking all over me! If I let you do that, I wouldn't be surprised if you all wanted me to just strip down! Back off, okay?" Both the doctor and nurse looked at each other with faces that pretty much yelled out, "Is she crazy?" The doctor packed her things up and made her way to the door along with the nurse.  
"Miss Kanzaki, you're obviously still a bit nervous right now. Sorry that we've made you think that way, we were only concerned after hearing you scream. I didn't see anything wrong, so it's probably just some lingering pain from your suicide attempt. Another nurse will replace your blood bag within the next hour."

They took their leave before Hitomi could say anything. Well, more accurately, before she could process what they had just told her. "Suicide attempt?" she repeated to herself. "You're crazy!" she shouted, raising her fist in the air. "No way I would kill myself! I had it good! I had Amano! And..."  
"Don't toy around with me, you stupid girl!" Amano's line came back into memory.  
"Oh." was her response. "Well he..."

"Don't you want revenge, Hitomi? He's the one who did this to you."

Hitomi moved her hand up and down her face, remembering when Amano punched her and her thoughts were all in shambles. "But we shared ourselves! Why would you do something like that? This doesn't make any sense! Something isn't connecting right here, there must be something else, I refuse to believe that you would ever do something like that to me!"

"Then why do you remember it? It had to be true, yes?"

"Well maybe he did. But this isn't what I wanted!" she said carrying her words in the air like she was actually expecting somebody to listen and help.  
_Well, what __**did**__ you want, Hitomi? _spoke a very soft voice in her mind.  
"You! I thought I told you to shut up!"  
_You did.  
_"Then why are you still talking to me?"  
_Because. It's kind of hard to not hear your own voice, Hitomi._

"I **don't** want to hear it!" she said, holding her head.  
_You don't? I tried to warn you before, this isn't my fault.  
_"I don't care! Nobody was gonna stop me from kissing him back then at the mall! I'm glad I did!"

_Your heart speaks otherwise.  
_"Don't care about that either, Amano broke it with that punch."  
_But I thought you said that you wanted him.  
_"I..."  
_Hitomi, you know something is wrong. You can feel it, why can't you just accept it?_  
"Because..."  
_Because?_

"Because I don't know what to accept."  
_You know what he did though, right?  
_"Yes."  
_Then what is the problem?  
_"Not sure."  
_That isn't true, Hitomi. You know what you want.  
_"No! I don't! I don't know what I want! I thought I wanted this but..."  
_And I tried to warn you. You're such an emotional wreck.  
_"Yeah, probably."  
_What are you going to do about it, then?  
_"I told you! I don't know! Stop asking me questions I don't have the answers to! I don't want to listen to you!"  
_Listen? You haven't done that for a long time, Hitomi. You're just afraid of the truth.  
_"Like I care about the truth!"  
_Then why are you thinking about it?_  
"Because you're making me!"  
_If that's the case, someone inside you really wants to learn it.  
_"Just shut up."

_You're the one thinking these thoughts and giving me voice, Hitomi. Not my fault. You're forging these words all on your own. Your heart knows.  
_"What does it know?"  
_It knows the truth. It knows that you had sex with Amano, betrayed both Van and Yukari, forgot about your best friend, and told your first love to fade away. Far, far away.  
_"Yeah, so?"  
_So! So you're becoming quite cold, dear Hitomi. You never used to be this way. And you know it. That's why you're saying it right now._  
"I'm not saying anything!"  
_But you just did! You're hearing my thoughts, yeah? These are YOUR thoughts! Stop being so stupid! This isn't reality!_

"Reality is nothing more than an illusion, Hitomi. You long to open the Gate," Denieos chanted.

"Reality? Well you are right, I suppose. But I still..."  
_What do you still feel? Euphoria? You know this was all just a terrible mistake, your greed and lust brought you here._  
"It seems that way... But I still want it! Gonna be pretty hard to just let it go."  
_Harder still if you never will, Hitomi.  
_"I know that. At least, I think I do."  
_Then why won't you give it up?  
_"Because I've fallen in love with it."  
_Another love affair?  
_"So what if it is? Even if it brings me down to ruin, I'll love every second of it!"  
_Now you're just being stupid. Again. Wisen up, Hitomi! You know that I can't handle this; and I know that you can't handle this.  
_"But it's just so..."  
_You need to open up the Gate, Hitomi._  
"The Gate?"

"Yes, Hitomi. You need to open the Gate to Atlantis. You're the teeth on Van's Key."

_Yes, Hitomi. You need to open the Gate to your heart. It's been rusted shut for far too long._  
"Do I even have the Key to do that anymore? I'm beginning to think that this was all a fateful mistake."

"Fate never makes mistakes. Atlantis has been rusted shut for countless ages. Only you..."

_Only you can turn this Key, Hitomi. It needs to be done! If not, you'll be locked away from it forever!  
_"But I don't have this 'Key.' What could you possibly mean?"

"I've already told you Hitomi..."  
_I've already told you Hitomi..._

"Told me?"

"You are the Key!"  
_You are the Key!_

Hitomi was struck silent after hearing her own voice telling the exact opposite of what she thought she wanted. Her heart was speaking to her so that had to mean she was telling herself, right? Nothing made sense to her anymore. And what was this 'suicide' thing they were talking about? They had to be cracked because she would never attempt such an action. "I'm too much of a coward anyways..." she spoke softly, remembering that time she gave that pathetic note to Yukari on top of the school roof. She still felt like her rebellious self and part of her still loved it. The other part of her however, was trying to come back to life and return her back into her regular cheerful personality, not the gloomy one she had before she met Van. There was the problem, two opposing forces clashing together with a fierce intensity. Hitomi wasn't even sure if what she 'heard' was true, or if she even meant it. If she was having that argument with her own feelings, then that must mean she was speaking for the both of them since nobody else inside of her could have done that. That girl wanted her to come back to reality and Hitomi wanted to stay where she was. It was probably just her state of confusion after the attack. She had been in this unwanted hospital for the past two weeks and basically hated every moment of it because she wasn't with Amano and was forced to see her family because they would always come to visit. Ichirou was still afraid of Hitomi after he had gotten hit, but they could both tell that they were slowly coming back to old relations with each other.

Amano had only been to the hospital one time because the track team sent him to America for a meeting and competition. That's what he had said, at least. It reminded her about Yukari and her parents saying that she went out of country to look for some schools. That had been a while ago and she would have been back by now, so Hitomi hadn't the slightest of where that girl was currently located. Yukari's folks never cared too much for here anyways, so Yukari could have been anywhere, maybe even dead. It was definitely odd that she never told Hitomi first though, they had always told each other everything, even the most personal vulnerable issues. They knew each other inside and out and was truly a rare friendship.

"Everything, huh?" Hitomi said solemnly. It would be very difficult now to tell her best friend that she slept with Amano while she was gone. More than once, even. Yukari was a cold and snappy individual, but she definitely had a lot more respect over her own body and others than that. Compared to Yukari, Hitomi was playing the whore and she might as well had been since her first was Van. Up until now, Hitomi hadn't even cared about Yukari and Van and enjoyed her plunge into the recesses of her will and emotions. Since that reading, everything around her had definitely changed. Two cards always stood out, though. The Devil and that spare.

The spare probably had another meaning that she couldn't forsee at the time and she thought it was coming into view now: She made herself blinded to her own passions. The Devil card proved that as well, plummeting her into intense burning passions she wasn't supposed to have. This had been all new to her and she loved every possible second of it and dove deeper just to get more of it. This time was different, though. Somehow that memory of Amano punching her was retrieved from what she thought was the cards and that changed everything she forced herself into. Ruined, even. Although part of her had known that she ruined things way before that, with the first being that hot kiss up against the shopping center's wall. It didn't take long after that for her to be completely submersed into her desires, but now she finally noticed that she was drowning and needed to come up for air. Possibly. Who said that she was drowning, anyways? Afterall, she still loved who she had become and the ecstasy of it all was enough to overpower and dominate her. She didn't much care about it, either. As long as she could still have it, she'd take it and anything that came along with it.

"Only I can have you!" Hitomi jumped as she recalled his words yet again and placed her hand on her face. "I don't know if I want you now...I just... I just..." Hitomi dropped her head back onto the pillow and sighed. "I just don't know what I want."

A nurse assistant came into Hitomi's room and smiled. "Good morning, Miss Kanzaki. Looks like this is your last blood bag, here. Once you're finished with that, we're required by law to move you into therapy because of what you did."  
"What I did?" Hitomi asked, being very concerned.  
"You don't remember?"  
"Well..." _It's not like you guys would believe me anyways, I can't even believe it..._

"There were hundreds of gashes all over your body, and you bled out quite a lot. We're not even sure how you managed to do that without having the pain stop you from progressing"  
"Do that? Do what? Tell me already!" Hitomi said raising her voice in frustration.  
"You tried to kill yourself, remember?"  
"I don't remember that! I didn't do that! How come you people keep claiming I did?"  
"Well, how do you explain all of those cuts, Miss Kanzaki? We need to take you to that institution."  
"The hell you will! I'm fine!"  
"It's law, my dear. Besides, how do you even explain those?"  
"I don't know."

"Miss Kanzaki, please settle down. I'm only the assistant nurse. Just came in to replace your bag. None of us have any control over the law. You'll be sent there tomorrow."  
Hitomi didn't say a word and watched the inconsiderate woman finally leaving her sight. "What's wrong with these people? I didn't cut myself!" _Of course, I can't really tell them that I got assaulted by some unseen force. I'd get wrapped up in a straight-jacket and hauled off to some kind of pysch ward._

After so many hours, Natsumi and Ichirou came in to visit. "Hello Hitomi," Her mother said, still wary of her daughter's condition.  
"Hey." Hitomi glanced over at her brother and frowned. "Ichi, are you still..."  
"Mad? No. Everybody knows that girls can't hit." he replied with that annoying and conceited smile that only a little brother could make. Hitomi gave a quick chuckle and then turned her head away.  
"Hitomi? What's wrong dear?" Natsumi wondered.  
"Not sure, Mom. I haven't been myself, but I'm still loving the thrill of acting this way."  
"Well you're still pretty confused. I'm sure. Why did you do it, Hitomi?"  
"I didn't do anything! There's no way I could have! Why can't you people just get off my back!"

"Do it, Hitomi."

"Well I don't know what happened either, love. That Amano boy ever come?" She rolled her eyes and was even disgusted with herself that she asked the question; this man was probably the cause of all of her extreme behavior over the past few months.  
"Yeah, once but..."  
"But?"  
_No way am I telling her that he hit me, but..._  
"He's"...  
"Ah, I see. You don't trust him, do you?"  
"Sorta? It's kinda complex..." Hitomi said with a very confused question, only half-believing it herself.  
"Yeah relationships always are Hitomi."  
_Yeah Mom, but probably not like this._

There was a bit of an awkward silence before Ichirou jumped in being very annoyed and agitated. "Mom! Can we go now? This is soooo boring!"  
"Ichirou! We're here visiting your sister! That's rude!"  
"Haha! Don't worry, Mom. It IS boring here. Oh and Mom..."  
"Yes Hitomi?"  
"I'm sorry." _Sorry? I thought that you said you liked your free-spirited side._

_I did. I do. But...now...  
But now it'll only get worse, right?  
That's possible.  
Will you finally listen to me, Hitomi?  
I don't think I have much of a choice, now do I?  
What's that talk? You always have a choice. Move to your own destiny, Hitomi. You know what you truly want.  
I don't want this anymore, that much I know. I think. Maybe?_

_So, will you move to your own fate?  
But the future...  
Yes, the future is always uncertain and your destiny is never yours alone.  
But then how can I change my own destiny if I don't know what it is?_

"Do it, Hitomi."

_Your dreams are real enough, aren't they?  
Sometimes. I've had visions. But what if my dreams turn out to be nightmares?  
Then awake and dream again. Keep dreaming until they finally come true.  
And how will I know if they're dreams or nightmares? Or if my wish has finally come true?  
Hitomi, that is so simple. When you know, you won't have to ask._

Hitomi's internal conversation was interrupted by a tight hug from her crying mother. "You're forgiven, honey." Hitomi was more surprised at her mother hugging her than her actual apology. It was all confusing to her, really confusing, but Hitomi was now realizing that she was running out of breath. She had been blinded to the entire thing until now and even so, she was still standing on the edge of deliverance and descension, but at least her mind was becoming clear and memories being revived.  
"Say, Mom?"

"Yeah?"  
"Remember when Grandmom said that humans have the power to make their wishes come true?"  
"Of course."  
"And remember her stories about Gaea and how I went there as well?"  
"How could I forget?"  
"All of that was true, right?" _How could __**you**__ have forgotten that night, Hitomi? It WAS real!  
_Natsumi shook her head and gave a feint smile. "I believe it was. A bit difficult to ignore it. Why?"  
"Because of all of this..." Hitomi waved her hand in the air mentioning all of her surroundings.  
"I don't think it's right. Not right at all."

Her mother looked befuddled for a moment and then hugged her daughter again. Ichirou exasperated in annoyance and whined in opposition. "Let's get out of here, already!"  
"Heh, you wanna leave, Ichi?"  
"Duh!" he answered his sister, rolling eyes with an obvious 'You think?' message behind them.

"Yeah, that would be a good idea, actually," said a nurse entering the room. "Hitomi is on her last blood bag, and she won't need the whole thing. She's being transported to the institution tomorrow regardless of her feelings for it," the nurse shot Hitomi a stern look before continuing, "and she will need her rest no matter how much she hates it. You two should leave now."  
Natsumi looked at Hitomi as if to confirm and Hitomi nodded her head in agreement, but with a hint of agitation, her eyes being shifted to the ceiling. After a few more hugs and some more 'lame' feelings Hitomi didn't really care at the time, her family left and it was just her and that nurse who stepped in.

"I don't really like it here, you know."  
"Yeah, well we're just trying to make sure you're okay."  
"I'm better than what you think, and I'm still protesting on that instituion crap."  
"Yeah, well the only way you're gonna get out of that is if you actually kill yourself this time."

Hitomi puffed up and became angry. Wasn't this woman supposed to help her? Not insult her?

"Keep _that_ up and I guarantee you that _somebody_ will die you little b–" a strong sedative was injected into Hitomi's arm before she could finish her sentence and her eyes became anchored, getting her ready for sleep. The last words Hitomi heard was her own voice whispering gently to her, _That'sa girl, Hitomi. You know what you really want, that this isn't real. All you have to do now is make those dreams come true._

_

* * *

_

"You know what you truly want, Hitomi. That wish of yours has never changed from the first time you came," Said Denieos, now releasing his vision of her. He knew that she couldn't hear him, but as long as he tried to influence, even if it was subtle, she would eventually come around. That's what he believed, but he also knew that humans held the power to change their fate and even if that power was exceptionally strong with Hitomi, it could backfire on him and she'd direct it to somewhere he didn't want it to go. "Even with the highest magic, the future is still uncertain," he said with a grin, dissipating into the shadows.


	10. Chapter 10

**Nightmare Ten: The Awakening**

"_Three weeks. I've been here three weeks. I hate it here, I want out. I don't belong here."_

Dilandau paced back and forth with his fist closed tight. He hadn't seen any action for so long, and he was getting parched due from lack of blood. "Denieos! You done flirting with that vile woman yet?"  
"Heh. You're so impatient, Dilandau. You're in luck, though. You have to play a very important role in Gaea's rebirth."  
"Rebirth? I thought you wanted Atlantis."  
"It will all turn out the same."  
"Well, what do you want me to do then?" His hand twitched and his tongue circled his lips.

"Van."  
"Van?" Dilandau was energetic just from his very name.  
"Yes, that useless half-breed has finally summoned Escaflowne back onto this planet."  
"Oh! Has he?" A wide sinister grin came across Dilandau's face.  
"Yes, and your own magical strength infused with Adonis will be a grand battle against him."

The mere mention of Dilandau's magical abilities made him cringe; the sorcerers from Zaibach had kidnapped him as a child and experimented on him for many years. Those tests proved beneficial, but his mind was unstable. His first real taste of battle was the grotesque murder of Allen's only younger sister Celena. Her death was tragic to the Schezar family, but was transforming for Dilandau, that event had completely changed him. The use of his magic powers was outstanding with adrenaline flowed all throughout his body and the high was intense. Celena's body was found decimated, her limbs and blood sprayed all around her bedroom.

She looked so beautiful lying like that, with her torn and disfigured body splattered in every direction. Dilandau had managed to keep her eyes open after her death, falling in love with her gorgeous face; one of fear and utmost horror. Just that alone was enough to make him hunger for it every day since, and he didn't care who had to die as long as he could quench that sick appetite. Celena's death was never a random killing in the first place, Zaibach had their reasons for her. Dilandau assumed that Denieos had a reason as well, but he would kill even if he didn't need to. Zaibach's own reason for Celena's death was to divide the kingdoms in Gaea and for years it had worked until Hitomi touched down onto the surface and somehow brought them together again. Her visions had also caused massive damage and had given Zaibach the upper hand at points, but she would always be able to turn them around and provide victory to their opposing forces.

Hitomi's wish had grown so strong within the time she stayed in Gaea and with Van that towards the end of the Destiny War, she held the strongest power and defeated Zaibach. Dilandau hated Hitomi so much for that, loathed her with every single cell in his body. That painful memory of the sorcerers virtually destroying his body after every experiment always resided in his mind, making him very unstable, but he loved the products of it. His attack on Astoria was perfect for this very reason, and his background with Allen Schezar only made it more violent than it was supposed to be; even had impressed Denieos. Dilandau now wondered what Denieos wanted him to do with Van.

"Sounds like fun, Denieos," He said, snapping out of his fear although still having his words shake, "But why just fight him? Isn't he suppose to unlock the true Sanctum of Atlantis? Don't wanna kill him if that's the case, but if not..." the smile on Dilandau's face stretched across his face giving him the look of a demon waiting for its next kill.  
"Ha! I see the look of murder in your eyes, Dilandau. Don't you worry, however. That Van will unlock Atlantis with Hitomi's help. That Yukari has been perfect too, she's been cast under Escaflowne's spell and follows Van wherever he goes, feeding him energy."

Denieos spread out his blood-soaked wings to display his confidence in his plan. "You see these wings? They match the color of this Pendant and show all of the thousands I've killed over the ages. On both Gaea and the Mystic Moon. Van's is now black and his wings are the same. He's fallen, Dilandau. Drowning in his own defected will. That's where I want him. He'll awaken to his evil power very soon."  
"Your point? If he's so strong, why do you need me?"  
"This epic battle will pit you against forces FAR beyond your powers collided. The release of all Van's anger and Escaflowne's determination will break the lock on the Gate."  
"I still don't follow, Denieos."

"Very well, if you desire a history lesson. That Armor was built by both the Atlanteans and humans as a treaty of peace between the two worlds. That idea was at the very least absurd. The impure Atlantean blood perverted its original purpose and became a weapon of power, combining the strength and glory of Atlantis with the blind greed of humans. Well, to say that my people weren't greedy wouldn't be true, but we deserved every last drop of energy flowing out of Escaflowne and all that we've built. Being torn between two ideals, Escaflowne eventually forged a mind of its own filled with malice for every living being. The sacrifice of its pilot was proof enough of that. Atlantis could not contain its power any longer and fell. I want to revive that power, Dilandau. Extract its full glory and purpose beyond anything it would have been, and under stable control."

"So my role is to fight Van? That's it?" Dilandau asked disappointed, wanting to have done so much more.  
"Do not belittle me so, Dilandau. I want you to fight with murderous intent. I only need that bastard alive long enough to open the Gate. After that, you can do whatever you wish."  
Dilandau's facial expression clearly screamed, "I will kill him! I want to kill him!" but then Denieos continued to speak.  
"Be warned however, Dilandau, this fight with Van will force everything out of Escaflowne. Adonis' power will also be drawn out. This alone could very well kill you, if not that then the powerful explosion that must be made in order to reform the Gate. That door is so strong that it will never show unless if Escaflowne releases it all. Every last drop. Are you ready?"  
"Are you telling me that I could die, Denieos? Wonderful. I long for this fight. I want to see Van suffer and die! When do I leave, Denieos? Don't keep me waiting!"  
"Leave? Anytime you're ready; my visions have shown me that his little cat creature has arrived at Freid and will most likely tell of Van's betrayal. Everything is set in place."  
Dilandau sprinted out the door immediately after Denieos had finished his sentence and Adonis blasted off within minutes.  
"Well, well. You'll be the perfect sacrifice, fool."

Fanelia was in flames; the fire had spread all throughout the kingdom and Van knew who had done it: The enemy standing right in front of him. The battle had already been exhilarating, even with his deep wounds. His side was numb and cold now due to loss of blood, but that was not going to stop him. Dilandau set his kingdom on fire just like Astoria and he wanted payback. He had Escaflowne now, and nobody would stand in his way; not even Merle. Escaflowne wrapped its insides around Van's wound and he yelped in pain. The tentacle-like arms secreted a black liquid from their heads and sent a painful jolt up to Van's neck; it was like being struck by lightning. "Escaflowne! What in the..."

"**What's this? You insect. You want to live or not? I'm healing you, you ungrateful coward.**"

"Fine then, do whatever you need to do," Van said coughing. Escaflowne's fist punched the head of Adonis and sent Dilandau flying backwards. His vision blurred from the impact and mechanical systems blinked on and off. The Adonis was built by the sorcerers during their tests with Dilandau. Adonis' information was constantly altered to match his maximum abilities and forcefully drove them out. In a way, one would consider Adonis 'alive' since it always found its way to merge with Dilandau's thoughts, skills, and everything else about him. This battle had been no different, they both were gourging themselves in violence and loving every last minute of it. The two Guymelefs were locked inside a fierce battle and neither one had the notion to back down. Adonis and Escaflowne proved an even match, but Van was quickly unearthing his best kept secrets and most evil temptations.

Perhaps Dilandau was right, afterall. "See, Van? You and I are the same! Can you feel this burning passion? This lust for blood?"  
"No!" Van said, denying the obvious.  
"Don't lie, Van. I know you want to kill me. You know that I want to kill you. And we both know... That you want to kill everyone."  
"**He's reading you, Van. He knows.**"

"He knows nothing, Escaflowne. That isn't true at all."  
"**Then why did you call me down?**"  
"To..."  
"**To what? Too late to hide now. Too late. Much too late.**"  
"Kill!"

Escaflowne swung his sword with a brilliant flash and destroyed Adonis' blade. The shockwave of power encircled Escaflowne and cloaked him with a midnight-blue aura, its energy rising up into the sky like eternal smoke. Escaflowne was building power and storm clouds formed over their heads, releasing awesome lightning and drenching the city in rain; bitter cold and black rain. "I'm sick of you telling me what I want, Dilandau!" Van screamed, thrusting the saber straight into Adonis' left breastplate and pinning him against a stone building. He pushed it forward and Dilandau's cry of pain sent a stretched out smile on Van's face. "You know nothing of me! I hate being weak! I hate not being able to protect the ones I should! I want out of that! I hate it here, I want to break free!"

"_Three weeks. I've been here three weeks. I hate it here, I want out. I don't belong here."_

"Protect? I don't care about any of that. Such a pathetic idea. All I want and live for is death. Anybody's death. It doesn't really matter, blood is blood and it all tastes the same. I need it, Van. I need every ounce of it. Adonis and I can feel your growing hunger and we know you long for the taste as well." Dilandau opened Adonis' mouth and a great line of fire burst from it, engulfing Escaflowne into its flame.  
The frightful memories of Van's childhood came back into play, and he couldn't escape from them: From the horror of bodies burning, his mother dead on the floor with all her blood spilled in every direction around her, his father being killed. Being killed by... by...  
"Folken." The image of his black wings and father's head in hand scared the little boy called Van. Was this his brother? And was that _really_ his father? And what about Mother? That really wasn't _her_ blood spread on the floor, was it? The boy cowered in fear in the closest and 'safest' corner he could find amidst all of the flames and unmoving bodies. The heat alone was enough to make him faint, but his eyes refused to look away from that dangerous man with the blackened wings. It just all seemed so surreal, like a bad dream. A very, very bad dream. A nightmare. The two stared at each other for quite some time before the man flew away without saying a word. Van cringed and tightly hugged his knees, bring them closer to his face. He was scared, and he didn't know what happened. All he knew was that he hated that place and wanted out.

"_Three weeks. I've been here three weeks. I hate it here, I want out. I don't belong here."_

"Three weeks? It just started today! Everybody died!" Van cried out, tears and mucus flowing.

"_Three weeks. I've been here three weeks. I hate it here, I want out. I don't belong here."_

"I want out, too! I want my Mommy! I want my Daddy! I want..." Did he really want his brother now? Even after that?

"_I hate it here."_

"I hate it too! I...I... I..."

"_I don't belong here."_

The child's form burned away within the flames and the memory and released Van back into the present day and present time. Escaflowne let out a deafening howl and the fire burning away at its skin was exhausted, leaving nothing but singes. What did he mean by 'not belonging here?' Of course he did! He was King Van of Fanelia! The King! The King's never weak and that is why he is able to rule his people.  
"Yes, but without power, he can't be strong. You lack the will to soar to great heights." Van repeated, acknowledging Denieos' words. "I lack nothing! I will prove to you how far these wings can soar!" Dilandau finally removed the saber from his Guymelef and charged at Van, sending the both of them down to the charred city road, Adonis landing on top. "Prove what, Lord Van?" Dilandau said boldly, taunting the Atlantean.  
"I will prove that I have power! I will prove that I am strong! And I will prove that these wings will soar!"

The image of Folken's wingspan within the fire was transposed over Van in his mind's eye, and his black wings unfurled, allowing the same for Escaflowne as its own bony and bloody wings broke out of its body, using the tattered cape for their skin. "I will prove that these wings will soar far beyond anyone can see and attain magnificent heights! So you all... You all..." The blackish-red wings bleeding out of Escaflowne sharpened and dark energies danced all around it. The ground beneath him shattered and a large crater was made just from the mere presence of the spherical black energy consuming Escaflowne and the pilot trapped inside. "You all can just..."

* * *

"BURN IN HELL! Just leave me alone already, okay? I've been here long enough and I **don't** need your so-called help! I've been here three weeks already and I hate it! I don't belong here at all!" Shouted a very distraught Hitomi to one of the institution guards. The guard just ignored her and went along his way, he's heard her kind of people speak to him that way for years. They were the ones in the wrong anyways, those crazy suicidal maniacs.

Hitomi made a rude gesture to the man and walked away. She despised this place and even felt like a huge war was being fought inside of her, ripping her apart from limb to limb. Question was however, which part were they tearing away? Her subtle side or her sinful side? Well, she had always hated that subtle part of her to begin with, even before falling into this fate. She had been way too timid in the past until she met Van. He changed things. Many things. And then she got greedy, really greedy. Those two parts of herself waged war against each other frequently ever since her foot stepped inside the door, and she still didn't know what she wanted. Could she have both? Juggle them around? Find a safe middle? If not, which one would she be willing to lose? They kept telling her over and over again that she wasn't attacked by some supernatural unseen force, but that she had actually attacked herself. Interesting seeing how she had no recollection of that event whatsoever. She was pretty sure that if she had decided to do herself in like that and failed, she wouldn't forget it. Perhaps even try harder next time. Next time? Just what was she thinking? All their talk was beginning to break her down and she started to believe that maybe they were right, that possibly she could have done this to herself. No, that couldn't be right, if she only had her cards she would be able to tell.

"I will know when my dreams come true, huh?" she chastised herself, "That's a bunch of crap."  
_You are sure about that, girl? After all you've been through?  
_"I'm pretty sure they didn't lead me here. And I still don't know what I truly want."  
_Are you sure about that one, too?_  
Hitomi paused and looked up to the ceiling of her small room. "Maybe?"  
_Come on Hitomi, spit out. They forced you to come here because they thought you attempted suicide. You didn't, right?  
_"No, I'm pretty sure I didn't."  
_Pretty sure? That's not good enough, you're losing touch with reality. Again. Have you forgotten what those cards did to you? And to Amano?  
_"But without those cards I–"  
_You will be fine, Hitomi. Those cards were the problem. Come on, you can tell me. Spit it out, spill. What do you really long for?_  
"I told you, I don't really know."

_Sure you do.  
_"No, I don't."_  
So you didn't want any of this?  
_"I did."_  
But you just said that you had no clue.  
_"It didn't turn out the way I wanted."_  
What did you want?  
_"I don't know."_  
So, you've lost your wish?  
_"My wish?"

_What was your wish?  
_"Originally?"_  
Was there another time, Hitomi?  
_"No."_  
Then what is it?_

"My wish is... I... I just want to... I..."

* * *

"I want to go back!"

Merle stood there with water in her eyes and hands up to her chest.  
"No, Merle. There's no way you can go back."  
Merle kicked Allen's shin and he smiled at her even though it stung him a little. "But why? I don't know what Lord Van's doing! He might be dead! And now you idiots wanna kill him!"  
"It can't be helped, Merle! Escaflowne is evil and Fanelia is already burning! He may have started!"  
"Allen! Listen to yourself!" Merle pleaded, "This isn't like you at all! No it's not! Aren't you guys friends?" Her big eyes were saddened, but Allen refused to lose his stand.  
"Merle, I don't care. Are you going against us as well?"  
"What?"  
"You heard him, Merle." Dryden replied. "If you take Van's side, we'll kill you too."

_What did they just say? No, this isn't right. Something's wrong here, something's...  
_"Merle! What is your answer, creature?" Dryden yelled at her.  
"My answer? How should I know! I don't like this! None of this seems logical! Crazy! Absolutely idiotic and stupid! Leave me alone! I don't want ANY of this!" _I never did! Van you jerk! Allen, and Dryden too.  
_"Merle! Are you defecting?" Allen scorned, raising his sword. "If that evil has leaked into you as well..."  
"Stop it!" Merle shouted, crying up a storm. Her speech wheezed and breathing jumped. Why was everybody picking on her? "I hate this, okay? I don't want to see Lord Van like this! That's not him! He's not the boy I grew up with! He's..."  
"Evil."  
"Yes, but..."  
"Evil MUST be vanquished, Merle. As a Knight of Caeli I am oathed to defend life. Even if I have to clash swords with Van, he will be stopped."  
"You can't! I won't let you! I don't care! He's Van! He's MY Van!"  
"So you've chosen your side then, Merle?"

Merle had no idea what to say after that outburst. HER Van? Well, as a brother yeah. She learned that much the hard way, but she didn't know that she still felt that deeply about him. She knew that she had to protect him like she always had before, but he was the one usually saving her. She wanted to turn the roles around this time. Even if it was the last thing she'd ever do.  
"I don't want you killing him! Try something else, dammit!" she tightened her fist and almost let it fly straight into Allen's face. She held herself back knowing it would probably be considered a threat and put her on the list as well. What had she done? She was the one who came here and reported the news of Van's defection. Was there any hope for him? Was there any hope for her? Didn't seem like it. Didn't seem like there was any hope after Escaflowne had fallen from the sky. Again. Was there anything? Anything that she could do?

Dryden and Allen both looked at each other and sighed. Something indeed had come over them, pushing them to judge blindly. Dryden did his best to ease his grip on his sword, but the memory of his wife's killing had been constantly replayed inside his mind ever since it had happened. Millerna was a beautiful woman, absolutely stunning. Their marriage at first had been an arranged, and she was still enthralled with Allen that she didn't really care too much. Over time and their numerous events that occured in the Destiny War, their own destiny shone forth and the two became wed. Millerna was happy for the first time in her life, even. Without Allen.

Allen was also happy for her on that day, he could finally let go of her and of Marlene. Millerna resembled her late sister so much that Allen was naturally drawn to her, even if she wasn't who he was reminded of. Marlene had been his first love and their passions were wild and pure. One day, however, it was made known to the both of them that Marlene was to be placed inside an arranged marriage to strengthen the bond of Astoria's kingdom with others. No matter how much the two of them fought against it, she was wed to another man; the Duchy of Freid. She did not love him at first, Allen was the only one that she could see in her eyes. Eventually, that changed. Allen was forbidden to even look upon Marlene's face and she fell in love with her husband after a few years' time. Just like Celena however, she was killed by Zaibach to destroy any allied nations Astoria held.

Millerna looked so much like her older sister and Allen fell in love with her at first sight. It wasn't until she was married to Dryden that he learned his mistake. Millerna was not Marlene, and Millerna was finally happy. Was. Allen and Dryden bonded together as amazing friends and even through this ordeal, they still stuck by each other's side. They were feeling the same pain. Dryden stuck his sword into a tile crack on the floor and shifted his gaze to Merle. "He killed her, Merle. Why shouldn't we kill him?"  
"He didn't mean to!" Merle pouted, fearing for herself and her friend.  
"Doesn't change what happened. You understand me?"  
"I don't understand any of this! How could I? This is all just... Nobody's acting like themselves! Get a grip!" _A grip? Merle, you really need to get one yourself._

"Get a grip? I'm thinking clearly, alright. Van has betrayed us and Escaflowne is the proof of that, even if I believe he never intended to kill my wife. And that's a stretch in itself. Forget logical arguments, Merle. It's going to be blood for blood."  
"What? You can't!" Merle shrieked. She knew something was up; everybody had been acting completely strange after that Denieos guy showed up. Perhaps he had his hands on them too? She shook the thought from her head and tried to wipe away the never-ending tears streaming from her eyes. Why couldn't she just have everything back to normal? She had been abused for so long now that... That...

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! All of this! You want me to take a side? If it's gonna be **that** black and white, then I'll stand by Lord Van! I want to help him! I want him to come back to me! And... I want to protect his life, even if it means going against you!" She pointed her finger at Dryden and then at Allen. She didn't care what they thought about her now, she said it and she wasn't going to take back her words or ease up on her decision. It was final.

"Is that what you have decided then, Merle? You will become an enemy of Astoria just to defend that traitor?" Dryden asked her with his palm squeezed and Allen drawing his blade. This was it, she had to confirm her choice now or else it would mean nothing. Absolutely nothing.  
"I don't want to be anybody's enemy, but I don't want Lord Van to die. If you can't help him, then I can't stay a friend. I love Van! He's... He's like a brother to me! My only brother! He's the one who really understands me, nobody else! And only he can put up with me! I know that sometimes I can be annoying and irritating but... Van never cared! He always welcomed me into his arms and I want to do the same for him. I do not care what it takes, I will not allow you to kill Lord Van! Even if I have to gather soliders from Adom!"

"So Merle, you wish not to fight but if you must, you will?"  
"You heard me," she answered the King and spat onto his feet.  
"You are not welcome here, Merle. I suggest you leave now before my sword finds you."  
Merle looked at him and frowned. "You can just stick that sword up your ass for all I care!" She scampered out of the castle's walls and dashed into the Forest of Freid. She prayed she could help Van, she wished she could help Van. She had no knowledge on what to do, but she was still going to charge blindly forward. Everybody else seemed to be blind themselves, why shouldn't she have some fun? Fun? No, that wasn't the right word; none of this would be fun. Merle felt like she was the only one left on Gaea that could still think clearly and maybe she was. She ran past the trees with her tear drops spraying in the wind. "If... If only Hitomi was here..."

* * *

"I **don't want** to be here! How many times do I have to tell you fools?" Hitomi's counselor looked at her shocked, even though he had been quite used to this. He graduated early and studied a lot about the human psyche and how it developed. He even had friends who had gone through similiar situations, so he had first hand experience in this field. There was something about this girl, though; something very mysterious and possibly dangerous. Still, she was becoming attractive. "Kanzaki, you need to settle yourself down. Your brain must have closed off that memory of you cutting yourself or else there would be no other way that you'd forget. You almost died doing that and we still need to keep you here for that very reason. You've become even more unstable since you've been here and that worries us."

"Unstable? Oh no, I'm perfectly fine! I am just SO in love with being trapped inside here and not being able to get back to my own life. It's superb, wouldn't you say?"  
"Now, now. There is no need for brash sarcasm. We are here to help you, you know."  
"Help? I'll tell you how you can help me." She said inching her way slowly up to the man's face, displaying her goods. The young man blushed and looked away, he couldn't have been much older than 25 and she looked like she'd be about 19. Wasn't _too_ big of an age difference.  
"Aww, come on Matt! Don't you want to help me?" she asked him, now holding his hand and breathing onto his neck. "I can make things really good for you, unforgetful at that. Anything you want, baby. A-n-y-t-h-i-n-g." She was now sitting on his lap patting his shoulders and he was turning bright red from the view.  
"Get off of me!" he yelled before he could be tempted any farther. "What do you think this is, huh? Some type of brothel?"

Hitomi smiled at him and walked back to her seat. "I didn't hear any complaining out of you when I was over there, hot stuff."  
"Kanzaki! You are messed up!"  
"Kanzaki? Psh, you can call me Hitomi. Or whatever you want for that matter. Screw the formalities. Well, you can screw something else if you'd like," she winked.  
"But I..."  
"What's that? Oh come on! When are you gonna get another chance like this?" she moved her hands up and down her body, sliding along with it. She was tempting, so very tempting. Nobody would see, this was her private hour in the required therapy. With just one word and...

"Woman! You're going mental! You've steadily become worse ever since you arrived here!"  
"Yeah? And whose fault was that?"  
"Yours for trying to kill yourself. You need to get a grip. Get out of here, now!"  
"Get out? Aww, come on Matt. How about I let you in, instead?" _Hitomi... What are you doing?_

Hitomi shook her head and looked around the room in confusion, what in the world even came over her?  
"Miss Kanzaki, that does it. Your suicide attempt has altered your state of mind, we need to keep you in here much longer than expected. You're done here. Head back to your room."  
After she had left, Matt breathed a sigh of relief. That Hitomi girl was a very strange creature indeed. It was as if she had the 'power' to bend his will into hers and keep him there for all eternity. He was glad she was gone, Hitomi was a very dangerous person.

"Don't you want to help me?" Hitomi repeated to herself as she sat down on her bed. Just what was going on? Who was that? That wasn't her. At least, not who she had used to be. Since when did she offer her body up to just about anyone without even a second thought? Well, not just _anybody_, he was pretty cute.  
"No!" Hitomi smacked herself across the face in an attempt to get rid of the thought. Where was that alleged knife when she needed it anyways? That would take care of the problem, oh yes it would. "No!" She would have done it, too. That wasn't just some bluff or anything of the sort. Any second longer and she would have submitted herself over to him. She was glad that she found a way to stop herself, that small gentle voice that had been speaking to her heart.  
"Honestly, Hitomi. Since when did you behave this way?"

It seemed like she had converted into a cheap whore whose only drive was the next 'paycheck.' When did this happen? After Amano? She didn't have any reservations or restraint with that man. Van was her first one, though. Maybe he was at fault. No, that wasn't it. He was her first, but he was supposed to be her only. She knew that now, and that extreme stunt she had just pulled proved to her that the temptation and desire to stay this way was getting stronger and stronger; almost too strong to pull away from. The demand of sex had never been that big of a deal to her from the start. Even after she had met Van, she still didn't care too much. After their relationship budded however, she was beginning to blossom and wanted Van to be a part of it. She was timid at first, which was to be expected especially since she didn't want to go through with it unless they could get married and spend their days together, but she didn't know if she would ever have that chance again.

That what made it so beautiful, just the two of them. Forever. She had hoped at first, it was just so natural and she knew that Van was the only one she ever wanted. She didn't even care if she had to say farwell to everyone she ever knew, just as long as she could spend the rest of her life with him.  
"You've really done it now, Hitomi."

Thinking over all of these things, she couldn't believe that after a span of 2 years, she was now at this point. A short time, wasn't like a millennia, but Van had stolen her heart and had complete control over it. It might as well have been a millennia. She absolutely hated being in this place, having everybody telling her that she was at fault for stuff she never did and all of the constant alone time allowed her to think about just way too much. She had to be tripping or something, she never thought she'd be here or even be able to rethink her decisions again. She knew that the power keeping her here was growing and after what just happened, she surmised that she didn't have much time left at all. She knew that she was only down to two choices, and she HAD to pick one of them: Defect and live blindly in her warped desires or defend her first true love and come back to him. That time was drawing in closer and closer, another wild fling like that and she'd be lost forever. Now was the time to decide what she really wanted. "What do I want, anyways?"

* * *

"This is what I want!" Van screamed from inside of the Escaflowne. The Guymelef's wings slashed and screeched the air as it flew around Adonis, calling upon lightning storms to strike its prey. The dark energies eminating from its flesh-like armor gave it a presence of dominating fear. Dilandau's only possible hope was to use his magical powers to try to win the fight. Those powers would always drain the life out of him and he didn't even know if he had the stamina left for it after Escaflowne had impaled his Adonis multiple times, causing great injury. Adonis rose to its feet and Dilandau extended his arm releasing his magical abilities into the mechanisms. "Van! You will never kill me! Die! Die! Die!" He was eccentric now, but his adrenaline kept pushing him and all he could do was live for the moment. There was nothing before or after this, this battle was the only thing that ever was in life. A massive beam of light shot out of Adonis' mouth aimed directly at Escaflowne. Van smiled and allowed the beam to hit. Nothing. Dilandau shrieked in terror and began to cry. "Stay away! Get back! Get back! GET BACK!"

* * *

_You want to go back? You know what you did, right?  
_"Yeah. And I know that I'll have to live with it."_  
__It was wrong.  
_"I know! I really screwed up, okay?"___  
__In more ways than just one, apparently.  
_"Just what are you trying to say to me? This isn't helping!"

* * *

It wasn't helping at all; Dilandau couldn't land another attack on the now floating Escaflowne. He noticed that the dark storm that had been circling all around them was now converging into one single point right above Escaflowne's head and the rod on top of its helmet shone with a bright intensity. He knew that the time was drawing closer, but it couldn't end like this; he wouldn't let it. If Van's rage fueled Escaflowne and drew it out its original power and purpose, why couldn't he forcibly push himself and his magic into the remains of the Adonis and win? Adonis and himself wouldn't be able to hold out for much longer, however. Just like he had said, every strike of Van's sword intensified his rage and bloodlust which in turn gave Escaflowne stronger power and another step to opening the Gate. They were almost there, too. Just a few more nudges and he'd do it. He just had to know how to win this fight and arise the victor. If he could get Van to open the Gate and merge the worlds like Denieos wanted, then he'd be free to kill the worthless fool. With Adonis shaking from broken electrical impulses and Dilandau's quickly dying will, he exhausted the rest of his magical strength into an all-or-nothing last ditch attack. This was his trump card and he needed to know if he'd win this match or be overuled with a stronger hand. He just needed to know.

* * *

_You just need to know. That's what I'm trying to say.  
_"You think I don't?"_  
__So, you still want to go through with it then, huh?  
_"Yes."___  
__You know what this will mean, don't you Hitomi?  
_"Yes."_____  
__If you leave, you may never be able to return._

_______

* * *

_

Adonis extended its wings and flew up to meet Van in a fiery blaze of mystic power and falling debris. "Die Van! Die! I hate you! I hate everything about you!" The red armor punched Escaflowne's head with all of its might while still in flight. Once the hit had made contact, Dilandau released every last bit of his remaining magical powers into it and the arm twisted and drilled the face-guard of Escaflowne. Van was battered around and a gash came across his head, bleeding onto his tunic and then the oozing 'floor' beneath him. He gave a demonic smile and clutched the Adonis with both hands of Escaflowne. Lightning flashed all around, granting Escaflowne more strength and widening the gap inside the clouds. "**Van.**"  
"I know, Escaflowne."

"I know."_  
__You'll be leaving everything behind, including him.  
_"I can't stay here."___  
__So are you running away Hitomi? Trying to escape from all of this? Not ready for this pain?  
_"I never was ready for any of this and I can't change what I've done. If I stay..."_____  
__Then you'll be a victim of your own spell just like everyone else.  
_"I don't want that."

* * *

"What's this? No! Stop it! I don't want this! Get off of me!" Dilandau screamed trapped inside Adonis and within Escaflowne's grasp. His trump had failed and the cards set before him just ruined any chance of survival; he lost the game. "Van! Just who the hell are you?" No response. "Van!" Van was silent until he began to crush Adonis.

"I am a demon. I have fallen from the heavens and learned how to soar to my own heights." Escaflowne continued to crush Dilandau and the armor platings were being smashed onto his skin, piercing blood vessels and breaking bones. His pain was unbearable and the twisting and snapping of bones mixed in with the sound of his gushing blood was just overwhelming; any longer and he'd be dead right then and there. Just one more small push and he'd be killed. At his wit's end, everything stopped moving and he went into a painful spasm from his injuries and the fear of the unknown impending doom. Escaflowne ripped the head off of Adonis and left Dilandau unprotected and exposed to the outside. Van stepped outside of his own, blade pointing at his enemy.  
"**Van?**"  
"It's okay, Escaflowne. I know what I'm doing. I want to feel his blood on my own flesh and taste it with my own lips. This is what I want."

_Want? Do you know what you want?  
"_Truly. This time, I AM sure of it."_  
__What if you can never come back?  
_"Then I won't."___  
__What if you can never get there?  
_"I will. I want to see Van again."_____  
__And does he still want to see you?  
_"Somewhere. Somewhere deep inside I'm sure he does."

* * *

"**I'm sure you do, Van. Indulge yourself, fulfill your needs. And your desires.**"  
"I'm sure I'll do more than that, Escaflowne." Van said, letting his regal sword gleam under the purple energy flowing from Escaflowne.  
"Get out, Dilandau." Van told him, pressing the edge against his chin. "What are you still doing strapped inside there you little puke? Get out. Now!" He slashed the restraints holding Dilandau in and lifted him up by the neck, squeezing hard on his throat. Dilandau's hacks and coughs filled Van with joy. The look on his face was sinister, so much so that it even filled Dilandau with fear. The storm around them thundered, growing louder by every second and more violent with every lightning crash. The opening in the sky was now forming into a giant black void and its presence only fed Van's instinct to kill. Dilandau's eyes were as wide as they could be and whatever body parts he had left intact were quaking. The sweat dripped from his brow and fell onto Van's sword. With that, the blade broke Dilandau's skin and his blood ran down his neck and traced the end of Van's sword.

"This is all your fault, Dilandau! If it wasn't for you, Hitomi wouldn't have left me!"  
"**But you don't care about her, Van. Without her, you have no limits. None whatsoever.**"  
"What are you talking about?" "**Van, have you forgotten already? You hate her. You hate everything.**" There was a brief pause before Van did anything else.  
"Hate?" He looked at Dilandau and smiled. "I suppose I do." The sword pierced through Dilandau's neck splashing blood all over Van's face and tunic. He let the blade rest inside the neck for a few seconds before ripping it out and slicing off Dilandau's head. The blood gushing out of his body was refreshing, like being in a shower with the water set at the perfect temperature. This was it. He wanted this. The sky cracked open and an immense vacuum breathed from the dark void creating the Gate. This was it, Denieos would have his wish.

* * *

_So, do you know what this is?  
_"I thought this was real."_  
__And?  
_"This is a nightmare. As pleasurable as it may have been."___  
__But wasn't it beautiful? You'll be leaving everything and everyone behind.  
_"Lies. It was all lies. Everything I've experienced was false."

_So are you ready to wake up, Hitomi?  
_"Even if I'm not, I've been sleeping for far too long."_  
__Well? What are you still dreaming for? Wake up!_


	11. Chapter 11

**Nightmare Eleven: This is What You Wanted**

"Hitomi! Wake up!" The voice echoed in her ears as a pillar of light consumed her whole.

The Atlantis Gate that Escaflowne had finally opened was now trembling and breaking off into pieces. Van was not aware of this because Escaflowne had him suspended inside an alternate reality, inside its own realm. His body was outside of the armor standing on Escaflowne's hand, but it was covered in a dark black leaving him looking like a standing shadow. Dilandau's death was the final push that had sent Van over the edge and now Escaflowne had captured all of his soul, leading it into a downwards spiral of nothing but chaos and destruction. This realm was desolate and Van couldn't move one way or the other to walk out of it. Denieos, who had been watching the battle the entire time, was now actually sweating from seeing the Gate crumble. "What? What's going on? It's not supposed to do that! Just what's... What's going on from the other side?" The closing portal rumbled with a final burst of energy, a solo entity emerged out of it. "What? This is..."

Hitomi fell from the sky and instinctively closed her eyes to somehow 'brace' herself for the landing. _"Hitomi? What are you doing? One can't awake with shut eyes." _Hitomi slowly opened her eyes but almost gave in to the urge to close them again, she had no idea where she would fall. "Aaaah!" she screamed in the air now registering the danger. Her body crashed on top of Van's and she rose to her feet wincing a little in pain; Van was still stationary, the impact didn't even move him an inch.

"V-Van? Is that you?" Hitomi asked, running her hand down his cheek like she used to do for what seemed like an eternity ago. Hitomi either didn't see her surroundings or wasn't able to see them; her eyes were locked and totally focused on Van's. "Van? I'm back, darling. Although... I guess you'd have a hard time believing my words now, huh? I was wrong, Van. Horribly, horribly wrong! I just missed you so much and all my emotions got confused. That's no excuse for what I did but... Van, I am so sorry!" she took her hand off Van's cheek and pressed it against her breasts. "I was so stupid, Van! Such a..." A tear streaked across her face. "Van, I don't expect you to forgive me... I know I probably wouldn't... But Van please!" Hitomi pleaded, now searching around her seeing the dark skies and feeling pure evil flowing out of Escaflowne, leaving her with dread. "Please Van! I don't care what happens to me! Just... just..." she wiped away the tears in her eyes, "Just at least look at me one more time! Even if you never take me back into your arms, I still want to see your eyes and hear your voice once again! I don't even deserve that much! Please, Van! Find it in your heart to just give me a smile or a wave goodbye! I love you! I love you so deeply that it hurts like hell because of what I did! I don't ever wanna leave you again! Even if you never take me back, you'll be forever etched into my heart! I'm such a damn fool!"

Hitomi continued to eye her surroundings and her body felt cold and being in a tight red mini-skirt didnt really help any of that. Shivers raced up her spine and down into her arms. She cuddled herself to get warm and looked at the lifeless black shadow of Van and awaited his answer. She would have taken anything, even a no; just as long as she could hear him say it. Lightning flashed and struck directly behind Hitomi letting her know that Escaflowne did not appreciate her words and wanted her to leave immediately before the next strike fried that body of hers. She didn't have the smallest clue of what was going on, but a pressuring weight told her that she was at fault. For whatever it was. If she could just get through to Van, she knew everything would be okay. It was just like the other times. She hoped. She fell to her knees and started to cry even harder.

"Van! You mean so much to me and I had completely forgotten it until I nearly lost you forever! I was so close to being trapped inside my own nightmares forced to believe that they were what I wanted! That's not what I wanted! I want YOU, that's what I want! That's all I want! I don't care about anything else in this entire stupid universe! Wake up, Van! You don't have to be dreaming this anymore! Wake up! I love you! Wake up! Van!" Hitomi hugged the inanimate shadowed Van and sunk inside the black. Dazed, she looked all around and could only see a barren gray wasteland with charred trees and blackened soil. This place, whatever it was, was dark and gloomy. The sorrow that hung in the air crushed her to her knees being under the weight. Visions of demons and death all circled around her and she could hear the neverending tormented screams of disembodied souls being carried in the howling wind. Random blood patterns sprayed in the air like they were actually oozing down an invisble wall and dripped onto the surface, creating numerous pools and leaving the fresh scent of unknown and unseen carnage. The overwhelming force pressing against Hitomi was incredible, nothing like she had ever felt before from Escaflowne. She had awaken from her own nightmares but now she found herself deep inside of Van's. "This dream is far from over."

Denieos tore the Pendant off his neck in extreme angst and frustration. What good was that bloody thing if when it resonated with Escaflowne, the Gate wouldn't open? He was so close, too. Only a few more seconds and he would have been able to fly through the portal. True, watching that epic battle between the two Titans had been outstanding and the Stone shone with a warm brilliance in approval. That half-breed was now overtaken by Escaflowne's shadow and that wretched Hitomi was melded into him. She ruined everything and he even made sure that her wish had a strong foundation on hatred and thought he had kept her chained to them, letting her drown in lustful desires with no chance of coming up for air. That hatred would have an effect on Van, causing him to fall into power and extreme darkness. However, she managed to break free and rise to the surface, awaking to reality. What was the cause? His attack on her must have backfired; he thought for sure it would make her despise everything and even unlocking the Amano memory should have pushed her farther. He had visions of it, forseen her destiny. "But destiny..." Destiny will always be final, but only the true destiny; the one that was meant to be. The future could never be known even with the greatest of magics, but it could be influenced.

"Free will," Denieos said clenching his fist and flapping his red wings. Hitomi's wish was supposed to coincide with Van's, having the two hate each other and turn the Key. That annoying will of hers had discovered what was really going on and her emotions switched to the extreme opposite. This had made the Gate unstable and fall apart because their choices collided into each other, causing the unbalance. Hate never works well with love. That free will of hers caused the whole trouble, vile humans and their ugly pointless emotions. He loathed the human race and that's what made Van a worm. One's existence should only be to dominate, not waste time with petty matters and unfounded 'moral' decisions. That's what made Atlantis fall in the first place: Deciding to befriend that worthless race. It was true that Atlanteans were once humans themselves, but over centuries of studying magic, alchemy, and technology, they were finally able to exchange their own wills for ultimate power and even create their own world separate from Earth, with their own rules and freedoms. The Pendants of Atlantis also held this power, to convert one's will into reality. That was the sole reason Atlantis had thrived as a major power for thousands of years and was even written into the legends of mankind.

Denios forsook the insane idea of defining and drawing a line between what was good and what was evil and just took whatever he wanted. His race used to be like that too, waring over the countless ages only to attain power and dominance. And he loved it, bathing his wings in his enemies' blood until they were stained a dark red. The Atlanteans who chose peace because of the humans' influence kept their wings white, which was what disgusted Denieos about Van. But now, like Folken, Van's wings had turned black and his heart very evil. Strange how Escaflowne, something that had been built as a symbol of peace between the Earth and Gaea would even cause Van to behave this way. Escaflowne was originally built by both the Atlanteans and humans once they realized their wars were killing their races at a tremendous rate. Only a creature who held both Atlantean and human blood would have been able to control Escaflowne as the final symbolic unity of peace between the two, but Escaflowne had also been built with weaponry just in case the rare and not-wanted chance the worlds would fight again. The one inside Escaflowne would be able to put an end to the war, ending the conflict since the person inside would have been torn between the two, having family members on both sides being killed from the fighting.

That never happened, unfortunately. Denieos himself despised the idea of the mighty civilization of Atlantis being all buddy-buddy with a pathetic weakling race such as the humans and he was the one who banished it into a realm filled with malice and hatred. Escaflowne breathed in that air and for thousands of years had been very lonely. It wasn't until Hitomi came to Gaea where it was allowed to be freed. Her Pendant, being the same from Atlantis given to her by her grandmother, was perhaps the strongest one of all and with her confusion, emotion, and unique power of destiny, she was able to call forth Escaflowne and it immediately took to Van.

Denieos wanted to see Atlantis regain its former unsurpassed might and to bring together the Mystic Moon and Gaea for the final fight: Eradicate humanity and give birth to more Atlanteans by using Atlantis' final secret sanctum and the forbidden power enshrined inside. It had all come together so far, but that girl ruined everything when the time had come. "I'll break you Hitomi!" He would bend her, twist her, amputate her. Anything he could do to nullify that strong human will. She still held the power to control fate up to a certain point and that power was needed combined with Escaflowne to reopen the door.

It had been sealed off after Atlantis' destruction and only the power of Escaflowne could ever open it. Since that Guymelef was evil, it was essential that Van needed to be as well. He was. He had full ability to control all of Escaflowne; the power he wanted. Hitomi's unique gift even though much of it had to do with that Pendant, still resided in her and it was unlike any other for it could actually change fate in an instant. Fate never truly had a single 'master' but Hitomi was able to guide it certain distances. In the end, however, the real fate would always be revealed outside of all the falsities. Still though, Hitomi did hold the power to permanently alter fate into her choosing if it had gone that far. Fate was always composed of choices and unseen futures. Even though a certain fate was _supposed_ to happen, if it was warped far enough and long enough, the choices humans would make would totally send their fate into a whole new direction.

Escaflowne's power mixed in with Hitomi's could still unlock the Gate and he wanted to see that glorious light from his lost kingdom. He would do it, too. He had already overtaken Yukari and her choices placed her in the hands of both Escaflowne and his own. Just like Hitomi had, Yukari had fallen asleep in a fake reality, led to believe that everything happening was what she wanted. Even if it was worlds away from what she truly loved and longed for. In this aspect, perhaps Hitomi's grandmother was correct.

"_Hitomi, humans have the most amazing ability."  
_"_Really? What's that Grandma?"  
_"_Humans have the power to take their wishes to the stars and make them come true."_

Yukari held her hands over her mouth in shock from the sight set before her eyes. She had been in hiding this entire time watching the fight and the fire that once surrounded her kept her from getting near to Van. Kinda sucked, really. Here she was wanting to get all hot with Van but then the idiot decides to fight some insane fruitcake inside a pinkish-red Guymelef. Thanks to that jerk, her man was fighting some meaningless battle. Who cared if the stupid city was on fire?

_Woah there, Yukari. Whaddia talkin' about? You know why he's doing this! To protect you! And everyone else! He's defending this city. Chill. _Yukari smiled at herself after realizing that and spoke aloud to herself this time. "Yeah well I guess that's right. Boy didn't need to smash all of these buildings though, he's lucky I didn't die because of all that!" She locked her gaze on the shadowed Van and just stood there thinking about him. "Was this the power you were talking about, Van? It's so amazing! I'm sure you can have your revenge now!" She noticed that all the fire around her had been extinguished by the black rain still falling from the sky. "Black rain? Cool."

Confused on how to respond to the strange scene, she just stayed in her little shelter and stared at it. Escaflowne had released that crazy guy's Guymelef thing and it was already destroyed into millions of fragments all over the ground. Escaflowne himself was still suspended in the air with his black wings still dripping with blood flapping keeping him airborne. Both his hands were held out like he was giving a present and had Van standing in them, exactly like a black lifeless statue.

This was all cool, but she was still getting quite agitated. "Van! Get down from there you loser! You have that power now! What about me? I told you that you could have me already! Hitomi had her lay, where's mine?" Hitomi. That was the one word Van would always speak whenever Yukari asked him that question. It frustrated her so much, too. She couldn't have been more blatant about her advances unless if she walked straight up to him bare-naked. It wasn't like she hadn't thought about that, either. At times, she almost did. She used to have a lot more respect over the human body than that and that reason was usually the one that refrained her from doing anything that stupid. She was even surprised with herself. She had never thought about that before while she was with Amano. Shoot, she blushed whenever he saw her in her track shorts. Getting all natural would have pretty much given her a heart attack. Amazing thing was, she knew that she wasn't being herself. At times she felt like a puppet being led by a string and other times where she was the puppet master. But, hey. As long as it was this good and got much better, she didn't really care. Even if it was wrong, she'd still go through with it. Hitomi messed her up, her family were nothing but asses and if she stayed here with Van, there wasn't anything she could possibly lose. Well, there was _one_ thing she'd lose. But she wanted to give it to him. Besides, she knew that if she stayed with Van, he would gain more power, he would become more stable. Greater. More power; that was his whole purpose, right? The only reason he had gotten this far was to protect her. Well her and everyone else, but she knew that he wanted to protect her and no matter how 'wrong' it might feel along the way, the means will always justify the end. It always had. In her mind at least.

Whenever she would look into his eyes, she would see her reflection and she knew that he wanted to save her. He couldn't save Millerna, but she knew that he wanted to save her. Wanted her too. He had to. Yeah, that was right. She couldn't care less about modesty now. And now since she personally saw Van defeat this maniac, he must have already achieved his desired goal and now there wouldn't be anything in her way to stop her. Nothing at all except for...

"Hitomi."  
"Hitomi? Van! You hate her! I hate her! You know what she did?"  
"Yeah. I can't forget that, Yukari."  
"Then why? I'm yours! Take me!"  
"I can't."  
"How come? You're really starting to piss me off, you know that?"  
"I don't care. Go piss somewhere else then."

That conversation was brought back into her mind from a week ago and she couldn't believe she was still thinking about it. If he didn't want to have all of her, then why she should she bother giving herself to him? Why? Because she still wanted to. Whatever spell she fell into on this world was perfectly fine with her and if it could last forever, she didn't care what happened. She started to step out into the air, becoming drenched with the black rain. That traitor best friend of hers had the nerve to come back to Gaea and fall straight into Van's arms. After taking Amano, at that. What a slut. It was a good thing Escaflowne seemed to have a control over Van and he didn't even notice Hitomi, but she somehow got inside of him, probably inside of Escaflowne too. She could do that too, right? "You bet I can!" Yukari shouted as she ran towards the armor even though it was still floating in the air. "Van! Wake up you moron! I'm down here! Quit screwing around!" The rain started to fall heavier and she noticed that every drop that hit her skin turned the area black as night. "What the–" The rain overpowered Yukari and her whole body was frozen just like Van's into a black motionless figurine.

* * *

"**I LOVE YOU!" **Van heard Hitomi's voice cry out into the dismal air. Hitomi? Who was she again? How did he recognize that name?  
"Leave me alone, I don't know who you are." Van's words echoed into the atmosphere. He was bodiless, detached from everything hidden within the shrouds of this dark realm. The blood stains danced around Hitomi and formed themselves into mysterious humanoid shapes; all with mouths gaping and sagging arms pointing directly at her heart. Their gutteral voices shattered her focus and thoughts on Van and she, already being on her knees, crashed to the surface placing her arm on the ground for a small amount of leverage. The gravity in this area was ridicously huge as it was, and now their... whatever they were doing, was pushing her even farther into the charred ground. Her tears soaked into the gray dirt and her arm crumpled back, almost locking it out of socket.  
"Aah!" Hitomi screamed, bringing the arm into her stomach and shaking her leg. "Why are you doing this, Van?"

"I don't know you. Just fade away."

Hitomi pushed herself up slowly and swatted the bloody figures away with her hands in fear. "Get away from me!" They tore in half as her fingers swiped through and the remnants dissipated into the air as red streaks; just like it when a hand moves through the water. Her hand twitched and became cold afterwards and she let her arm hang down like it was limp. "Van, where are you? I love you Van, I want to see you!" She was in pain, but pressed forward looking all around the desolate gray surreality. Every step she took left a bloody footprint and ghostly images of the dead were in constant momentum. She took notice of those ethereal bodies and two of them really stood out: Dilandau and Millerna.

"M-Millerna? Van? Did you... kill her too?" The two shifted back and forth on one foot to the other and stalked Hitomi, slowly coming her way. Hitomi was paralyzed in fear and the ghosts took advantage of her immobility and twisted themselves around her on both her left and right sides. Their ghastly bodies wrapped around her felt deathly cold, like being trapped inside an ice coffin. She held her arms to her chest to keep herself warm but the faces of both Dilandau and Millerna stared at her with hatred and she had to swipe them away. Nothing. Of course it didn't work, they were already dead. Dead? No way, were they _really_ souls?

"Hitomi, I missed you. Where were you Hitomi?" Millerna hissed.  
"Hey there, Hitomi. I was wondering that too. About time you came back," Dilandau joined in, grimacing. Hitomi tried to run but she was constricted by the two and was forced to stand.  
"Where have you been, Hitomi? It's been very lonely without you. I wanted you to do another reading for me."  
"Reading? That damn power of yours is what caused all of this! You always saw through Zaibach's plans!" Dilandau's head moved over Hitomi's face and recoiled back to its former position. That left her cold, even worse off than before. She didn't have any feeling in her skin now, she was totally limp.

"Hitomi? Remember when you laid your cards on the floor and told me my future with Dryden? You still wanted Allen then too, remember? Your confusion almost killed me then! My poor beloved Dryden... he held me in his broken arms while I was still bleeding from that attack on our wedding day."  
"Aha! Yes! I remember that one! We had Astoria where we wanted her at that point, your false reading actually made everything worse. The exact opposite happened if I recall, instead of wishing her happiness, your confused and selfish heart allowed us to come in for the kill. The bloodbath was just so refreshing. Thank you for that, Hitomi. Thank you."

"No! I didn't mean to do that! Believe me!" Hitomi responded crying.  
"Not your fault? Stupid girl! That was a vision of things to come! My castle was destroyed and..." Millerna stopped in dead silence to see how Hitomi would react. "Millerna?"  
"Van killed me."  
"Haha, you too? He killed me as well," Dilandau smirked.  
"What? No! Van! Where are you! Van!"

Dilandau constricted tighter and Millerna locked eyes with Hitomi. "The sword went right through me, Hitomi. No hesitation, no remorse. All he wanted was to kill somebody. I could see it in his eyes before I died. I fell to the floor a bloody mess and smashed onto the tiles. I was already dead. Dryden, my poor, poor Dryden held me in his arms yet once again. But this time... I wasn't able to speak or even smile at him. That was it. It's all your fault Hitomi! Playing around with fate!"  
"He killed me too, Hitomi. Lopped my head clean off my body. Was a gruesome death, even for him. I hate that man but he couldn't have killed me more beautifully. It's all your fault, Hitomi."

The two both moved their heads to the front of her face and spoke at the same time, "It's all your fault Hitomi! All your fault!"  
"No! This is not what I wanted! Forgive me! I don't want Van killing anybody! This wasn't supposed to happen! I just want to see him! I made so many mistakes but I still love him! So let me go!"

"It _is_ all your fault, Hitomi," said a familiar voice from behind. At her sound, the spirits of Millerna and Dilandau left her and she stood looking at her ex-best friend.  
"Yukari! What are you doing here? You dead too? No! Don't tell me that you've been killed and... and..."  
"Killed? Like you'd even care you whore!"  
"Whore?" _Yukari, you don't mean..._

"I know what you did! You stole my Amano! You already had Van!" Yukari took a swing at Hitomi and her punch landed right into Hitomi's mouth. She spat out the blood and looked at her friend with sorrowful eyes.  
"Oh Yukari, you've been here this whole time? I'm sorry, although an apology can hardly make right the things I've done."  
"You stay away from Van, you got it?"  
"Van? Yukari, you...?"

Yukari threw another punch and knocked over Hitomi onto her back. "Yeah! Van chose me, not you! And you..." Yukari jumped on top of Hitomi and punched her head repeatedly. "You were able to sleep with both! I haven't even gotten there yet! You're such a traitor Hitomi! What the hell kind of friend even does that? You took Amano from me and now Van doesn't give a crap! This is all your fault, Hitomi! **All **your fault! You should..." Yukari stopped the beating for a moment and then punched her in the gut. "You should just die!"

Hitomi remained silent and gasped for air coughing up all the blood in her mouth and standing back up.  
"What? Say something! I hate you Hitomi! Why did you come back? I don't want to see you! I'm in here with Van, got it? Get out of Escaflowne! This is MY world! I don't want you in here!"

"Your world? Yukari! You're in a false reality! You–"  
Yukari kicked her friend in the stomach and toppled her over.  
"Yu-Yukari..." _What are you doing, Hitomi? You could always hit her back. C'mon! You don't deserve getting beat up so badly! She didn't have the goods, but you did. Not your fault she couldn't get some. She can't even make them scream out her name like you did.  
_Hitomi stayed on the ground and curled herself into a ball. Those weren't her thoughts. Weren't her thoughts anymore, that is. It was this realm; extracting the darkness from any who dared enter. It had Yukari so bad, Hitomi had never seen her friend like this. Even when her parents showed less care than they normally would, Hitomi never saw Yukari freak this much.  
"What's the matter, Hitomi? You done?" Hitomi stumbled back onto her feet holding her chest in pain.  
"Yukari... I don't want to hit you. I DO deserve this. I know it sounds cliché, but saying I'm sorry isn't going to be good enough. Go ahead Yukari, it just hurts so much..."

"What? You just gonna stand there and let me hit you? I'll kill you! Put up a fight you piece of trash!"  
"Yukari! No! Wake up, will you? This isn't real!" Hitomi shouted, spitting out more blood.  
"Isn't real? It's real enough to hurt you, that's for sure."  
"Yeah, it IS hurting me, Yukari. You have no idea how unbearable this is! I betrayed you! Betrayed my only love and..."

The air around them shook and sent both to their knees. The clouds started to bleed and the thick liquid poured onto their bodies. **"Get out,"** Called an omnious threatening voice. **"Fade away, Hitomi. Just fade away."  
**Hitomi was drenched, but she wouldn't give up; she couldn't stand seeing Van in this manner.  
"Van! Oh my dear Van! You have no idea how much I love you! I ruined everything because I acted like a child! And at that time, I can't lie Van, it felt so good. My dark passions I didn't even know about rose to the surface and they guided me into a forbidden fantasy! One I never thought I'd want! I felt so alive, Van. I really did. But then, when it all came down, when those dreams were shattered by the truth to show me what I truly wanted, I knew that it was you! I'm not asking you to forgive me, Van. From what I did, the most I can expect is closure. I just want to hear it from your own voice! Not this angry, hateful one! Van! Please! I need you, Van! I am so much in love with you! Please!"

"Love me? Who are you? I really don't care."

"Van? You've forgotten about me already?"  
_And Van... For all I care, you and Yukari can just stay worlds away. _Those words haunted her memory and she started to tremble realizing that what she said came true.  
"I see... So you have forgotten about me then."

Yukari laughed at Hitomi and crossed her arms throwing her head back. "See Hitomi? He doesn't care about you. This is what you wanted, you even said it. Just go back to that playboy Amano. I don't care about him after what he did. You two seem perfect for each other."  
"Yukari, Amano... is different. My reading and selfishness turned him into an abusive person. He was never like that, probably the best gentleman on campus! And he forget about you because... Well because I made him do that. But the reading was a mistake! I meant to come back to Van! But I was so confused and when it happened, I was sucked in! Yukari!"

"Hitomi, just shut your filthy hole. **You** stay worlds away! I don't want to see you, he doesn't want to see you, I don't even care if you die."  
"Yukari, this is not you! This false reality is tearing you asunder!"  
"Like I said, I don't really care." Yukari made a slitting of the throat motion with her hand and faded into black shadow, exiting the realm. Hitomi cried after hearing her friend say that and didn't know what to do. An infinite amount of ghostly bodies surrounded her and wailed incoherent deep gutteral sounds. They were sucking the very life out of her bones and she stood there with only one thought, "Help me." At the same time, she heard another soft-spoken voice in the air mirroring her feelings. It was the voice of a frightened little boy.

"Hitomi! Help me!"


	12. Chapter 12

**Nightmare Twelve: Just Fade Away**

"Hitomi...Please...Help...Me..."  
"Van? Is that you? Where are you Van?"  
"I don't know," the child's voice responded.  
"Can you hear me, Van?" The apparitions drew closer to Hitomi and the looming fear above her head was traveling down into her skin.

"**Why should I listen?"** A demonic voice countered her question.

"I can't answer that. I don't even have the right to talk to you after what I've done."

"**Then why are you here and why do you speak? I don't know you." **The ghosts moved in closer and were just an arm's length away from her face.  
"Van? Have you really forgotten about me? Even after what we've shared?"

"But you lied to me, Hitomi!" cried the young boy.  
Hitomi began to cry as well from his words and the moving bodies stood their ground, encircling her.  
"No! I didn't mean to Van! I–"  
"Stop lying! I hate you!"  
"But I love you!" _Hitomi, let it go. Remember? 'Even if it's a No.' _"No! This is not Van's voice! This isn't him!" The spirits around her oozed into a red sludge and took the shape of a circle, leaving her bound in the middle.  
"Hitomi? Why are you so mean? I thought we were friends! What do you mean, 'This isn't me'?"

_Moron! The Van I know isn't such a whiny little prick! _"Van! I know this isn't you! You don't desire death!" _Oh but come on, Hitomi. What are you talking about? Isn't that type of power sexy? You know you still want it. Abandon this ridiculous attempt to get right. It's not worth it._

"**What are you thinking about, woman?" **The circle of blood confined Hitomi with nearly invisible chains and she couldn't move any limbs of her body. They wrapped tight around her ankles and wrists and her blood squeezed out, dripping onto the blood pool underneath her. "I'm trying to figure out what happened to my Van!" Hitomi yelped, feeling the pain.  
**"YOUR Van? You told him to fade away into the farthest corners of your mind!"  
**_And stay there!_ Were the words she immeditately recalled, finishing that sentence. "Stop blaming me! It hurts! I know what I did, okay?"

_Blame? You don't deserve any blame. That was so much fun.  
Blame? Yes, you deserve every last bit of it._

The chains tightened and Hitomi heard her wrist crack. **"It hurts, huh? Well, good for you. You deserve this."** Hitomi winced, but didn't lose her focus. "I probably do, but I don't want to hear it from your voice! I wanna hear Van's! My Van!"

"But Hitomi... Don't you know me?" the child asked her timidly and heavy-laden.  
"Van!"

"**Van? He is not listening to you," **Escaflowne's voice thundered.  
"That's right, Hitomi. You didn't want to play with me."

"Van! Please! Let me see you!"

"**Get off it, vile woman! I'm not Van."  
**"Then who are you?" Hitomi screamed, sorrow filling her lungs.  
**"Who am I? I am Escaflowne and Van is dead. His will no longer exists and we speak as one."**

"He's so cool, Hitomi! He lets me have so much fun!" Exclaimed the boyish Van, sounding like a kid who just received a present.**  
"And I enjoy having it with him." **Escaflowne's voice grew brash, letting Hitomi know that he had Van. All of Van.  
"Unlike you, Hitomi. You broke your promise to me!"  
"My promise?"  
"See? You're cold! You forgot it already! Meanie! You said that we'd always be together! And now I'm..."  
"Oh Van..."  
"Burning! It's so hot in here, Hitomi! Aren't you going to help me? Everybody around me... They're dying, everybody's on fire! Mommy and Daddy are dead too!"

"Dead?"  
"The castle is burning! Save me! I don't want to be here!"

"**Shut up you weakling! Stop acting like such a child!"  
**"But don't you love me?"

"**Of course. But you're acting weak. A strong boy like yourself should get past that memory."  
**Van could be heard sniffling, "But!"

"**Van, do their deaths make you vengeful? Do they make you strong? And Millerna?"  
**"They do. But I can still see them! Can you see them too, Hitomi?"  
The blood that trapped and surrounded Hitomi spread out and inflamed. The dancing fires shaped themselves into orange-red humanoid figures. In the dead center, the remaining blood spatter twirled upwards and exposed the grotesque body of Millerna; with all of her wounds showing and bleeding. Hitomi gasped in horror and found no words to say.

"What's the matter, Hitomi? You don't think I look pretty?" Millerna asked, swaying her hip to the side and placing her hand on it. Hitomi remained silent. "No? Well what's wrong with how I look? Dryden liked it. Allen liked it too. You remember him, don't you? Doesn't he also remind you of somebody else?"  
"Mill–" An outstretched arm caught Hitomi's neck, rendering her sentence short. "You're quite the selfish brat, aren't you?" Millerna's words cut deep and sounded harsh. "After all I've done for you..."

_Allen, you say? Yeah, he was cute alright. Reminds me of Amano too, you're right. That was just..._

"Wrong!" Hitomi shout out trying to put those thoughts to death. She was past those; she didn't want any of it. But why were they still there? Escaflowne? Somebody else?  
"Denieos," Millerna said, clamping tighter making Hitomi cough.  
"Who?" Hitomi managed to stutter. Millerna's wounds on her arm bled out and the stream followed the path and trickled down Hitomi's neck. It made her squirm, it felt so warm; and cold at the same time. The fiery bodies spread themselves out into a wide circle, outlining both Millerna and Hitomi as a big wall of fire. The heat made Hitomi sweat and the blood running down Millerna's arm wouldn't cease.  
"I'll give you that much, Hitomi. Denieos is at fault too. That's why Van wanted to kill him," the flames burst chaotically into larger pillars, "but he killed me instead, you know. That's still your fault. You made me look like this!" Millerna's hand squeezed extremely hard and the arm recoiled from the other end, drawing her closer to Hitomi. With her hand still clutched, Millerna looked Hitomi in the face and forced her to do the same.

"Look at me, Hitomi!"  
"Yeah! Look at her, Hitomi! She's so nice and pretty! Just like Mommy!" Van's childhood spoke.  
"Now, tell me, don't you think this fire is pretty? Just like me?" Dilandau's voice interceded Millerna's and overpowered her sound. His face twisted inside Millerna's and made a swirling motion starting in the middle until his face dominated over top.

"Hey hot stuff! Is my face pretty, too?" he asked stroking the scar on his left cheek. "You remember this scar, don't you?"  
_Yeah, now shut up about it you moron! One tiny scratch! Baby. Wuss. Weakling.  
_"Umm, y-yeah?" Hitomi answered the question, barely able to talk while the apparition's hand was still on her neck.  
"Of course you do! You visioned me killing Van and you stepped in to prevent it. He gave me this scar, but it was still all your fault."

Van's boyish and scared spirit joined in the conversation, still as a bodiless voice. "This whole thing has been your fault!"  
"All your fault!" Millerna's voice screamed out of Dilandau's mouth.

"I don't want to play with you anymore!"  
"I don't want to be your friend anymore!"  
"I don't want to see you alive anymore!"

"Anymore. Anymore. Anymore. This is all your fault!"

Hitomi, still grappled by Dilandau's fingers, tried to wiggle free, but was still rendered motionless. It was useless. _Hitomi! Next time wear something better! That dumb tight dress of yours is really not helping! _Dilandau's scar began to bleed, just like it had when he was first cut. "How do I look now, Hitomi? Do you want me too?" Everything within Hitomi's soul and body felt excrutionating pain, a writhing feeling she just wanted to escape from. The emotional burdens that were being stacked on top of her felt so heavy that her legs should have been crushed from the weight, but the only thing stopping that event was her being confined against her will. The physical pain was great too, she had no idea how much longer she could hold out. All her bad and unwanted thoughts were coming back to her and she was positive it had to be this realm; it was forcing the evil out of anyone who dared enter. Her, Yukari, even Van. There was something about these 'souls' as well; an eerie feeling that told her that it couldn't be true, a falsity of some kind about them.

"You want me too, Hitomi?"

"**Answer him, coward!"** Escaflowne threatened but Hitomi could also feel a hint of Van's own anger behind it. She was frightened beyond belief, but everything that was happening and happened was also beyond belief. _Hitomi, stop being such a pathetic coward._

"_Get out of my head! Where's my true voice?"  
Why do you care? I'm still a strong part of you._  
"_You ruined me!"  
You listened to me._  
"_You used me! I was confused! You made everything seem so beautiful when it turned out ugly!"  
You still looked._  
"_Go away! That wasn't me!"  
Angry, Hitomi? That's me talking._  
"_No! It's not! I can be angry! I'll use that energy for something good!"  
What I gave you __was__ good!_

Hitomi looked at Dilandau and gave a flirty smile. "Yeah I want you," she spat in his face even though the saliva passed right through, "I want you to die!"  
_Die, Hitomi? What kinda talk is that? Sounds a lot like me._  
"_Hmm, a little yes, but at least you've given me more strength to find the resolve to look for truth and ignore the opposite."  
So I forced you into fending for yourself, eh?_  
"_Yes, or else you would have defeated me already."  
You think you can still win? That was a hell of a thing to say._  
"_He's Van's enemy. I can be true to myself and fight against my foes."  
You need my help?_  
"_Why should I even take it?"_

_Because my gentle voice won't be strong enough, Hitomi. I'll need her too._ Hitomi heard her other self proclaim.

"**You can't win, child! Van will not listen to you!" **Blared Escaflowne.  
"I'm scared, Hitomi! Help me!" begged the little Van. Dilandau kept his vision on Hitomi and squeezed her neck until blood came out of her mouth; any farther and she'd be killed.  
"Die? You stupid girl! Look at me! I'm already dead!"

Hitomi felt some strength return to her and slowly lifted up her arms and braced them on Dilandau's. "If you're dead, then why do you haunt Van's mind? Escaflowne is drawing out his thoughts, memories, and guilt into malacious devils! You are not real! Just go away!" Dilandau noticed his fingers losing their hold and he wasn't able to clamp back down. "What are you telling me, girl?" Dilandau asked.  
"Are you saying that I'm not real?" Millerna continued, phasing out of Dilandau's body and into her own ethereal form.

"Not like, this! No! You guys aren't real at all!" Hitomi coughed, but she was able to mouth her words easier now that Dilandau's grasp had loosened, "Everyone here isn't real! Just torments of Van's mind and Van's pain!" The fires around her wailed and dispersed into smoke. Millerna closed in and knelt down, latching onto Hitomi's legs.  
"You're not escaping Hitomi. Not after what you've done."

_She's right, you know. You're too weak to move.  
Come on, Hitomi! I wouldn't say it like she did, but it's true. Don't fail me, you're a good girl!_

"**A good girl would have never done what you did."**  
Hitomi spat out some more blood, "You're correct Escaflowne, but I'm not bad enough to stay here either."

_No, you're not! Come on Hitomi, break free! You came here for a reason!  
Bad? Good? Tell me the truth, Hitomi. I've seen your mind and I know. You better believe I know._  
"_I know that too. You were my Rebellion. In a way, yes, it was fun; but that fun was masked and it was terribly wrong. I hated it when I thought that I loved it. There's only one thing I love now..."  
So you admit that you had a good time with me then?_  
"_It feels horrible now, but in order to get past this, I have to be real and not all innocent. If I never left, it would have been fun and I probably wouldn't have even cared."  
And now?_

"**And now you can't escape! You will never leave!"**

_That's wrong. You know you were wrong. Am I wrong?_  
"_No, you never were. You were my Heart."  
So you rebelled against me because...?_  
"_Because your voice was too much to bare. I desperately missed Van. All my emotions were balled up inside and knowing that I loved him but could never see him only made things worse. That's why I tried to block you out."_

_And that's why you talked to me._  
"_Yes."  
But you know what?_  
"_What?"  
Rebellion can only take you so far. Eventually you will find the truth and it will hit you hard. You've found it and I can't mislead you any farther. You've already left this trail, despite what I tried to tell you. I want to come back too, Hitomi. Will you let me reach your heart?_

Dilandau's hand loosened some more but Hitomi could still feel his freezing touch through his fingernails. Her arms were still holding on, but she was unable to move him. Millerna's hold tightened when Dilandau's loosened and Hitomi could feel a sharp pain in her thighs. She had wanted to go back to Gaea ever since she left and now wasn't the return she had expected. Millerna mentioned someone by the name of 'Denios' but Hitomi didn't know who that was and what significance he held. It did make a little more sense, though; she always felt that somebody might have been 'behind the scenes' forcing her decisions. Whoever it was, she wasn't all that concerned for the moment. All she cared about now was Van and being able to see him. The _real_ him. If that Denieos guy was behind this, it meant that she wasn't fully responsible. She knew her actions played a large part of it, but that still brought her some hope knowing that she may have not been completely at fault. She still held a connection with Van after all she had done and he could still be saved. Hitomi grasped Dilandau's arm and was able to pull it away from her neck, but couldn't move it any farther than a few inches. The two of them stood there in a frozen position and her legs lost all feeling. She wasn't able to kick Millerna off and she hated all of it. Something like this should have never happened and even though it seemed like it wasn't _all_ her fault, it sure felt like it still was. Dilandau's bleeding face continued to stare at Hitomi while Millerna held a cold smile. Hitomi hated all of this and just wanted it all to simply leave. To just fade away.

_Hitomi? Will you let me reach your heart? _The voice of Rebellion repeated. _"Will you taint it again?"  
Hmmm... Perhaps? But not this time. And not with him. You stand strong and I can't move you. And... Sometimes... I can act stupid too. I miss him as well.  
Listen to her, Hitomi. And listen to me. Let her in, we can give you the strength to live your dream._

"Are you sure?" Hitomi spoke out loud. That startled Dilandau and loosened Millerna's clutch. She could hear Escaflowne's voice mixing in with Van's telling her that she'll never leave; that she deserved to die. She didn't deserve to die, she wasn't going to die. She would be going into Van's arms yet once again and this time it would be forever. She looked at Dilandau with steel-cold eyes and that struck him with confusion.

"_Are you sure? I don't want to make another mistake."  
Yes, she's telling the truth Hitomi. I know._  
"_But what if I rebel?"  
Rebel? Yes, you will probably rebel, I'm always inside of you. But for today, we will rebel against those who stand in our way. Who stand in front of our desires, our true desires.  
Your true desires, Hitomi. That's what I've always tried to tell you. For the first time in your life, let the voice of your Heart and the voice of your Rebellion speak together and act as one. Will this be your resolve, Hitomi?_

"No. This is OUR resolve!" Hitomi felt a surge of power flow throughout her entire body and literally snapped the arm off of Dilandau, its blood trail dissipating into a cloud of white smoke. She kicked Millerna and her twisted memory wisped into smoke. "Dilandau, you were the one who deserved to die. You were a constant thorn in Van's side and I am glad you are gone. Millerna, what happened to you was indeed tragic, but it was never Van's fault. Your warped presence here was never your own; just a lie made by Escaflowne to keep him in this realm. You were always kind to me no matter what I did. You would never say those words to me and you guys aren't real here. You're only the residue from Van's tortured mind and heart! You hear that, Escaflowne? You are keeping Van locked in a trance, keeping him in a state of eternal depression! Forcing all his guilt, rage, and confusion all into one! Get this straight you hunk of crap: The ONLY one that's gonna keep Van for an eternity is ME! Give! Him! Back!" Hitomi yelled, slashing at the bodiless vapors with her arms.

"You can''t have my Van! Van!"  
A young child, scared, voiced his words like one in the midst of raging flames, "H-H-Hitomi..." his translucent body appeared and hung in mid-air in front and above Hitomi, his mouth quivering from the invisible heat and his body shaking. "Save me Hitomi! It's so hot in here! It's burning! I don't like it! Everybody's dead! And Folken..."  
"Oh Van, honey, it's okay."  
"No it's not! Folken..." the boy started to cry and Hitomi could see the crystal-clear water droplets fall to the ground. "Folken is dead, Van. He saved your life, remember?"  
"He killed Dornkirk and saved all of Gaea, but...he... He killed my Mommy and Daddy!"  
"He was controlled by Dornkirk and Zaibach, Van! Please! Just wake up darling! Okay?"

The ethereal child's spirit floated down and studied Hitomi. "Wake up? I'm too scared! I don't know what I'll see! Everything's burning..."  
"Van, you can stop crying now. This isn't like you at all. I promise you, if you take my hand, I'll lead you out of the fire and we will walk through those flames together."  
"Promise? Will you break it again? I miss you Hitomi." Hitomi placed her hand over her heart in brutal agony from his question. "Never. You're my beloved, Van. Took me long enough to figure that one out, but you're the only one I want! The only one I need. I will never break another promise to you again!"

_That's right, Hitomi! Tell it how it is! Show Escaflowne you mean business! Show Van just how much you love him! How you can't live without him!_

"Van, take my hand. I love you so much. So much that it destroys me from the inside out whenever I can't see you; and I haven't seen you, two years too long. Far too long. They seemed like an eternity. You don't have to be afraid, I'll always be with you. Come with me Van, and we can fly away." The boy cocked his head and wiped away his tears. He phased in and out, losing his own will as Escaflowne tried to consume him whole. He smiled, but held back his hand in hesitation. He opened his mouth and spoke with the combined voice of his younger self and his adult self. "Fly? But Hitomi, my wings are stained black. Same color as Folken's. It is much too late for me. Just give up on me and forget about me."

"Give up? Forget? The hell kinda talk is that? Stop acting stupid! You asked me to help you! You're so full of contradictions that they're tearing you apart! That almost happened to me! I'm rock solid now, but I can see right through you. You'll die, Van."  
He spoke as an adult still in the child's form, "But Hitomi! You don't understand! I don't think you can! My heart and my soul are stained with the blood of the innocent and more."  
"Van!" Hitomi yelled, clenching her fist and scowling, "Come off it, will you? If you were stained, you wouldn't still be aware or even care about it! Folken saved himself, you can too! And you will LIVE in doing so! Remember what he told you?"

The voice of Folken resounded in Van's ears.  
"I'm already dead Van. I've forsaken my own wings and my own people. But you, Van, you have to live on as the King I couldn't be. Don't hide your wings, Van. Let them take you as high as they possibly can and then attempt to fly even higher. I had forgotten your voice and about myself, but never forget who you are." The voices of both his mother and father played out in his memory after his recollection of Folken. "Never forget who you are, Van."  
"For one day, you shall become King." Escaflowne's world shook and rumbled, nearly knocking Hitomi off her feet but she refused to fall down and rebelled against the threat. She would stand strong and fight alongside of her man. "Van, you don't have much time if you continue to stay here. You're almost gone already. Love, just take my hand."

"**He will NEVER take your hand! This is what he longed for, this is what he wanted!"**

"What I wanted? No. I wanted to protect my kingdom, my people, and..." The image of the still young Van gazed at Hitomi and smiled, "My love!"

"**She's a liar, Van. Will you still feel her touch?"**

"I don't know. Hitomi, do you still love me? Even after who I've become?"  
"Become? What are you talking about? I should be the one saying that. You're Van Fanel, King of all Fanelia. That's who you are."  
"And Hitomi? Who are you? Can I still trust you?"

"**You can never trust her!"**

"Van! You know who I am! I am yours! Fully and completely! In any way you would have me! Nobody else's! I am so sorry for all I have done! For all of the unimaginable pain I've caused you! But I feel that pain too! Believe me, Van! I love you!" Van smiled and stretched his arm out to Hitomi and she grabbed it immediately. "I believe you, Hitomi. I truly do." Hitomi held the both of his hands really tight and felt the cold vapors transfom themselves into his real body. "Van? Are you ready to wake up?"

"I'm ready. Ready to wake from this nightmare and live my dreams with you. Everything else...can just..fade away." The spirit materialized into bone and flesh and Hitomi pulled him down to the surface, hugging him with all her might and warm salty tears streaming down her face finding their way into her mouth and across her cheeks. The world around the two lovers shook violently and the ground and skies started to crack, revealing the real world outside. Hitomi held Van closer and rested her head on his shoulder. "You hear that, Escaflowne? Van told you to fade away! So obey the King!"

"**King? A King needs power to rule and to protect. My power."**

"I don't need your power," Van responded. A large crack split the domed sky above in two, followed by a loud thunderous crash.

"**You are nothing without me! NOTHING!" **Escaflowne's voice bellowed.

"Nothing? I am nothing more than myself and you can't change that. Hitomi will never let me go."

"**You know what you are losing you worthless idiot? I AM you! I OWN you!"** Everything around them shook faster and was intensified. **"You will never have this power again!"**

"Escaflowne, I was almost lost to you before when Hitomi saved me. She saved me again and I never want to be lost again! She almost didn't find me; I would have been stuck in here with you becoming nothing more than a murder machine. You do not own me, I am my own being. The only person to ever proclaim something that drastic is Hitomi. She has all of me, and I have all of her."

"**Murder? You enjoyed the sweet nectar of blood before you hypocrite. It kept you alive, sustained you. Betray me now and I assure you that you will not live to see your harlot of a girlfriend again. You'll be too weak to exact your revenge or even defend yourself."**

"Weakness? Strength? So what? I don't give a damn about any of that meaningless stuff. The only meaning in my life is the person in my hands! I was lost just like her, but we've both found our way back home! I refuse to be kept inside a nightmare! And as long as Hitomi stands by my side, I can do anything and conquer anything no matter how 'weak' you think I am!" Van held Hitomi down by her wasit and drew her closer to his chest; close enough that their forheads were touching and they could feel each other's breath on their noses. "Are you ready?"  
"Whenever and wherever you need me, Van."

Van released his black wings and at the same time kissed Hitomi with a passionate love that seemed fit for two people bound together forever. The crumbling sky shattered the rest of Escaflowne's malevolent atmosphere and a white pillar of light descended on top of them, healing all their wounds. With that, the deep guttural and painful screams of Escaflowne were heard. Van was the heart of Escaflowne and now that heart belonged to someone else, it always had. The space was now pure white and the romantic couple were embraced by the source and teleported outside of Escaflowne's morbid world. When their kiss ended, Hitomi noticed that Van held her in the air, outside of that world and flapping his wings. She put her head on his chest and arms around his neck.

"**Where are you going, Van? We have a blood covenant! You can't just leave me whenever you feel like it!" **His eyes glew red and its organic body opened the chest to uncover the moving fluids and tentacles inside. **"Fulfill your contract you weak imbecile!"**

"The contract is void, Escaflowne. I am the King and I do not require your power."

"**That pendant around your neck speaks otherwise, King." **For the first time, Hitomi actually caught sight of the necklace she had given him and saw that it was now turned to black instead of red. That necklace was the only thing that tied them together from a distance and its defection was all because of her, she knew that much to be true. She reached out to touch it, but the feel was searing hot and she pulled back her hand. She didn't like that black color and how evil it looked and she wanted it to revert back to its gorgeous red. Then again, red was a color she had enough of. Hitomi shifted her head towards Van's eyes and she noticed that they were different from before; gentle yet strong.

"Escaflowne," Van continued, "I don't need your forced reality. You're powerful, I'll admit that, but I had to give you my life for that power. I can't live with that power and I can't live without Hitomi. We're both at fault for what we've done, but no man is ever beyond saving. We're different now and we are together once more. We are one!" His voice echoed and a burst of energy shot forth from it, giving his words tremendous power. "We're both at fault." Hitomi repeated quietly to herself, taking everything in.

_Hitomi, it's time to wake up from this nightmare and find yourself in a beautiful dream._  
"_Yeah, I know. I'm already awake. I just need to make that dream come true."  
This is reality Hitomi. Your wishes have finally reached the stars._

Escaflowne launched his tentacles at Van, but Hitomi with one arm around him, put her other arm forward and an invisible wall blocked the whips hurling them backwards. Hitomi's facial expressions turned angry and the inflection in her voice was secure and mighty, "Back off, Escaflowne. You can't harm us, you can't control us. My wishes give me power and that power is magnified by my love for Van. I made my mistakes, I lived my hell, but now; nobody, nothing will ever come inbetween us again! Even if..." She grabbed Van's Pendant and cared nothing for the burning pain, "Even if we're worlds away!"

"**Love? There is no such thing. Humans are imperfect and they can never aspire into greatness."**

"Humans make mistakes, but they have the power to make them. They also have the power to choose and to fix them." Hitomi ripped the Pendant off Van's neck, held it by its chain and then let it fall to Gaea's soil. "Van is my choice. After all the mistakes I've made and all the imperfections I've displayed, I will still choose Van because I have the power to make my dreams come true. So you can just...once and for all..."

Van and Hitomi grasped each other tight and spoke as one, "Fade." With that, Escaflowne was torn apart and unwound into the sky with a greenish color. Escaflowne screamed once more before disappearing into the night air and from existence. The green light then captured the two in an aura and splashed over top Van's wings. His head was thrown back and Hitomi held as tight as she could to his waist, never wanting to let him go. A sound like a heartbeat filled her ears and as she looked up, Van's wings were turning white, from the bottom up until it reached the very top. His wings were shining, more than they ever had in the past. The bathing light focused into a pillar and shot forth to the very heavens.

Yukari, who had been gazing at Escaflowne ever since she exited his realm, studied Hitomi's Pendant that fell from the sky. She was struck in awe from the brilliant light set before her and this necklace in her hands was now a beautiful red, with a pleasant feel behind it. That Pendant reminded her of all the good times she had with Hitomi and how the two always made fun of each other and she gave a friendly laugh at all the memories. That magical light and Stone allowed her to become aware of the truth behind the past events. She held the necklace to her chest and cried. She had acted terrible and especially to her best friend. She never even took into account the situation Hitomi was in and the anguish she felt through the entire thing. Now that Escaflowne was gone, it was like that burden of anger and evil just left her, bringing her back to who she once was. She wanted to thank Hitomi for that, but she had no idea how the two will react once they saw each other again. Would Hitomi hate her? Would she hate Hitomi? She had more than enough reason to hate Hitomi, but after what the both of them had been through and all of the forced deceptions, she was willing to forgive. Amano was another matter, but she'd take care of him once she returned.

"Return, huh? Haha! I bet I failed all of my classes being gone for so long." Amazed that she wasn't blinded by the large column of light, she continued to stare at its glory and was filled with hope and reassurance. She wondered if anyone else had seen it too.


	13. Chapter 13

**A Beautiful Dream**

"_Merle, I don't want you to ever stop being my friend."_  
"_Really, Lord Van? So we'll grow up together?"_  
"_Why wouldn't we? You're the only one who truly understands me." The young Van smiled and finished the wood carving in his hands. He tossed the piece to Merle and she caught it with a sparkle in her eye and blushed. She opened her palm and jumped, happy to see the mouse-shaped sculpture. "Aw Lord Van! It's beautiful!"_  
"_You think so? Daddy's been teaching me. That's my first finished project."_  
"_And it's for me! Thank you Van! I love you!"_  
"_You are welcome, Merle. No matter what happens, we'll always be friends."_

_

* * *

_

The shimmering beam lighting all that was around it revived that old memory from Merle's younger life as she stared at it out of a window from inside a small home in Adom Village. A single tear ran down her face and she smiled, happy for the first time in months. This had been a long nightmare for her, but now it was ending and turning into a peaceful reality. She didn't know for sure what that light was, but she could feel Van's presence inside it and it felt warm and soothing, just like the true Van only she could see. It almost made her forget why she even came here for a brief moment.

Since Dryden labeled her as a threat, she ran to the village, the only refuge she could think of at the time. She was exhausted when she finally reached it and passed out as soon as she got there. Her trek was almost non-stop, resting only when it was necessary; pushing herself to her very limits trying to look for some help. When she came to, she sprung out of her bed in a dire panic sweating and searching her current location. She then remembered where she was and why she was there. Once she came to her senses and more aware, she pleaded with the villagers to help Van even if it meant they had to fight; Van was a loved member of their family just like herself. They refused to join in a war, even if it _was_ their Van. Zaibach had used too many of their people as suicide bombers and cannon fodder placed on the front lines. Merle screamed at them and threw a fit for a long time in protest of their decision but they eventually settled her down once she came back to reason. She was hesitant, but she caved and agreed with them; any more bloodshed would be overwhelming.

After that, she walked around the village in a solemn state for the rest of the day until the children sneaked up on her and pulled her tail wanting her to play and sing with them. She grunted in annoyance and didn't care for any of that childish mess but as she considered their saddened faces, she accepted and enjoyed what was left of the evening with them. When it was over and she sent them off, she walked slowly to her hut and cried herself to sleep having nothing else to think about but Van.

Today however, was totally different and she finally felt a sense of peace and comfort and she was going to run towards Van to see what new transformation he went through. She frowned a bit recalling that Denieos and his goons were still out there and there was still a chance that'd she lose her Van to them again; her _brother_ Van. It looked good, but she knew better than to hope for the best from all of the previous events; even though she secretly did. The glorious light finally dimmed and went away as the sun arose from its own sleep. A few seconds later, after Merle registered it, she searched the small room frantically for her supplies; she was going back to Fanelia no matter what anyone else told her. Perhaps Adom would allow her to borrow a horse, that would be so much better than running and now everyone seemed happy because of that strange light, she could probably extract their kindness out of that. A new serene feeling had overtaken them from that pillar of light and while nobody could really explain it, it didn't matter all that much since it was so reassuring. That was until Merle caught a glimpse of someone standing in front of the main courtyard after walking out the door with her pack.

"Allen! What are you doing here? Go away! I don't want to see you! I'll keep Lord Van safe and you can't have him!" Merle snapped, taking a rock in her hands. "Leave now, Allen. I'll friggin' kill you myself if it'll save Van." She threw the rock, aiming it at Allen's face and he dodged the projectile calming his white stallion afterwards and holding the reigns of the other right beside him from the spook.  
"Merle, that is not the reason I came," Allen responded in a very calm and comforting voice, showing off his gleaming smile.  
"Liar!" Merle screamed pointing her finger at him, "I don't trust my enemies, Allen. No reason why I ever should."  
"Correct, Merle. You should never trust your enemies, but could you trust a friend?" He asked, smiling again.

"You're no friend of mine! I hate you! You want to kill Van, I despise you! Just... just go and BURN, Allen!" Merle lifted her finger up at him and looked at him with threatening eyes. "That's what I think about you, Knight of Caeli." She crouched down low ready to pounce with her hair standing on end and showing all her fangs. Allen had never seen her like that before, she looked so fierce, so feral, and he knew that her words weren't just some empty threat that she could never back up. She was ready to kill.

"Behave yourself, child!" called out the village Elder. Startled, Merle eased her stance. "Allen has every reason to be here as you do, Merle. Stop treating him like an enemy." Merle shot the old wolf an icey glare and flailed her hands about. "Whaddia mean? Both Dryden AND Allen called me an enemy of Astoria! Why are you defending them?"  
"Merle," Allen joined in, "Astoria has fallen."  
"W-what did you say?" Merle asked in shocked disbelief.  
"Denieos advanced his attack on us while Fanelia was burning. Our forces were indeed in larger number and we managed to defeat every single adversary, but their unexpected attack caused significant damage to our city. All of Denieos' men were eventually vanquished but he attained his goal by shredding us to threads."

Merle started to cry while Allen continued his story.  
"Merle, it was like he didn't even care who was killed just as he could tear us down. Fanelia was already burning and all the men saw Escaflowne in the sky, so the attack on our city was most likely to inspire rage. At the same time, we could all feel a sense of hatred and wrath in the air although Denieos was nowhere to be found. He was controlling our minds, making us see horrors unknown and lose our men. It took all we had just to fight that to enter back onto the main battlefield. Even so, our fights were extremely difficult. Whatever his reason for attack, we could feel his anger and retribution inside of it; Van was doing something he didn't like because unusual screams carried their sound from Fanelia straight into our ears."

Every happy feeling Merle had just recently experienced was immediately shattered and despair took over their place; the nightmare had returned. Allen saw her concern and dismounted from his horse. He knelt down and tried to console her. "Don't worry, Milady. Dryden is safe as he was sheltered by Freid during the attack. We lost many good men from Denieos' wrath, but we still live Merle. We still live and Astoria can be rebuilt, just like Fanelia. That brilliant light near Escaflowne must have had an affect on the battle we fought whether it be good or bad and I can't help but think that all of this wasn't just mere coincidence." He placed his hand on Merle's head and she only looked at him with tears in her eyes, "I came here because this is something very important and this mystery has something to do with Van. You and him grew up together and you have one amazing strong bond. We need that power to determine Van's fate. And Gaea's..." Merle looked at him very confused, "Power?"

"Yes Merle, just like Hitomi in fact. You ever notice how much stronger Van became whenever you were standing by his side? He cares deeply for you Merle, and that type of friendship is rare."  
"But what about Escaflowne!" Merle squeeked, still worried about the situation.  
"We haven't the slightest on that, Merle. We're lucky enough to even know what we know. It's like Denieos _wanted_ us to know all of it. Whatever happened, Merle, Escaflowne must be a huge part of it."  
"Then whaddia talkin' fer, Allen? Let's get outta here!" Merle exclaimed, rolling back to her feet. The Elder took a deep sigh and placed his hands on Merle.  
"Careful, child. You were always the type to just rush in and act on your feelings without a second thought. The people we care about give us amazing meaning in life, Merle, but it's not worth it if you die without changing anything. Keep your mind clear and yourself settled."  
"Yes, Elder.." Merle answered him hanging her head down.  
"Ready, Merle?" Allen asked her, knowing that she was waiting for his cue.  
"You know it." She mounted the second horse and the two of them rode with great speed towards Fanelia.

* * *

Hitomi and Yukari stared at each other and never said a word for many long drawn out minutes, having all their thoughts and feelings race inside of them remembering the past months. One opened her mouth but closed it shut right after, all the words she ever wanted to tell the other one just escaping her. Van was the middle-man in all this awkwardness and knew that he had been part of the problem as well. He could just feel their strong auras and didn't even know what to think. He never had sex with Yukari, even though he still hated Hitomi during the time; he wasn't interested in Yukari or romance. All he wanted was power and that girl was only a stepping stone. Escaflowne made that logic worse and he would have lost himself without Hitomi's help. He had fought many battles before, but after all of the altercations Merle had with him or any other person, he knew best to not get himself locked into a cat fight. He backed away and Hitomi grabbed his wrist forcefully.

"Where you think you're goin', love?" she asked squeezing it tight.  
"I, um, err..."  
"Van, it's okay. You've lifted that veil over my eyes by defeating Escaflowne and Hitomi lifted yours. You don't have to worry about the way I feel, I can see clearly now." Yukari exhaled and looked back to Hitomi. "Hitomi, I was such an ass! We were both trapped inside a horrible dream and I don't even know what drove me to act the way I did!"  
"Yeah Yukari. You definitely were. I was too, though. I betrayed both you and Van on the same night and at the time I didn't even care. I'll have to live with that now no matter how much in pains me, even though I'm under the shelter of Van's wings."

Hitomi and Yukari hugged each other and wept until their arms became weak and had no more breath to cry. When their lamentations were over, Van knew that Hitomi still detested herself for what she had done. He wiped the tears from her eyes and she closed them, touching his hand on her cheek. Van then took her hand and guided her away from Yukari so that only they could hear each other. He grabbed her by her waist and pulled her close to his chest, locking their eyes together. "Hitomi? What are you talking about? You'll have to 'live with it?' Live with what? I don't know what you are saying."  
"Van?" Hitomi said, unable to think of any other response.  
"Just let it go, alright? 'I did this, I did that...' So what? Just what are you saying? You think I actually care about any of that?"  
"But Van! I..."  
"You what? You're in my arms now, aren't you?"

"Van! There is no way you could possibly mean that! How could you? Stop trying to make me feel better by lying to yourself! And to me! There is no way you have forgotten what I did! I can't! It **kills** me inside, Van! You... You can't even understand..."  
"Understand? Of course I can't understand it; you're acting like the only one who ever did anything wrong. I have my faults too, Hitomi."  
"But mine!"  
"Yours doesn't matter. I've already told you that so please stop talking and kiss me like nothing ever happened."

Before Hitomi could speak again, Van intercepted her words by placing his mouth on her own. It was so direct and abrupt that Hitomi was caught completely off-guard at first but within the moment she too closed her eyes and touched his cheek, enjoying every last second of his pleasant kisses. When they finished, Yukari walked over and nudged her friend, giving a wink along with it. "Haha! See Hitomi? You have a boyfriend after all! You'll make all the boys back home so jealous!"

"Back home? Yukari, I don't know if I ever want to return," Hitomi said, pushing herself closer to Van. "After living this nightmare without him for over two painful years, I need to be with him. He is my dream come true, Yukari. I don't think I can ever live without him again."  
Yukari frowned a bit knowing that she may never see her friend again and that they had so much to catch up on, but then she smiled seeing how happy Hitomi finally was. "Aww, Hitomi. You really do love him, don't you? All your feelings have finally come out and aren't confused anymore. They are so beautiful, Hitomi. You are so beautiful. I'm so glad you've reached this point."

"Yeah, so am I Yukari." A brief moment of time passed before they heard a loud screeching sound in the distance.  
"Hitomi!" Merle called out, happy to see her. She jumped off her horse and ran to greet Hitomi personally after not seeing her for so long. Hitomi smiled and hugged her as well. Merle then noticed Van and instinctively jumped on him, clinging to his neck. She gave him a tiny lick as a greeting and Hitomi threw her off in jealousy. "Merle! Just what do you think you're doing?"

"Haha! Chill out, Hitomi. I can greet my brother. I can't steal him away from you," she answered giving a wide smile.  
"Heh, watch out for this one, Hitomi," Yukari prodded.  
"Hey! Yukari!" Hitomi puffed up and forced herself into Van's arms hinting at him that he best pick her up or there'd be loads of trouble. Allen dismounted as well and greeted his old friends.  
"Hello, Van. How are you feeling? And Hitomi, pleasure meeting you again Milady." he said taking a bow. Hitomi frowned and pointed with her eyes to Van, indirectly telling Allen to back off.  
"Haha! Hitomi! You're getting very protective over him now, aren't you? Stay calm, I won't try anything."

"Yeah, well you did once. Just making it loud and clear."  
Van, who was feeling very disturbed about all of this, spoke up. "Hitomi, I'm dropping you. I'm not carrying you the whole time."  
Merle snickered, "Hahaha! He's sayin' you're fat, Hitomi!"  
Hitomi's face turned red and she wiggled free from Van and slapped him. "Fat? Van!"  
Van's face turned red to match Hitomi's. "You're heavy too, Merle! Always jumping on me!"  
Hitomi bit her lip. "'Heavy too?' VAN!"  
"No! Hitomi! That's not what I meant!" He said trying to defend himself from both Merle and his beloved. "I..."

Laughing, Allen quickly brought himself back to the situation at hand and motioned the girls to leave Van alone. "Van, I need to ask you something. And tell you something as well." The comedic atmosphere was destroyed by Allen's serious tone. "What was that light we saw?"  
"Light? Oh, you mean Escaflowne..."  
At those words, Allen drew his blade. "Van, if you are still using that evil for your selfish desires, our talk ends here." To Allen's surprise, Van never unsheathed his sword and smiled.  
"Allen, Escaflowne is dead. I don't need him anymore. The only one I need is Hitomi." Merle looked at him a bit disappointed, but glad that he was back to normal. "Hey! What are you looking so sad for, Merle? Remember our promise?"

"Our promise, Van?"  
"'No matter what happens, we will always be friends.' I need you too, Merle. Hitomi is my one and only love but you are my family. Never forget that."  
"Aww Van! Yay!" Merle exclaimed.  
"Van, there is something else..." Allen said a bit forlorn, "Astoria was attacked by Denieos and the remaining soliders from Zaibach he had recruited. The battle happened around the same time Fanelia was set on fire and the violence increased once that light shone, like it was their last-ditch effort or something. All their soldiers were killed, we made sure of it, but..."  
"Allen?"  
"We suffered many losses, Van. The city has fallen and she does not have enough strength to withstand another blow."

Hitomi gasped, remembering that it was like that time where Astoria was invaded on Millerna's wedding day; the same twisted thought inside of Escaflowne's trying to make her believe it. Yukari as left out of breath as well, not even able to think of the first word to say that everything would be fine. Van gripped his sword hilt in anger and Merle noticed the frustration and violence in his eyes. "Lord Van!" At her sound, Van shook off the angst and avoided the lure of death. "Merle, Denieos HAS to pay!"

"He will Lord Van, but please... PLEASE DON'T GO BACK THERE!" she screamed as loud as she possibly could, wishing for Van to never return to the darkest reaches of his soul.

"Insects shouldn't learn how to speak, creature. If Van hates me, let him hate me. It will only work to my advantage. Enough of your inane babble, the whole lot of you are nothing but worthless maggots."  
Van shifted his eyes to the voice and held his sword tight. "Denieos!"  
Merle cringed from Van's cry and both her and Hitomi grabbed his arms standing behind his still spread out wings.

Allen drew his blade and protected Yukari. Denieos was above them, flapping his bloody wings to keep him suspended in the air. "Van, you bastard. Your wings are so ugly, that pure white color reminds me of Atlantis' foolishness thinking that they could live in peace and disown their need for violence." He stretched out his arm and his giant scythe formed into his palm. He twirled it around a few times before pointing it directly at Hitomi. "I _**loathe **_you, you despicable whore! Your wish was supposed to be that of hate! Clashing against Van and magnified by Escaflowne, that dark energy would have been enough to rip apart the skies and open the doors to Atlantis! That ludicrous emotion of yours called 'love' is humanity's worse attribute. That imperfect unreasonable feeling causes more harm than benefit in your world and yet you all still long for it. It never stays, too. What civilization longs for the destruction of their own world? Atlantis fell because they forsook power for emotion! We had left Earth, we could have ruled the very heavens! Look what happens because of your so-called 'love,' Hitomi. The power of hate you once held fused with that hindrance and the two opposing forces birthed all of your confusion. Just think, Hitomi. Abandon this insane, unreal, unpredictable and nonbeneficial idea of love. Love is about as fake as anything could possibly be, so just give in to your rage. You're still connected with Van, Hitomi. Do him a favor and leave. Don't you still hear that seductive voice?"

_Seductive voice? Hitomi, I think he's talking about me. _the words of her Rebellion spoke, _He doesn't understand, does he? I was never vengeful, although sometimes I did fall into rage. I am rebellious in nature no matter what and you know that oh so well. But now..._

_Now you're listening to the voice of your Heart, Hitomi._

_That's correct, and because of that, you now have the ability to choose what you want to rebel against instead of having me go against everything. You are no longer bound to my will, I am bound to yours._

_We act as one now, Hitomi. You can mouth your own words, speak your own mind, and use your own Heart to Rebel against those who stand in its way._

_That's right, beautiful. So yeah, just do what that idiot says; listen to my voice._

Hitomi released her clutch on Van and walked forward, looking up into the sky where Denieos hovered. "Oh I can definitely hear her, Denieos. Her voice is loud and perfectly clear."  
"Umm, Hitomi?" Merle said, afraid of what she meant by her words. Denieos expressed a wide grin and lowered himself a little closer to the surface. "You do? So you've proven me right."  
"No, you couldn't be more wrong, Denieos. She's tellin' me to Rebel against those who stand in front of my Heart. My love for Van is FAR beyond anything that you'll ever know and you can't take him away from me this time."

"This time? You are flawed. You admit it's happened before. How can it still be strong?"

Hitomi's fist clenched and shook. "So what if it's happened before? You expect me to stay there in the past punishing myself over and over again for it every day?" A mighty gust of wind blew flying hair short hair upwards, signifying the strength behind her words. "Yeah? How can I still brood and whine over that when I'm already in his arms? Already under his wings? And forever part of his soul? My love is STRONGER _because_ of what I did! It proved to me once and for all what I wanted. Dreamed for. Needed. THIS is my power, Denieos. So just try and break me from it!"

"I see. Am I supposed to be threatened by your pretty speech? I **will** break you, Hitomi. Your words carry no sound into my ears and hold absolutely no meaning at all. I'll show you just how frail love really is. I'll make you hate me, hate Van, hate everything. I'll kill him in front of your very eyes and then violate you and take advantage over your weak body while it's still in my hands. I'll dominate you, take everything away!"  
"I will not allow you to lay a hand on my Hitomi, Denieos. You still have to pay for your sins."  
"You will defend her, Van? A lowly human who betrayed you?"  
"Yes, I will. Always."

Denieos chuckled and spat on the ground looking over towards Allen and Yukari. "Yukari, Yukari. You were the catalyst in all this. Remember what I did to your leg? How you were so weak and useless? You still are, you were supposed to keep Van's mind away from Hitomi but you obviously failed that one. You couldn't even make your best friend hate you after half-killing her. Are you even worth anything?"

Allen, defending her honor, gripped his sword hilt and entered an attacking stance. Yukari smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Allen, I can defend myself." She looked at Denieos with disgust before she continued to speak, "Oh-ho! Look at you! Mr. All High-and-Mighty! If you're so powerful, come down here and say that to my face 'stead of flappin' your hideous wings. You've got nothin' on me and your hold over all of us has been broken because of Hitomi."

"**All** of this has been because of Hitomi! She ruined my only chance to restore Atlantis to its former glory and colliding both the Earth and Gaea! All of that for just some pipedream she calls love. She's pathetic."

_Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. Remember when you used to call yourself that, Hitomi? You were so messed up. That was once your favorite word._

_Don't let that murderer tell you that, Hitomi. He's such a liar._

"_I know. He can't do anything to me."_

_Yes, never again._

"Denieos! You are the one who's pathetic! Toying with our lives and twisting our dreams! You're the one who needs to wake up!"

Eventually, Denieos had heard enough of all their idiocy and swung his scythe in a large motion, blowing everybody back as he touched down. "Fine, I don't need Van or the rest of you. Only Hitomi. I'll kill you ALL in front of her and then I'll take whatever and do whatever I want with her. Until her wasted body either dies or opens the portal. I'll force her pain and hatred into my own will." Allen and Van gave each other a quick glance as to say, "You ready, Friend? Let's take him apart." and charged at him with an 'X' pattern attack; Van from the left and Allen from the right. Merle took all this in and felt so helpless. Powerless. Useless. Van fought alongside Allen with a strong bond of friendship and their clanging steels felt like torture to her, she didn't want to see either one of them die. She couldn't do anything and she felt so unimportant. Yukari felt the same way as she watched, standing there in awe-struck silence. The metallic sparks flew in the air and just the very feel of it was so new to her. The morning sky was now showing itself, but still carried a reddish color rising from the dawn that reminded her of blood. "...The sky's bleeding..." she whispered to herself. She touched her leg, bringing back the memories of that tragic event that almost killed her. The injury had healed since then, but her leg would never be the same; she couldn't ever be the team captain again. What a waste of life.

Hitomi wrapped her arm around her friend and Merle joined them for comfort; what else could they possibly do? "Your girlfriends are cowering in fear, _Lord Van._" Denieos taunted, pushing his two assailants backward with his enormous scythe. "Leave them alone, Denieos! Your quarrel is with me!"  
"With _you?_ That's so selfish. I'll fight who I want and when I want. You have no rule over me."

"And neither do you!" Van shoveled the scythe upwards and pierced through Denieos' shoulder. Allen's blade followed and punctured his side. His blood dripped over top their weapons and gravitated towards the ground, soaking into the dirt. Van became captured at the familiar sight, reminiscing over every fight he had ever been a part of. Denieos' blood streamed from his mouth, coughing up the thick liquid.  
The Pendant around his neck shone and the two foreign objects inside his skin were forced out, healing the entrances as they left. "Fools. Think a couple of sticks can kill me? You disgrace yourselves if you believe that."  
"Disgrace? My life is built upon honor, demon! you are the one who is disgraceful!" Allen retorted, having his attack countered by Denieos.

"Humans have no honor. After creating Gaea, they wished to return back to Earth. Cretins! Insignificant lowly animals." The tip of his scythe cut through Allen's chest and made a long diagonal mark across it. Allen toppled over in pain, sweating like he was just thrown inside a burning furnace. The wound wasn't deep enough to be immediately fatal since he had dodged at that last possible second, but if he continued to fight, it would probably kill him.

Denieos flew back a few feet and gloated, "Is this what you call a Knight, Schezar? I've killed children who were stronger than you." Allen implanted his sword into the ground and propped himself up with one hand while clutching his wound with the other. The blood stained his clothing and poured onto the soil. "Hold thy tongue, vile demon. I've suffered worse pain than this in my life." he said remembering the picture of Celena. Yukari gasped and touched her middle-chest in surprise. "Oh Allen..."

"Haha! Try it, vermin! I dare you to lift your blade one more time at me!"  
"I'll send you back to hell and carry out Millerna's vengeance in the King's stead!"  
"Allen? What are you saying?" Van asked, fearing the worst. Denieos stuck his scythe into the ground blad first and crossed his arms. "Yes, what are you talking about? Interesting, did I kill him too? This is so much fun."  
"Van, King Dryden doesn't have the strength to fight anymore. He is in mourning and hasn't left his bed for days, constantly staring at the empty spot where Millerna used to occupy."  
"Dryden..." Hitomi whispered.

"Aww, isn't that just sooo sweet?" Denieos chuckled.  
"You dare mock his pain?" Allen threatened, but then falling back down from loss of blood.  
"I mock everyone's pain," Denieos retrieved his weapon and spun it around. "Ready to die?"  
Van stood in front of Allen before he could do anything else. "Allen, leave me. This is not your fight anymore. You will die, there is no justice in that."  
"You expect me to abandon my post, Lord Van?"

"No, Allen. Look at his eyes, he wants to face me and me alone. Leave now before he changes his mind. Girls, you go along with him. I can't bear the thought of having another friend die. Merle, take them back to Adom. The safest way you know."  
"But Van!"  
"NOW Merle! I need you to do this, I'm counting on you!"  
Merle, understanding what Van was trying to say, obliged. "Okay, Van." Merle and Yukari carried Allen to the horses that had been waiting for them.

Yukari, seeing how Allen's bleeding wouldn't stop, grunted and rolled her eyes, stripping off her top shirt revealing the undershirt which was a black tank-top. She wrapped the discarded clothing around Allen's wound and made sure it was tight, perhaps a little too tight coming out of her annoyance. The temporary tourniquet would have to hold for the time being. "Don't be getting any crazy ideas you playboy. You still remind me of Amano, jerk," she said with a slight laugh and smile. Yukari helped Allen mount the horse and she took the reins. Merle got on hers and called out for Hitomi.  
"Hitomi! Let's go!"

"Yes, Van. You better send her away very soon before I rape and kill her. She ruined everything and I want to feel her blood wash over my skin."

Hitomi stood in protest. "Van! I'm not leaving you!"  
"Hitomi! Shut up! I can't lose you ever again! You said that you couldn't live without me, and I can't live without you."  
"Van, I can't even live a few feet away from you. I'm never letting you go."  
"Hitomi! Idiot! Get out of here!"  
"No way, Van. I will stand by your side."  
"What's wrong with you? You will _die_ by my side!"  
"Van, I don't care. Long as you're there with me."

"Hitomi, I have your power. You are always with me no matter where you go. You do not need to stay here."  
"Van, I am your power. I will never leave, I will give your wishes wings," she said, patting his feathers. She waved her hand and signaled the horses to run off without her.  
"Hitomi!" Merle shouted, leaving her vision. It was all up to her now, Merle would do as Van told her and make sure that the three of them were safe. If this was all she could do, she would do it gladly.

"How long are you two going to talk? You bore me to tears. Show me this power; the power of your own wishes. Let us see who has the strongest ones."

Van pushed Hitomi aside as Denieos attacked him. "Pay attention, whore. I'll kill him in front of you and then have my way with you after it is all over. Every night until you finally cave." Their blades locked together and the rose high into the air. Hitomi picked herself up from the ground and spat out some of the dirt that was in her mouth. She searched desperately for Van when her eyes met with him in the sky. "Van...I..."

_Hitomi! Be quiet, girl! Don't you even start to think that way. He needs you._

Hitomi picked up her Pendant necklace that had been on the ground the entire time and hugged it to her chest, it was back to normal now. She clasped it around her neck and closed her eyes; her wish was going to reach Van. "I love you, don't you ever fade away."  
"Van, you've tarnished the Atlantean race long enough! Die and know that I will destroy your woman in more ways than you can ever imagine. Who knows? She may even grow to like it, she discarded you once already."  
"Like hell you will!" Van cried and continued his assault.  
"Ha! Like you could ever stop me, weakling. I will shatter every shred of dignity she's ever held. For every night until she dies. I will take her, have some fun with her, impregnant her and kill her child. Every single time. She'll curse your name as she's screaming out mine."

_Van, stay with me and only me. I won't let anybody else touch me._

"She will never, Denieos. And you will never have your way with her! EVER!" Van's sword clashed against the scythe with tremendous strength and chipped part of it off. Denieos was surprised by Van's burst of energy, but regained his composure and pushed back.  
"Give up, Van. You were born a loser and will die as a failure."  
"Denieos! I don't believe a single word you say, I will kill you. I will take back Millerna's honor and you will pay for your sins!"

_That's right, Van. We can do this. No one can interfere with our love. Kill him, let him rot for what he did._

"Denieos, you've done enough damage to this world. And to me. I can hear Hitomi's voice and feel her power flowing inside of me, you are no longer welcome on Gaea and are a parasite on this world." Hitomi's Pendant shone and Van's sword sliced clean through Denieos' scythe. "Van, you bastard! You and those ugly wings..."  
"These wings are pure, not tainted with malice or blood. And I will use these wings to soar as high as possible and then go even farther. With Hitomi in my arms guiding my path."

_Oooh yeah! I'll never allow you to leave me and you will never allow me. Let's fly together, I'll go wherever you want to go. And Van... I'll do whatever you want me to as well. I love you more than anything else in the whole universe. I refuse to let you go, I'll never, ever leave._

Denieos raised an eyebrow in confusion. "MY wish is stronger, Denieos. My wish and my only wish is to remain here with Hitomi until we both die. And after we die, we'll still be with each other for an eternity. But you..." Van grabbed ahold of his enemy's neck and jabbed the sword into his stomach. "You will die here, no matter what type of power you have. Hitomi trumps yours _because_ she is human. She isn't like you, Denieos. She has the ability to act on her own decisions and change her own destiny.

_And my destiny is with you, Van._

"And my destiny is with her. So you can just die." Van shoved his sword into Denieos' body and it came out on the other end. He twisted the blade and that disturbed the newly opened wound, enlarging it. The sound of Denieos' coughing and blood spatter coming up from his throat was annoying to Van. He wanted to kill him, he really did. In fact, he longed for it. This man had no reason to be kept alive and with his death, he would be the last person Van would ever kill. He snapped the neck and extracted his blade from the ribs. With one final confirming blow, Van cut the head of Denieos off his body and the remnants fell down along with it.

"Hitomi, I will never kill again. I don't need to anymore." He splashed the blood off his sword and sheathed it back up. He floated down to the surface and the moment his toe touched the dirt, Hitomi rushed him and knocked him down, jumping on top of him and kissing him intensely. "It's over, Van. We can live our dreams now."

"Yes, Hitomi. And I never want to wake up."

* * *

Merle saw Van fly in the air making his way to Adom with Hitomi in his hands. She got excited and rushed out of the small abode. "Lord Van! Lord Van!" When he landed, Merle hugged the both of them together. "I'm so happy to see you back!"  
"Me too, Merle. You're not going to jump on him again, will you?" Hitomi asked, a bit skeptical.  
"What? Hey! He's my brother, Hitomi! I can hug him whenever I want!" Merle snapped back.  
"Haha, alright, alright. If that's the case you can."  
"So, it's all over, isn't it Van?" asked an unseen voice from behind.

"Dryden! How... how are you feeling?" Van asked, worried over his friend's health.  
"Van, don't worry about me. Millerna has been avenged thanks to you." Van put his hand on Dryden and the two talked for a long time, catching up with each other. While they were talking, Yukari and Hitomi pulled each other aside and held a private conversation.  
"Yukari, I don't want to go back to Earth. Well, to be accurate, I _can't_ go back to Earth. I love him so much, Yukari. If I leave him again, I might as well die."  
"So you're serious then, aren't you?"  
"More so than I have ever been in my life, Yukari."  
"You know I'm gonna miss you, yeah?"  
"Yeah, I know. But Yukari, even if it's for you, I still can't leave him."

"I see."  
"Yukari... what will you do when you go back? I really screwed things up and your family..."  
"Heh, don't worry Hitomi. I'll just move in with yours," she told her winking.  
"Haha, well okay. You'll tell them, won't you?"  
"Of course I will, silly."  
"And Amano?"

"Amano? I'm not sure what I want to do with him just yet but he'll get whatever he deserves."  
"Oh, you're going to play it _that_ way, huh Yukari?"  
"Yeah, I see no reason to do otherwise."  
Hitomi looked at her Pendant and then back at Yukari. "You know Yukari, if I do this, we will never be able to see each other again. Never forget about me, okay?"  
"Hitomi, stop acting so stupid. If you _don't_ do this, you'll end up going back yourself! Stop worrying about every little thing, that's going to annoy Van if you keep it up."

"Haha, yeah. Be careful with that, Hitomi. Our Lord Van gets worked up pretty easily," Allen said, joining in the conversation. He took one look at Yukari and bowed. "Have a pleasant journey, okay Milady?"  
"Gah! Stop calling me that already! So annoying! It's not like I'm a princess or anything!"  
"Only trying to be respectful, that's just how I am."  
"Yeah Yukari, we all get used to him," Merle said grinning widely.  
"Hitomi, are you sure about this?" Van reassured her.

"Van, Yukari, everyone, please. Let me do what I want. Van, if I never do this, I'll never be able to see you again. This Pendant is the only thing that connects me back to Earth and will summon me back someday. I can't ever separate myself from Van again. And besides..."  
"Yes, Hitomi?"  
"My wishes have come true, I don't need it anymore."

Hitomi placed the necklace onto the floor and took Van's sword. "Here I go, love. Yukari, I will miss you."  
"Me too, Hitomi." The two of them hugged each other and then Yukari motioned for Hitomi to get it over with.  
"Van, hold my hand as hard as you can. I don't want you to release." Van did as he was told and the two held their hands together on the sword's handle. The sword crashed on top of the red Stone and shattered it. Yukari was whisked away and Hitomi was still in Van's arms.  
"That's it, Van. You can't get rid of me now."  
"Like I would ever."

* * *

"Van, that was amazing. I had completely forgotten how beautiful our love really is," Hitomi said, her hand clasped into his on their bed.  
"Yes, Hitomi. That was indeed wonderful. And the best part..."  
"Yes, Van?"

"We will always be together, we're no longer worlds away."


End file.
